Sex & Domination

Discussion in 'Female Sexuality' started by Guest, Mar 7, 2006.

  1. Guest

    Guest Guest

    How would you feel if your SO grabbed you, restrained you somehow, got you wet/hard and "took" you? Has anyone had this fantasy? Has anyone actually had their SO do it? Would you be totally freaked out if your SO tried this? Why would you or would you not like this?
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  2. shaggy5150

    shaggy5150 New Member

    I would love it-I am a man. Never had it happen, but I would LOVE it! I do have fantasies about being dominated.

     
  3. Moirae

    Moirae New Member

    Never had that happen. I told him to try it once and we'll see if I like it. Too bad he's 2000 miles away and we haven't had a chance to try that just yet.

     
  4. StLGaL

    StLGaL New Member

    I would like it, I like be dominated in the bedroom lol, I mean Im not into the whole S&M thing but I like the man to take control, it's hot to see how turned on they are.

     
  5. Cricket

    Cricket New Member

    I've had it happen before (not by my husband) and I LOVED it. It's one of the best memories I have.

     
  6. sacrebleu

    sacrebleu New Member

    I used to date aggressive girls. It's really hot when a woman cannot contain herself and insists on taking you. I've never been "dominated", it's kind of hard to dominate somebody my size, and any other way would seem contrived and "gentle", so it really is hard for me to get a good bearing to answer your question.
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  7. Moirae

    Moirae New Member

    I'd freak out at the handcuffs. I'd be bawling in terror. It's one thing to be held down by someone you love and another thing to be tied down by cold metal.

    I have a fear of being confined. It makes me terrified.

     
  8. Moirae

    Moirae New Member

    So long as I could slip my hands out whenever I wanted to and it didn't hurt, sure.

    I'm one of those people that can't give up control to another person.

    I'm not a submissive, I'm a dominant. I can pretend, and possibly have fun doing it, so long as I have the complete ability to stop it whenever I want (that doesn't rely on the other person actually listening to what I'm saying, but only on myself).

     
  9. snowbits6

    snowbits6 New Member

    One of the things I have always loved about my SO is his ability to surprise the hell out of me. Surprise can be the best tactic to really get you in the mood. For example....one of the things my SO does quite often (maybe once a week) is....while i'm sitting on the couch watching the news, or sitting at my computer typing away, or making food...whatever the case may be....he will come from out of no where with this big goofy grin on his face, pick me up (newlywed style) and carry my to the bed. I must admit that even though it sounds a little cliché, this sneak attach always gets me in the mood and when I ask him what strikes this sudden urge he always replies "just started thinking about that great night we had, or the first time we ever did, or when you wore that such and such." He is A LOT bigger than I am strength and height wise so lifting me is like picking up the cat. It doesn't work for everyone but guys...I would say give it try and remember..it's a sneak attach so make it come from out of no where!!
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  10. sacrebleu

    sacrebleu New Member

    That might work, though I really don't like being constrained per se. Just not my thing. I'd probably break the beadpost/headboard that the handcuffs were on before I realized it was all in "play" if I woke up in handcuffs. If I realized soon enough before I destroyed the bed, then yeah, I can see where it could be fun.
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  11. Indigo

    Indigo New Member

    My husband's does this. Especially if either of us has been out of town for a few days. I love it because its him. Also, I don't need foreplay so he loves the reaction.

     
  12. Jamal

    Jamal New Member

    I have had a great deal of experience with SMBD type relations and very much enjoy them. That said, I think it is extremely ill-advised for someone to simply grab a significant other and restrain them.

    While, granted, it kills the spontaneity a bit, my opinion is that nobody should be restraining anybody until they know that that person likes the idea of being restrained--you can work up to this in ways that don't require asking straight out before heading down that road, but just jumping into this could simply constitute rape, rather than resulting in an enjoyable time being had by all.

    There was a relatively well publicized case in Britain where a fellow and his wife had apparently shared fantasies about her being restrained and gang-banged on many occasions. So, one night while out at the local pub with friends, he took it upon himself to initiate such an event for real. He showed up at home with two or three other guys--who he'd told already that she might resist, but that was just how she liked it--and proceded to essentially gang rape his wife. His reward was criminal prosecution at his wife's inititive. Seems that he failed to understand that her enjoyment of these fantasies didn't constitute an invitation to bring his friends home and force himself on her.

    Anyway, I think this sort of thing (dominance/submission play) can be very rewarding to both (all) involved, but I think it is wise to have some dialogue before jumping into it.

     
  13. chilliebeanie

    chilliebeanie New Member

    What a terrible thing to have happened!

