Toddler Taking you Seriously??

Discussion in 'Babies & Toddlers' started by HWG#2, Jun 30, 2011.

  1. HWG#2

    HWG#2 New Member

    J is just over 2 and SUPER smart. He is the kind of kid who routinely gives me a wicked little smirk to let me know that he knows he's breaking the rules. I work sooo hard at being consistent and try to employ mostly positive discipline techniques, but he just does not take me seriously when I tell him no or get mad. Since a lot of the reason-driven techniques for helping children cope with right or wrong don't seem to have much impact at this age, I am at a loss. When I tell him no, he just grins and keeps doing it. I physically stop him and he smiles and tries again. We've started trying time-out again, but after many the other day I found myself holding him in place otherwise he was rolling away and giggling when I went to get him and set him back down. So, how do I get him to take me seriously? I need him to know that I mean business! It is SOOOOOO frustrating to feel powerless!I realize he will push boundaries, but I need for him to know that mommy will be very angry if he does. Help!!!! Driving me nuts!

     
  2. labby06

    labby06 Active Member

    Sorry I don't have any good advice for you, but I'm interested in what others have to say too! We're in the same boat. Her new thing is climbing over the back of the couch, and one of these days she's going to fall. Whenever I grab her and say no, she laughs and giggles and thinks it's a game. I tried the timeout thing too, full well knowing she wouldn't sit for any amount of time. I usually just grab her, take her to the timeout spot and sit her there and explain to her that she cannot do what she was doing. But she just fights and yells and goes right back to what she was doing as soon as I let her up. It's so very frustrating! As much as I hate to do it, it seems the louder and firmer my voice is the better she seems to listen. That's what worked for us at night anyway when she kept getting out of bed.

     
  3. Juicy-Juls

    Juicy-Juls Active Member

    I dunno if my opinion is going to be a popular one, but when my kids were that young, I would firmly swat them on their but! That would be after trying to talk to them, trying to set them in time out..I would give them 3 chances, after that they got swatted. It didn't take long for them to catch on the one, two, three thing...

    I still use it for my 6 year old. All I have to do is warn him, then I say that's 2, and he usually stops...

    You don't have to spank them hard, just a firm swat and be consistent about the one, two, three concept, and they will catch on and realize you mean business!

     
  4. desertgirl

    desertgirl Active Member

    HWG, Labby, I do the same things you do...then I do the Juls count to 3 thing, and if the behavior isn't changing, she's sent to time out in her room. Not long, anywhere from 30 seconds to 2 minutes or so...it's usually enough to get her to chill out. If she won't stay in her room, I put the doorhandle thingie on, but she's pretty good about time outs and using the time to calm down.

    It is super frustrating, but I hear 3s are WAY WORSE than 2s. Not that that's any consolation!

     
  5. Juicy-Juls

    Juicy-Juls Active Member

    and 17's are way worse than 2's...LMAO... [​IMG]
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 24, 2013

     
  6. desertgirl

    desertgirl Active Member

    haha, I bet!

     
  7. TDG

    TDG New Member

    I also use juls method. There are days they really push the limits(especially B with his mouthyness)...but they take me serious for the most part.

     
  8. desertgirl

    desertgirl Active Member

    I think I read Jul's first post wrong. If P still isn't listening to me after I try redirecting, correcting the behavior, etc., I count to 3, and then send her to her room for time out.

     
  9. Bron

    Bron New Member

    Counting to three works for us almost all the time - probably because my tone of voice when I say it makes her know I mean business and also because I use it when I can control the outcome - like saying get out the bath now 1, 2, 3(if she wont I can just pick her out of it) or get off the couch and if she isn't off by 3 I get her off. There are things though where I cannot make her do something and then it is dangerous to use the 1,2,3 technique. I do smack Laurana sometimes - usually when she has hurt someone or me as that behaviour is just not ok and will not be tolerated - she gets a warning beforehand though.

    With Laurana I found being pregnant made things far worse and harder to control too and had to be a bit lenient with her especially in the first and third trimester as she must have been picking up on my hormones too.

     
  10. HWG#2

    HWG#2 New Member

    Thanks guys. I really appreciate all of the suggestions. It is pretty tough to feel powerless but I also really lean toward positive discipline (not that we haven't had a few swats on the bottom when things get out of hand). The struggle with positive discipline at age 2 is that the only tools at your disposal are distraction and redirection. And lets be honest, that's fine and dandy if that's all you have to do all day, but most of us have other things to accomplish and require SOME level of cooperation from our little people.

    I have kinda set work aside for a few weeks now (at least while I am at home) and really started devoting as much of my time as possible to him. It really seems to be helping as there tends to be fewer incidents of attention-demanding behavior. We are also making a little headway with time-outs. He doesn't seem to mind them, but if you ask if he wants one, he shakes his head "no" and usually stops what he is doing.

    I do think one of the best pieces of advice I have heard was to make sure we get behind the need or feeling that is causing the behavior-that way we can correct it from the root. But I think this might be the hardest thing to do because it requires the most time (in this case, hanging out with him all day on the days I am home and keeping errands to a minimum).

     
  11. Mrs.G

    Mrs.G New Member

    Keep in mind that I do not have children (currently pregnant), HOWEVER, I did have parental rights of a little girl I raised her from 3 days old to 3 years old.

    If she was misbehaving I would attempt to redirect her attention to something positive/something she was allowed to do while explaining what she was doing not allowed. If that did not work she sat in time out! Time out was a designated spot in the corner away from toys, tv all the "fun" stuff. At 2 years old she had to sit there for 1 minute (sometime like 30 seconds per year of the age).

    Rarely ever did she get a swat on the butt, tho the times she did is when she was doing something that could cause serious harm to herself.

    She NEVER got swated for hitting me (which she did that for a short period of time, very brief but I think it's typical for that to take place). The reasoning is that if you swat them for hitting you it reinforces the negative bad behavior and it teaches them that it is okay. You cannot swat your child for hitting you, it's absolutely ridiculous. What does that teach them? Its wrong for you to hit me, but I can hit you and it's okay? Absolutely not!


    Another thing, is time out is never done in the bedroom because it can cause issues when it comes to bedtime. They tend to fight bedtime more because in their mind they are getting punished!

    So, that is what I did and it worked out great. She was very well behaved throughout the 3 years with rarely any issues.
    I plan to implement these very techniques with my child (when it arrives).

    Best of luck, all you can do is be stern, consistent and constant with it. You have to be sure to follow through. Trial and error.

     

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