Want to cum in more ways than with just my own fingers

Discussion in 'Female Sexuality' started by Persephone, Jun 15, 2015.


 
  1. Redtulip

    Redtulip Member

    Hi F,
    You post is really involved , really funny and very interesting I will do my best to answer.
    My first post on this site was re my different orgasmic experiences , I will cut and paste it here and that covers a lot of what you asked.

    I am a 45 year old woman who has had the same sexual partner for 26 years. In that time I have discovered that I can achieve 3 different types of sexual climaxes. I would like to get feedback from other women and men on their experiences as reading romance/ erotic literature as well as numerous contradictory female sexuality studies on climaxes , orgasms etc have left me somewhat confused.
    The first type of climax is what I will call a clitoral climax. I reach this through direct stimulation of the outer clitoris. The physical manifestation of this climax is intense pleasure, rhythmical muscle contractions of the entire vulva area including the anus and I usual vocalise through this climax with rhythmical ah of oh sounds.
    The second type of climax I have is what I will call a G spot climax. I have these when my partner inserts his fingers into my vagina and rubs the front internal wall of my vagina quite vigorously. I can reach a climax this way within seconds. The physical manifestations of this climax is intense pleasure, at times copious amounts of vaginal liquid expelling from my vagina, which is definitely not urine and I vocalize through this climax with a high mewling sound.
    The 3rd type of climax I will call a vaginal climax and this I can only achieve about 60%-70% of the time. I can best achieve this climax if my partner and I are in a missionary position with my legs over his shoulders and he is thrusting vigorously into me. The physical manifestation of this climax is intense pleasure, a slight loss of mental awareness , and I vocalize this with the clichéd shouting that you see on TV or movies. This climax I must say is the most satisfying of the 3


    So that is my original post and covers a fair amount of what you wanted to know.

    I can only choose which orgasm I want to have by which method and area I attend to eg clitoral orgasm masturbate my clit, g-spot get hubby to finger fuck me, vaginal get hubby to do the nutcracker ( missionary legs over shoulder). I can't have 2 or 3 at the same time but can have 1 2 or 3 in the same session.

    I know that women generally find it easier to have a clitoral orgasm when their partner goes down on them but although I love it and get very turned on, as soon as he inserts his fingers I tend to have a g-spot orgasm which usurps the clit one and I lose focus in getting to the clit one if that makes sense. Mind you they all feel good but I really have to mentally focus and get lost in fantasy to have a clit orgasm and when I am with my partner I am just so into what he is doing it feels silly to say just keep quiet and let me focus.

    I have a rabbit and an egg type toy which I use to masturbate but no specific g spot toy. I just haven't been that motivated to try and achieve the other 2 types of O myself as I am really happy with the status quo. If I really want to go to town on myself I insert the rabbit in my vagina position the vibrating ears on my anus and use the egg on my clit... earthshattering!

    Funny re the watching SO and me going for it, I may be up for it as am a bit kinkier but he def is the conservative type so no dice....lol.
    Fascinated likes this.

     
  2. Fascinated

    Fascinated Member

    Tulip, that was a magnificent post. I have to read it again several times and devise a couple hundred more questions. You have created a monster! Thank you for a very detailed and well written reply.

    As to: "Funny re the watching SO and me going for it, I may be up for it as am a bit kinkier but he def is the conservative type so no dice."

    Well I am not sure that one would call a session in a fMRI kinky. They are fairly similar to an MRI. Getting aroused in a 30 ton magnetic cyclops hammering away like a diesel locomotive probably requires more dedication to science than kink. But just think you would be making neuron porn.

    With the blaze and conversely dark spots (when you have losses of awareness) in your head you would have all the nerds in the control room wanking..."Oh baby you are hot!"

    Kate Sukel orgasms in a fMRI:

    http://www.theguardian.com/science/blog/2011/nov/16/orgasm-mri-scanner

    Porn for the neuroscientist:



    Lovely but with no audio description, what the hell are we looking at?

     
  3. Fascinated

    Fascinated Member

    Here is another article on fMRI imaging. The article is OK, but the short video is surprisingly informative although a bit hurried. It notes the black out effect that I mentioned above. Note the still photo of the brain scan is not orgasm but locations on the sensory cortex that light up when the various area are stimulated.

    http://www.vox.com/2015/4/1/8325483/orgasms-science

     
  4. Fascinated

    Fascinated Member

    Persephone, before I lost my mind imagining RedTulip's brain scans, I was looking for information on orgasm pertaining to your difficulty with partner induced orgasm. Emily Nagoski author of Come As You Are and several other books, has some free booklets on her website the dirty normal

    http://www.thedirtynormal.com/downloads/downloads/


    I read about half of the Sexnerd on Orgasm. She has an interesting perspective on orgasm, mainly that female orgasm should stand on it own with its own quirks and not be defined by male orgasm. In any event, the booklet is very informative and it free! She has two other booklets that I have not read yet. I did buy her book as well and started reading it but I am getting swamped in books now.