    As far as the restraining and having his way with me...that has always been one of my secret fantasies. I love it when he takes initiative and uses a bit of force, he doesn't do it enough as far as I'm concerned. I like the thought of him being so turned on that he loses control and steps out the "norm".
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  14. MissInformed

    MissInformed New Member

    Mmm.. biggest fantasy right there. Maybe from all the romance novels I read when I was younger. I love it because of the look in his eyes when he overpowers me and takes me on the spot. I love it because it makes me feel sexy. It makes me feel wanted. Which on it's own is an incredibly big turn on. As far as restraining me goes, not crazy about handcuffs, but the other night while we were making out I ripped his belt off and forced him to bind my hands together. Near the end I couldn't take not touching him anymore and ripped my hands out. Just that little added prop propelled me over the edge. I repaid him by totally dominating him, which personally I think he just laughs at since im 5' nothing and all of 105 lbs, but he went along with it. Even though he doesn't buy for a second that I could actually overpower him, I think he likes it when I do that 1)because it gives him the night off and 2)for the same reasons I like him doing it to me. What he doesn't know is that it's an incredibly big turn on for me to dominate him. I love power:) I definitely think the right mix between domination and restraint makes for an unforgetable night, as long as both couples actually know what the other wants before hand. I would hate to wake up naked and handcuffed to bed. Where as he would think he'd died and gone to heaven. At least we know that much!

     
  15. luvmylife

    luvmylife New Member

    I prefer to dominate than be dominated. No handcuffs but plenty of silk scarves, and no, he cant slip his hands out, no point IMO.
    Its a great fantasy "lived out"

    Dont think I could whip him though , and I never anounce whats going to happen, the element of surprise is what really does it!
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  16. wickedwahine

    wickedwahine New Member

    i must say i go with the pro side of this one. i very much enjoy being dominated but not to the extent of freaky weird masks and stuff. but the whole part of my man owning and claiming me for his own is a huge turn on. we have done it and thoroughly enjoy it. we dont do it every time we have sex but yeah when he comes up unexpected and grabs me and well..... u all know lol. [​IMG]

    aloha

     
  17. Guest

    Guest Guest

    I am in a dom/sub relationship. He is very aggressive but never violent. I am told what "scene" will be played out and then I submit to it. Sometimes it is great, other tmes it is work, either way I get pleasure from his pleasure.
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  18. Guest

    Guest Guest

    Well, I worked with this man and he always was the kind of guy that seemed to have that strange kind of magnetism. Very confident, good looking and whenever we would talk he was always dominant yet not intimidating. Great teacher and consistent. When I left for another job he called me and asked me out. At that time he told me about the lifestyle and that he was looking to have another sub and was very interested in having me. The draw was amazing, I can't explain it but it was an immediate reaction by me. I had the opportunity to ask a lot of questions and then explain what my absolute boundaries would be. He is still training me. I submit to everything he tells me at anytime. Within my boundaires, no sharing with other doms, threesomes etc. He will select the "scene" and I will do as I am told. What I wear and do etc. He does not tell me what to wear otherwise only no underpants ever, always stockings & garters..skirts and button blouses and always very feminine. Always high heels and hair and makeup done. Basically, I need to be always "ready" and available to him. Always clean. My free time is my own, that is when he is working or out of town but our circle of friends are all Masters and subs so it is the lifestyle always. I live with my Master and we are alone, but he has other sub relationships. I did not know I was a sub and certainly was the type that claimed womens rights and all that. He definately aroused this need in me and it is fulfilling for me. My training follows the basic slave rules, but lucky for me he is not masochist or in to piercing. He did put his mark on me, this is in place of a collar since his work is very conservative and when we are in public it would not look good. A good sub always protects the lifestyle from people who do not understand it. Of course I am always subject to the whip when I need discipline.
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  19. Jamal

    Jamal New Member

    Liz22, I'm curious what constitutes normal "slave" behavior to you. I've known women in submissive relations who were involved with breast bondage; nipple clips/clothespins/ mousetraps, others into the same, but applied to labia and or their clitoris; some who engaged in "pet training;" others who received golden showers; some whose "master" shared them with other guys or exposed them publicly, or exposed them via Web postings; others who engaged in hot wax sessions or received brands or cigarette burns; those who submitted to all sorts of lifestyle rules (the most interesting being a woman whose partner required her to piss squatting outside at all times); foot worship; cock worship; orgasm control; oversized toy use or fisting; body modification; various forms of bondage; play piercing; even servicing a dog for their "master's" entertainment. It didn't really get a sense from you that the sex you were engaged in reflected these kinds of traditional D/s varities.

    Do you engage in BDSM play or do you just service your partner whenever he wants?
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  20. jujubee

    jujubee New Member

    This is fascinating! The Story of O in real life here!!

    How did he "mark" You?
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