The Effects of Stopping Birth Control (part 3!).

Discussion in 'Archived Discussions' started by Raunchy-Row, Nov 21, 2011.

  1. IBelieveInUs

    IBelieveInUs Active Member

    That's a good idea, Pink Leopard. Our minds are temporarily "sick" (for lack of a better word). I'm trying to think of this ordeal more and more as a temporary illness lately. It's like when you have the flu and you feel like you're never going to get better and you forget what you felt like pre-flu. But, like the flu, you eventually get back to your normal self. And until then, we can't take our brain too seriously. It is literally misfiring and sending us false information. Sometimes reminding myself of all of this during my bad days provides me a momentary sense of relief. The relief may only last a second but it's something I can hold onto to ride out the setback. Down periods are so hard. The thoughts consume me during them. It's like my mind literally rejects almost everything about my boyfriend during them. They're so hard to get through because they feel so real and permanent. But sure enough, the setback ends every time and the good days start again. Now I'm in one of my good periods. During those periods it's easier to see that this is OCD/anxiety and it's also easy to see how much progress I have made in recovering over the months. I am slowly but surely getting better despite the bi-monthly setbacks. I have to remember that.

  2. Evanessa

    Evanessa Member

    Hi Ladies,

    As always it is great to hear from you all. I hope you feel better:)

    I am ok, less anxiety and thoughts but I still have the same problem with my feeling. I cant' wait to feel love again. When my Bf tells me something cute, I know this is cute but I can't feel love [​IMG] I just know that I should feel love and emotion when I hear his words.

    But I will keep faith, it's been 11 months for me, soon it will be a year. I pray for us all to be 100% ourselves soon, and most of all to be able to love and feel like we did before all this hormonal crap. Take care ! We are srong and we will make it.

  3. SLynn17

    SLynn17 Member

    Congrats on not being preggers, PinkLeopard!!! I have the same exact fear that all you have - that I will suffer with postpartum depression, and therefore am kind of terrified of having children. At first, if I even saw a baby my anxiety would go crazy, but lately I've been ok seeing babies and I think I'm slowly getting back to the baby-loving lady I used to be.

    IBelieveInUs: I'm so glad you're feeling better! I know those rough patches are the worst, but you always come out of them. I just wish it were easier to convince ourselves of that during the rough patches!

    I've been feeling pretty good! Except for the anxiety while driving, I've been feeling pretty much back to normal. I don't really have the OCD thoughts anymore and if I do have one, or if I let myself remember the hell I want through, I can easily just tell myself to chill out and switch topics in my head. The only thing I've been struggling with is the driving, which in turn produces some physical anxiety. I think the colostrum is doing some good!

    Speaking of the colostrum, I bought the powder kind and you're supposed to mix it with water and drink it... only problem is this stuff is literally waterproof. I can't mix it AT ALL. So basically I just have to chug down powder and follow it with water, which sucks. So my mom had this thing that allows you to make your own capsule pills, so I just made a whole bunch of colostrum pills. It was a lot of work, but way better than chugging powder. I think once I'm out of this stuff I'll be looking for ones that come in a capsule/pill form already!

    Here's what I purchased: and here's the same brand already put into capsules that I will be buying next time...

  4. IBelieveInUs

    IBelieveInUs Active Member

    Glad you're feeling better, Sierra!

    Evanessa: I know what you mean. I feel numb about everything. I was just thinking this morning that I can't get excited about anything anymore. Even Thanksgiving tomorrow. I'm usually excited to spend the day with family and watch football. I'm not even remotely excited about it. Speaking of football, I *love* sports. Since bcp, I barely get excited about or even follow my favorite teams. I'm just so damn numb and it sucks. My OCD tries to convince me that I'm numb to everything because I'm in denial about my relationship and by forcing myself to stay with someone who makes me unhappy that I've become depressed and it has taken the joy out of everything. This is pretty condulded but it's what my anxiety tries to convince me of. Meanwhile, my boyfriend is pretty much the only thing that ever gets through to me and makes me happy. Since bcp, I'm never excited or happy about anything. The only person who can get through to me is my boyfriend. I'll feel the love randomly or I'll get a wave of excitement about living together, etc. No one else and nothing else ever gets through to me and excites me anymore. And yet, my mind tries to convince me that my boyfriend is the problem and is causing my depression. Pretty ridiculous!

    I'm having a bit of a setback today. My boyfriend and I had a slight disagreement this morning and it instantly brought the thoughts/anxiety back. Now my walls are back up and I'm having trouble letting them back down and letting him in. I hate when the thoughts come back [​IMG]

  5. Evanessa

    Evanessa Member

    thanks for your words Ibelieve in us. Don't worry you are definitely not alone.

