The Effects of Stopping Birth Control (part 5!!!)

Discussion in 'Archived Discussions' started by Raunchy-Row, Mar 4, 2013.

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  1. EmmyLoo

    EmmyLoo Active Member

    Hey Nicole and girls,

    Sorry i haven't been on here much lately - still flat searching and i spend every weekend with my boyfriend out of the city, so i find it easier to reply when im at my work computer.

    You are still early days - but 3 months off a hormonal BC is better than no days/months! I think another reason I'm not coming back as much is that i really am feeling a lot better. The ROCD thoughts have pretty much gone - I'm still a tiny bit numb, but enthusiasm for things are coming back gradually, and i still get slight anxious at the start of every week. ( probably because I'm still new to my job and am anxious about the week ahead, moving flat doesnt help either!) But taking it all in my stride.

    So i got a refund on that maca as it looked a bit dodgy. But i think my libido is still down like you. So i've read up about these:

    Good value and the brand/company look a bit more legit. So i might buy these along with some cranberry forte (Been taking it since Jan and so far, no UTIs!)

    I am a little nervous that im gonna have a set back and the ROCD thoughts and anxiety will rear its ugly head again - but if it does, i can't see it being as intense as i had at the start of stopping BC. I do think the fact i was only on it for 9 months might be the reason i've had a quicker turn around than most ( i know some of you were on BC for years) All i can say is, is that you DO heal and once the the positive starts to outweigh the negative, the healing/recovery feels ALOT quicker.

    I almost feel bad that I've had a quicker recovery than others, i honestly was expecting to take about a year to feel 100% but i feel it might be quite a bit sooner than that now. I might not be on here as much i was, but i will drop in and out to check on how everyone is doing! I'm still massively relieved and proud that we all found this forum and are able to talk about whats going on openly and with no judgment in order to help the healing process. And i hope i have helped and can continue to help further down the line :) Private message me if you need anything. Sometimes chatting about absolutely nothing is good - don't let the side effects be the only topic of conversation - distraction is key!

    Have a great week everyone!
    EmmyLoo x
    NicoleH989 likes this.

  2. NicoleH989

    NicoleH989 Active Member

    That's amazing news that you're doing great right now! I've fallen into a slump after doing so well for a while there, its an awful feeling to come crashing down like this, the weekend there, there was tears and me feeling so so sad :( I always ignore and distract myself, but then I find myself at work, hating it so it allows me to focus on this feeling more.

    Is there anything you feel like you're doing that helps the most?

    Congrats on your speedy recovery! Don't get nervous with set backs, as Britt says, its a sign of further recovery!

    Keep in touch! xx
    Britt likes this.

  3. EmmyLoo

    EmmyLoo Active Member

    Yeah work was the worst for me because i don't have a really intense job, i found myself thinking about it constantly! But it does get better.

    I don't know whether the mixture of vitamins im taking are helping?
    So i take Vit d3 -
    B6 -
    evening primrose oil -
    cranberry forte -

    I will say i didn't feel immediate results, but ive been taking Vit D3 for over 2 months now, and i really do think that's whats helped me. Especially as i take a high dose of 5000 IUD once a day.

    And of course ill keep in touch - i cant wait to see all the progress you guys make, ill be over the moon!

  4. Shaynes457

    Shaynes457 Active Member

    Had an amazing day yesterday. I was all smiles and happy around my BF. :) we had sex (although I had bad anxiety through most of it - I still had somewhat of a libido). I was so happy afterwards. I couldn't stop smiling and just held onto him and fell asleep in his arms. It felt like something out of a romance movie. I felt this feeling off and on throughout the day. I was numb off and on too because of my anxiety but it makes me happy to see a tiny bit of improvement :)
    Britt likes this.

  5. EmmyLoo

    EmmyLoo Active Member

    That is FANTASTIC news!

    Unfortunately you will get bad moments, but now you have proof that you can have GREAT moments and that they are true, and real and amazing and all your own!

    Well done you, just keep up the healing and recovery!

    Britt likes this.

  6. Breanna

    Breanna Member

    Ladies. What if the birth control is just a mask of love and now that I stopped taking it, I felt out of "love" because of the pill. Could the birth control of made me feel love and in love and happy and now that I'm not on it this is how I am.
    NicoleH989 likes this.

  7. NicoleH989

    NicoleH989 Active Member

    I think this too, but then I read girls posts that have recovered who had the same symptoms as us, so surely not ?

  8. AprilLudgate

    AprilLudgate Active Member

    I loved my bf and before pill,so I don't think so.

  9. AprilLudgate

    AprilLudgate Active Member

    We were 5 months togather before that i decided took a pill.

  10. EmmyLoo

    EmmyLoo Active Member

    If you meet and feel in love before starting the pill then no. But equally if you were already taking the pill, fell in love like you naturally would, then started having these thoughts and feeling then I would say no too.

