Sometimes I feel so bad about myself and my weight

Discussion in 'Dieting and Weight' started by lucyelizabethann, Jun 10, 2012.

  1. lucyelizabethann

    lucyelizabethann New Member

    Hi everyone...

    I'm so lost and depressed, and I hope the wonderful men and women of this forum could help me or guide me. I could sure use guidance. I went on depo provera last June and it made me crazy so I went off it in February. It's now totally out of my system (thank God) but I have gained a whopping 50 pounds since I started it. I can't prove that all that weight is due to depo, probably some of it was stress weight as my life had many hardships this last years. However, I saw I was gaining weight and went on a diet (this was back in August or September, 2011) and I got a personal trainer to work with twice a week, did spinning class twice a week, was working out 5-6 times a week for 1-2 hours a day. I was dieting, did Atkins for awhile...lost a little, gained it back... I've tried diet pills, nothing worked.

    I went to my doctor, told her everything. She didn't believe me. I could tell. That was incredible frustrating. My personal trainer didn't believe me either, thought I was sitting around eating junk food, and I kept GAINING AND GAINING over the course of these months til now. Nothing I do seems to work, the scale won't budge... I try so hard and nothing comes of it. When I try for awhile and get nothing, I get so depressed that I crash off of my diet/exercise for awhile and eat some junk food, regular carbs...but not a gross amount, just a bit, like a normal person eating.

    Here goes... I am 5'10" and 250lbs. I don't look morbidly obese, esp since I'm tall. But I hate how I look and I was never this heavy. I'd love to be 160lbs, but I look great at 180lbs too. It just seems like such an impossible feat, and NO ONE seems to believe how hard I'm trying. I'm really depressed about it. I feel so self-conscious and like people are always judging me (and sometimes they are). My sister eats whatever and doesn't exercise and it beautiful and trim. I'm so jealous. I feel like life has to be more than this.

    I just don't know what to do. I hate that no one seems to understand why I'm so upset or have any real advise. I'm willing to do or try anything under the sun (feels like I already have) if it could work. I mean, even my own doctor won't believe me! I'm only 24, never had any kids...what will life be like after I have children? Am I destined to be 300lbs someday???

    I'm just so depress. Please, someone help me.

  2. Raunchy-Row

    Raunchy-Row Super Moderator Staff Member

    I think you need to find a new doctor. Has she had your thyroid tested? Has she tested you for PCOS? Maybe start there. And chin up! I'm six feet talk and right now I weigh 310lbs. I've been as low as 195 but a combination of bad habits, birth control pills--which also made me crazy!--and hypothyroid/PCOS have made it really hard to find and maintain my ideal weight.

    The best advice I have is to fight for your health, find a doc who will listen and support you, educate yourself about things you can do on your own and ways in which you can develop the healthiest habits possible. Keep coming back and let us know how you're doing!

  3. TDG

    TDG New Member

    I would make sure to get your thyroid tested! I went several years where I worked out all the time and dieted and kept gaining. It got so bad I even stopped eating for several weeks and ran constantly and STILL gained. It does make you feel HORRIBLE when everyone looks at you like you must be binge eating when youre alone or something. Im hypothyroid and even tho Im on meds its still difficult to lose and easier than it should be to gain...but its MUCH better. At least if I work hard I can see a slow improvement. 4 pregnancies in 5 years hasnt helped but now I feel like there is hope to get my old weight back when Im done having kids. Any decent dr would have done the blood work to check for hypothyroid but if yours didnt...have it done!

  4. lucyelizabethann

    lucyelizabethann New Member

    Hi ladies, thanks for the reply.
    I just wanted to say first that I had gone to the doctor, and she didn't seem to believe me when I told her what was going on, but she DID do blood work, because I specifically asked for it. When I went back for the follow up, the nurse told me I had no thyroid problems AND I was in perfect health besides the fact that I gained all this friggin weight. So that is good, and I should be positive... but this weight thing isn't a thyroid problem.