    Happy to hear you feel better sierra!

    And yes I think I will never be able to have a baby one day, I don't want to have one now, but I used to think that maybe one day I would have my own children.

    But now I am really scared of post partum depression, because we lived the same thing!

  6. PinkLeopard

    PinkLeopard New Member

    IBelieveInUs: It's true, our brains are absolutely misfiring and that produces feelings that are false to go with it. It really sucks. I've been doing really well lately, but there are moments where I feel icky and the thoughts come back a bit. It really sucks but it's nowhere near how it used to be and I'm SO grateful for that.

    Sierra: I'm definitely going to order the colostrum capsules that you are taking. It sounds like they're definitely working for you. If these thoughts went away I'd probably be 95% healed.

    I am doing great with my boyfriend, really enjoying him and laughing etc, the thoughts try to creep in and freak me out, and sometimes they will for literally a minute or two and then I come back to my senses and just shrug them off or laugh at them, because they truly are SO ridiculous. We were watching TV in bed last night and I suddenly got this flutter in my chest that caused me to be short of breath, and because of that my breathing got really heavy for a few minutes. It was so scary but it didn't last long. I'm sure that's just another affect from the pill. What isn't?! Has anyone experienced anything like that?

    Happy Thanksgiving to the US'ers out there [​IMG]

  7. PinkLeopard

    PinkLeopard New Member

    I just came across a quote that fits us all PERFECTLY: "Don't think too much. You'll create a problem that wasn't even there in the first place."

    I have one more:

    "Worry is a waste of time. It doesn't change anything. All it does is taint your mind and steals your joy."

    Love them both!

  8. erika1234

    erika1234 New Member

    good quotes pink leopard [​IMG]

  9. IBelieveInUs

    IBelieveInUs Active Member

    Pink Leopard: I'm glad you're feeling better overall. And those quotes -- especially the first one -- were perfect. Are you still drinking the detox tea? I've been drinking two bags a day. I'm breaking out a lot. More than I ever have before. Not sure if it's a coincidence or not. Maybe the toxins are getting out of my body. Who knows? The last two weeks have been really tough on me. I just don't understand what happened. I was doing so much better. I felt like I was finally on my way to recovery. More good days than bad for awhile. But the last two weeks have been tough. All of last week was bad. The weekend was better and I had good days from Sunday-Tuesday but then I had another bad day yesterday. I just don't understand what happened. I had been doing so well. This is so frustrating.

  10. IBelieveInUs

    IBelieveInUs Active Member

    ps: happy thanksgiving everyone in the US [​IMG] i'm thankful for my boyfriend who has been so beyond supportive over the last horrible almost 8 months now. he's my rock and our relationship wouldn't have survived without him. i love that i can share every horrible OCD thought with him and he doesn't flinch or believe any of them. i love that he never doubts my love for him, even when i do. he knows i love him (and tells me so every day) and that's what i hold onto. i'm also thankful for this forum and for the support that you ladies give me! enjoy the day (and don't kill your families)! [​IMG]

  11. Larissa

    Larissa Member

    Happy Thanksgiving all!

    IBelieveInUs-You sound very lucky to have such a guy in your life! Thank you for sharing those thoughts. They are a good reminder to me of what I have to be happy about too. [​IMG]

    I was pondering what you said about feeling a bit worse lately when you thought you were steadily improving...and wondered when did you start to take the detox tea? Was it around the same time that you started to feel bad again? The reason I ask is, it seems plausible to me that a detox tea may have the ability to release synthetic hormones from wherever they may be hiding out in the body, thus releasing them into your system again and triggering the effects you've been feeling. This may explain the acne and the shifts in mood. Has anyone had experience with this? Perhaps it is a necessary step to getting them out of your system once and for all? In which case, it wouldn't really be a set back, just another step in the cleansing process...

    I hope everyone continues to feel better!


  12. IBelieveInUs

    IBelieveInUs Active Member

    Thanks, Larissa! I do have a really great guy and that's why this whole bcp mess really hurts me. I've felt heartbroken during this whole ordeal. I'm just constantly sad and anxious.

    As for the detox tea, I was wondering that too. My face is really breaking out like it never has before. It seems I have a new pimple every morning. And the only real good day that I've had in the two weeks that I've started the tea was the day that I didn't drink the tea. I hope it's a sign that the synthetic hormones are being released. I'm really scared that I'm having such a long setback. It feels like I've fallen all the way back to square one. I'm an emotional wreck and crying a lot which is something that I had really improved on prior to these two weeks. The thoughts feel super real again and I have much fewer moments of clarity. I feel emotionally numb again and I can't feel the love for my boyfriend at all again. Thinking of seeing him tomorrow and moving in with him next month is all of a sudden making me anxious [​IMG] I just want this to go away! [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]

  13. SLynn17

    SLynn17 Member

    IBelieveInUs: sorry you're having a hard time... But I agree with Larissa that the detox teas could be causing this by releasing all the toxins. It sucks now but I'm sure it will be better in the long run. Gotta get all this crap out of our system!