    Everyone symptoms seemed to be triggered like a bullet; fast and out of nowhere. You didn't gradually start 'not loving' him it came out of nowhere and the side effects made you doubt your own judgment.

    I had a good month or two where I questioned the very same thing: 'Maybe the pill is only masking the true trajectory of my relationship and that ,it is, unfortunately heading to separate ways' - but any time I thought that I would feel horrendous,anxious and really upset, as the last thing I want is to finish with my boyfriend; he's my world. So the fact that the thought of not loving my boyfriend or not being with him upset me so much, I knew it wasn't my own true thoughts or emotions, but the synthetic manifestation trying to convince/trick me and be the bigger force in my head.

    This will go with time, it just gradually fades away until it's nothing, it just right now it's so intense it's feels real and like the truth. But you have to tell yourself it's not.

    If you come out the other side of all this shit, and genuinely feel out of love with your boyfriend, then maybe only then, you'll know that those are the true emotions. Make it to the other side before doing anything brash I would say.

    Hope that helps - you know your true self.
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  11. NicoleH989

    NicoleH989 Active Member

    When I read all the things in your comment regarding the possibility that when I return to normal I may realise I don't love my boyfriend - there was a rush of anxiety in my chest and stomach, it didn't emotionally make me feel sad as I'm quite numb but the fact that it caused anxiety I'm sure means this will not happen to me because I don't want it.

    I remember when my boyfriend had one too many after a night out (he's not good at handling alot of alcohol, he turns into someone else with too much, like extremely cold etc) he told me that it was over, and I believed that it genuinely was, I was absolutely distraught, jumping about trying to do anything and everything in desperation as I just didn't want to imagine life without him...that confirmed it for me that even through this shit, I still wanted to be with him - obviously.

    Yet here I am, I've hit a set back and now I'm in doubt - this HAS to be a set back and it can't have any truth to it as it's making me miserable.

    Emmyloo, as always thank you for replying you really help settle me when I'm at my worst xx

  12. missbliss

    missbliss Active Member

    Hi ladies!

    I'm in Hawaii and so far the trip has been great. I've had anxiety here and there but I've been dealing with it quite well. Except for this one boyfriend and I had sex (despite some anxiety on my part), since I'm not on bcp we've just been really careful...except this time was a "close call" he almost pulled out too late. He told me he's almost positive he didn't go a bit inside me, but I'm not sure. It's just freaking me out bc I'm supposed to be ovulating starting about tomorrow. I'm thinking about taking the plan b pill but I'm terrified about whether it might give me anxiety or depressive side effects which would be a horrific nightmare to deal with on this trip and depression is a very common side effect of that pill. I really don't want to take it unless I have to. My bf thinks I'm fine and that at first he was unsure but the more he thinks about it the more he's "100% confident" he didn't go inside a little. Have any of you taken it recently? I took it before a few years ago but this was before my sensibility to anxiety and low moods. Am I ok to just not take it? What should I do???!!! Ughhhh x
    Last edited: May 11, 2015
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  13. Joss

    Joss Active Member

    Hey everyone,
    I've been doing alright the past week, just hitting a setback now (I should be getting my period soon), and I've got a little ROCD happening again. I'm mostly worried that my bf and I aren't sexually compatible. We never really had time to figure it out (well, I didn't) before all of this stuff happened since it was the beginning of our I have little to no libido and everytime I think about it with him I get those icky feelings. I know that I love him deeply as a person and that I don't want to break up with him...I'm just so tired of feeling like this and can't tell what's real and what's not anymore. :(
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  14. Britt

    Britt Well-Known Member

    I took it before the pill too and I think I was okay. you been off the pill for a while now even thou you are still healing it might mess with your hormones a little but I rather be safe then sorry !!!!! I say just take it... that's your call! if he's really confident and you are too then your okay. if either of you are questioning it then just take it.

    hope you are having fun xoxoxo enjoy enjoy enjoy and relax leAve the bad times home girl !!!!!! your in a new atmosphere. come back on as needed on the trip ... we are always here
    missbliss likes this.

  15. NicoleH989

    NicoleH989 Active Member


    I'm the exact same, it's very hard differentiating what is real and what is not - the untrue is really, really convincing isn't it?

    I'm glad you are able to have the good times as well as these set backs, as it lets you see that you are improving - when you're feeling alright, how do you actually feel? When I'm alright, I don't actually realise it, I get on with life, and generally don't think of this forum (as much as I love and appreciate you all) I just feel like I'm holding it together quite well by myself, I feel slightly lighter, that I'm not carrying around a tonne of dread, but then I reach a set back - like now - and that is when I realise that I'm not doing so well and that I had been doing alright - does that make sense?

    My libido is extremely poor, me and my boyfriend could never make it through any movie, or tv programme without ditching it - TMI - nowadays sex is the one thing that is furthest from my mind, I just cannot be bothered - I also thing using condoms are a HUGE turn off and we don't feel quite as intimate as before which majorly sucks.