    Also, yes, when I workout, I workout hard. In the past several months I've done weight lifting, cardio (running, eliptical, rowing, etc). I think I've been giving it my all. What I can say is that I might be eating too little - eat don't eat much at all, partly from habit and partly because, despite the fact that I'm "fat" I just don't eat that much.

    I will try to look into the kick boxing. I think there's a place near me but I'm away for the summer, so I'll have to try it.

    I will keep you posted. I hope I can do it... it just seem so hard and impossible for me sometimes. I am not giving up!

  5. Raunchy-Row

    Raunchy-Row Super Moderator Staff Member

    Did they check for PCOS? Now that I've been diagnosed I think everyone has it [​IMG]

  6. OlderMan

    OlderMan Member

    I love kickboxing! I did Muay Thai for awhile and although it can be brutal, it was the best workout ever.

    There are gyms that go more for cardio and there are gyms that train hardcore MMA cage fighters. Find one that fits you and your goals but don't be afraid to engage in some contact, whether light or full.

    As Tracy said, hitting people can be very therapeutic. [​IMG]

    I have been using an iPhone app for the past six months called myfitnesspal that is great for keeping track of calories and workouts. It's easy and it connects to the web. It gives you a sense of accomplishment to enter data and its database is 1.5 million huge - search for "Subway 6 in tuna" and it will know exactly what's in it and add it to your daily intake. Using it will teach you awareness of everything that goes into your mouth. Try it, it's a free app. My wife and I are hooked and we've lost 15 lbs each in the past four months.

  7. Temptress Tally

    Temptress Tally Super Moderator Staff Member

    My boyfriend says the same, while he was living in Thailand he did Muay Thai and got really fit, so now he's looking for a local gym that offers it as he's gained a bit again.

    OT In Thailand I went to a few Muay Thai fights and it was fascinating watching the fighters move to the rhythm of the traditional music that plays at these fights.

  8. lucyelizabethann

    lucyelizabethann New Member

    Thanks everyone. When I get home, I will look into the kickboxing. There is an MMA near where I live. I'm always a little afraid of boxing...don't want to be hit. Yes, I'm a little girl. [​IMG]

  9. RW.0

    RW.0 New Member

    OK ...first
    I am not sure about type of diet you went on, (you mentioned Atkins).
    Most people just don't diet correctly.
    People gain weight for ONE reason only. High calories intake. This changes from person to person. There is no ONE-SIZE-FITS-ALL.

    Usually cleaning up your diet would greatly help you to loose weight.
    Stop eating from regular size plates. Just eat from a fruit plate which is bout 8 inches or go smaller if you can. This is what I suggest my clients.
    It is not necessary to eat every three hrs. That is an old wife tale...and it works only when you are highly disciplined.

    As for the PT and how long you were doing your workouts. Length time wise means nothing. So if you are walking on a tread mill for 2 hr vs running for 45 min at 8 min pace, (which considering your weight I would say could be challenging) you are going to use up more calories than the walking.
    Most PT also make their clients, especially females workout very easy with light weights. What I am saying is that both in cardio and weights the intensity is VERY important to see results.

    This is how you figure out your pacing to loose weight, if you can talk comfortably when exercising you are NOT working out enough.

  10. AnnaM

    AnnaM Member

    Are you just gaining weight, ie is the fat turning to muscle and thus you'll be heavier or are you gaining size as well? I am no expert on weight loss, or the science of physical exercise. I heard from a Dr who is an expert in eating disorders that one of the troubles they have when trying to get the patients to gain weight and it works the other way, is that the brain has like a weight set point. So say you lost (sorry I have to work in kgs here) significant weight, say 20 kgs and you were doing all the right things, eating the right foods etc, your body would take about 6 months to reset the healthy body weight and recognise it. This is why, the Dr was saying that when you try to lose weight the body doesn't recognise it and the dieter's weight yoyos back and forwards. I dunno if that is any help....

  11. oceanwild

    oceanwild New Member

    well. doing sports is a good activity to improve your mood. and take the supp 5htp. It will help you sleep better. just be happy. good luck .


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