    She has an excellent blog at this site, here is an article where she tackles the Rabbit Vibrator:

    http://www.thedirtynormal.com/blog/2010/05/22/bullshitness-of-rabbit-vibrators/

    I must confess that the Rabbit (no I don't own one) made the engineering hairs on the back of my neck stand up and go woo woo. Rotating oscillating head, weighted rotating beads right in the vestibular bulb region and the gentle rabbit ears to tickle the clit. OMG my imagination starts looking like that YouTube I posted above. While the dynamics of this contraption always amazed me, I must admit the sight of it is hmmmm...I don't know...it kind of looks like a Transformer. But the thought of that rotating head thwapping one's cervix and anterior fornix, ooohhhh la la. Emily's post kind of makes me feel like a teen age boy caught wanking at porn.
    Last edited: Jul 4, 2015
    Persephone likes this.

     
  5. didi111

    didi111 New Member

    Nearly 50 percent of men and women who have used lube say that it makes it easier to have an orgasm,
    according to a new study from Indiana University’s Center for Sexual Health Promotion released by Trojan Lubricants.

     
  6. Persephone

    Persephone New Member

    Yeah, that's the video I watched, and we followed that for instruction. As I said in an earlier post, it was very nice for me, and although no mystic experience, it did lead on to pretty amazing sex! We did not bother with the rubber gloves (yech!), as that would be a 'safe sex' option I imagine, and we dispensed with the clothes as well! Haven't tried it since that time, though.

     
  7. Persephone

    Persephone New Member

    I have read some of your posts about your partner, and she sounds incredible! She should run select and quite private workshops! Unfortunately, I would have to travel to the other side of the world to benefit from them :-(

     
  8. Persephone

    Persephone New Member

    Your post is interesting and very descriptive. I can relate to some of what you are saying, though the g-spot for me has never been the way I have heard it is for others, and with that 'legs or shoulders' position I seem to lose feeling of the cock altogether :-(. I seem to remember it was much better when I was younger (before having children). But I do wonder if we all have a different definition of what an orgasm is? I experience what you have described with vaginal penetration - utter euphoria etc, extreme physical excitement with swelling and a lot of lubrication, only there is no build up to the explosion of involuntary spasms that I get with the clitoral orgasm. Therefore, I presume it is not an orgasm. And not what my partner seems to be expecting.

     
  9. MatthewM

    MatthewM Member

    She's actually helped a lot of women thru e-mail and message boards like this too. :)

     
  10. Persephone

    Persephone New Member

    It is a year and a half now since I initially posted, so I thought an update might be a good idea. Several people gave very useful suggestions and advice which I really appreciated. The question is, has any progress been made? I suppose the answer is yes, though for all that, I don't know how much closer to a satisfactory Sex life I actually am.

    I have learnt that what I have is called situational anorgasmia. As well as using this forum and my own research, I started up a great email conversation with a good female friend of mine on the topic of our Sex lives, which was extremely helpful. Although we had almost opposite problems, we found that talking about our very different experiences was great for both of us. Through that correspondence, I was able to pinpoint some childhood experiences that I believe now were at the foundation of a basic anxiety about sex, which is probably the root cause of the inability to orgasm with/from a partner. However, I do not know how to move on with this knowledge to remedy the situation.

    I have found that taking something to relax myself before sex can be good, especially with oral sex, but although at the time I can think that I am coming, afterwards the whole event takes on a dreamlike quality, and I think that I probably didn't after all - but I do get very close.

    What I find hard to deal with is the anger I feel that this issue has affected my life so profoundly. At 51 now, most of my sex life is behind me. I am so envious of women who are able to orgasm freely, and I feel cheated. I feel like my partner is ultimately disappointed in the fact that I cannot come through what he does and I think he has given up on trying things that might help, as we have tried so much already. I think about sex so often, it is nearly always on my mind and quite frankly, as a busy professional there are so many other things I should really be focussing on! But I cannot let go of the hope I have of experiencing truly orgasmic sex with another person.

     
  11. Persephone

    Persephone New Member

    It is a year and a half now since I initially posted, so I thought an update might be a good idea. Several people gave very useful suggestions and advice which I really appreciated. The question is, has any progress been made? I suppose the answer is yes, though for all that, I don't know how much closer to a satisfactory Sex life I actually am.

    I have learnt that what I have is called situational anorgasmia. As well as using this forum and my own research, I started up a great email conversation with a good female friend of mine on the topic of our Sex lives, which was extremely helpful. Although we had almost opposite problems, we found that talking about our very different experiences was great for both of us. Through that correspondence, I was able to pinpoint some childhood experiences that I believe now were at the foundation of a basic anxiety about sex, which is probably the root cause of the inability to orgasm with/from a partner. However, I do not know how to move on with this knowledge to remedy the situation.

    I have found that taking something to relax myself before sex can be good, especially with oral sex, but although at the time I can think that I am coming, afterwards the whole event takes on a dreamlike quality, and I think that I probably didn't after all - but I do get very close.

    What I find hard to deal with is the anger I feel that this issue has affected my life so profoundly. At 51 now, most of my sex life is behind me. I am so envious of women who are able to orgasm freely, and I feel cheated. I feel like my partner is ultimately disappointed in the fact that I cannot come through what he does and I think he has given up on trying things that might help, as we have tried so much already. I think about sex so often, it is nearly always on my mind and quite frankly, as a busy professional there are so many other things I should really be focussing on! But I cannot let go of the hope I have of experiencing truly orgasmic sex with another person.

     

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