    I'm exhausted, drained and beyond bored of this, when, when, when does it get better? I'm only 3 months off and as Emmyloo says 3 months off is progress as it's better than 3 months on it! IBelieveInUs posted not so long ago, about how she was doing and it gives me the greatest amount of hope, as her story matches mine to a T - she gives me confidence that even if this is with us girls for the next year or so, it does get easier and that time is the best healer.

    I'm due my period this week, this really should be my second proper cycle since coming off, so here is hoping this is just a hormonal build up that has caused this set back, and that we will be feeling much lighter, fresher and clearer headed afterwards!

    You're doing amazing, you don't realise just how strong you are right now, but I assure you and all the girls here, this can only shape us girls into being stronger, humble and wonderful human beings - we've been dealt our shitty stick, lets hope we never cross something like this ever again!

    Much Love


    EmmyLoo likes this.

  16. Shaynes457

    Shaynes457 Active Member

    My good days are over :( had a panic attack on Sunday and have just felt weird since then. Having bad depersonalization/emotional detachment since then. When does this go away? :( I've read that DP can last for months or even years? I'm probably just scaring myself by reading stuff on the Internet..
    Last edited: May 12, 2015

  17. Britt

    Britt Well-Known Member

    mine subsided yours will too... just don't focus on it just go about your day and be you xo

    I promise you will be arite even if it don't feel like it in the moment !

  18. NicoleH989

    NicoleH989 Active Member

    DP will only last for years if you let it, you have to distract yourself, but negativity will get you nowhere either, you have to put a positive spin on everything..

    Feeling bad? Having a set back? Look at the positive side, every time you pull through it you'll feel even better, every single time this happens you must not fear it, you have to just let it be. Positive daily affirmations will allow your subconscious mind to be retrained with positivity, right now all it knows is negativity, you have to teach it that positivity.

    Stop googling things also, it doesn't help one bit, if you have any questions ask us girls, I googled daily, all day during January until I found this page, and boy I feel so so much better not doing it, sometimes a girl will bring up something that I've never heard of before on here, and BOOM anxiety, so think about how much anxiety all these webpages are bringing you.

    You have to not try so hard to get better, you have to do everything lightly, easy does it, there is no rush, you have a whole life ahead of you, you're putting too much stress on your body by pushing it.

    Keep fighting, but not too hard :) xx
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  19. EmmyLoo

    EmmyLoo Active Member

    Funny story guys,

    I watched Fifty Shades of Grey last night for the first time, and theres a scene in it where they're going through the contract so this Grey guy can do all this silly S&M stuff... well yeah whatever,

    But in this scene, one of the clauses is: You must see your gynecologist and start oral contraception immediately. I Burst out laughing and thought - ' Good luck getting her aroused for the next few months mate, shes gonna dry up like a prune once she starts it!'

    It just made me think, in a way, we're lucky that the side effects happened whether it was 2 week down the line or 10 years. Your body reacted and you STOPPED taking them. You're a strong, wise woman for quitting them and there really isn't a time frame on when you'll be 'fully' recovered. That really shouldn't be your main focus. This is a marathon not a sprint Focus on day to day things, you need to live a normal life. Don't let it evade the day to day - you have to keep those things in life as normal as possible.

    For instance, i feel a bit 'meh' today. Bit numb towards things, feeling distant from my relationship, but hey, ive had a solid few weeks of feeling great so i just tell myself - 'Was due a bad day/week. Thats cool, means im moving in the right direction'

    You really have to put a positive spin on things like Nicole said, and really REALLY don't google anything. The internet is full of crap the majority of the time and whats happening is happening to YOU, don't go on everything you read online, its your own personal experience that matters.

    have a great days girls! keep at it, one normal day at a time.
    ja13 and NicoleH989 like this.

  20. NicoleH989

    NicoleH989 Active Member

    “It’s dark because you are trying too hard.
    Lightly child, lightly. Learn to do everything lightly.
    Yes, feel lightly even though you’re feeling deeply.
    Just lightly let things happen and lightly cope with them.

    I was so preposterously serious in those days, such a humorless little prig.
    Lightly, lightly – it’s the best advice ever given me.
    When it comes to dying even. Nothing ponderous, or portentous, or emphatic.
    No rhetoric, no tremolos,
    no self conscious persona putting on its celebrated imitation of Christ or Little Nell.
    And of course, no theology, no metaphysics.
    Just the fact of dying and the fact of the clear light.

    So throw away your baggage and go forward.
    There are quicksands all about you, sucking at your feet,
    trying to suck you down into fear and self-pity and despair.
    That’s why you must walk so lightly.
    Lightly my darling,
    on tiptoes and no luggage,
    not even a sponge bag,
    completely unencumbered.”
    Aldous Huxley, Island
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