    PinkLeopard: it's like you wrote a page from my diary! A couple months ago I had the exact same thing happen while watching TV in bed with my husband. Just all of a sudden my heart beat really hard and it made me sort of dizzy for like two seconds and then caused me to breathe weird and my anxiety skyrocketed! Of course I googled my ass off right after it happened... Making the anxiety worse lol... it was just a heart palpitation caused by anxiety and our stupid hormones! Oh and I'm glad you're going to try the colostrum! I hope it works for you [​IMG]

    I've been feeling really good still... like almost back to normal with just a little anxiety here and there. I'm actually kind of shocked! I feel like i have more energy too which i could definitely use! One thing I've been having for a while that I'm not sure I've mentioned is almost every morning my rib cage is extremely sore and tight and it hurts to take deep breaths the first couple times and then I'm fine the rest of the day. I think it's just some physical anxiety because I've noticed that when I have alcohol it doesn't happen the next morning... And also if I'm super relaxed it doesn't happen. Has anyone else experienced this?

  14. Evanessa

    Evanessa Member

    IBelieveInUs: I know it is hard to wait again and again. But remember long setbacks don't mean that you will not feel better. I had a lot of times when I felt back to square one, and I know how it feels, like it is never ending. But it will pass!

    Sierra: I really have too much energy around ovulation, and heart palpitation too. That's when I also feel shakey. I guess it can come from hormones but also from anxiety. But when I have a heart palpitation out ofnowhere, like when I am relaxing in my bed I am pretty sure it is caused by hormones.
    And my rib cage is aching too! It hurts when I breathe deeply (sometimes when I move), sometimes, I am not sure it comes frome anxiety because I have noticed that around ovulation and period my muscles are sore, like in my left arm for instance so maybe it is the same with our Intercostal muscles and maybe that's why it hurts when we breathe.

  15. IBelieveInUs

    IBelieveInUs Active Member

    Thanks, everyone! I hope that it's the toxins/synthetic hormones being released because I really feel miserable. I feel numb to my love. I usually can feel the love, even in my worst moments, when I'm looking at him or kissing him. Now everything just feels so numb. And I feel irritated by my boyfriend. I feel no connection. It's really miserable. I'd kill for a good day to bring me back to my senses. It's been a really tough two weeks. And I've been drinking the detox tea for two weeks. That can't be a coincidence. And my vivid dreams, inability to sleep, and acne can't be a coincidence either. I don't mind the suffering now if it's for a long term gain. I just hope it is.

  16. Larissa

    Larissa Member

    Wow, thanks for mentioning the chest pain Sierra! I recently had that too! One morning I woke up at 5 am because it hurt to breathe. I was in pain all day and a bit into the next and then it was gone. It was all I could do all day just to get in oxygen! My ribs and chest hurt front and back. And I couldn't figure what caused it, a pulled muscle maybe, but I couldn't think of when I'd have hurt myself. I considered I was about to get a massive lung disease, but I never had to cough. I didn't consider that it might be hormonal. Looking back I see that I was past ovulation, but not quite to the spotting that seems to start several days before my period. I have been very fortunate in not having anxiety from the hormones, but I have been stressed with many things lately so maybe it was an anxiety thing like you said? Instead of having it every morning though it was just for that one day.

    And the acne seems to be increasing. I feel like a teenager again! And I don't mean that in a good way. Ha ha.

    IBelieveinUs- I sure hope that your body finishes detoxing soon! That sounds simply awful what you're going through. In spite of that, I can't help but feel like you've found an effective cleansing method. I'm still having acne and excessive spotting, and watery periods (and last time I tried pain during intercourse). Also my cervical fluid has been very sparse (sorry to get graphic ladies, but tracking my cycle leads me to notice this). While none of these things are very serious, I am anxious to get my body cleaned out and back to normal as soon as possible. I'd like to try the tea. Would you mind telling me what the tea is called?


  17. Raunchy-Row

    Raunchy-Row Super Moderator Staff Member

    You guys are amazing! Almost 800 posts! While I'm on a real computer and can easily manage the topic I'm going to lock it and start a new thread. This one will stay here for a few days and then be moved to the archives. Keep up the awesome work!


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