Romantic Vacation?

Discussion in 'Female Sexuality' started by ready_69, Feb 9, 2009.

  1. ready_69

    ready_69 New Member

    we are going on a cruise, any suggestion from the ladies.
    My wife is a little bit shy and rarely initiate any sexual activities. before the arrival of the two kids she was more open and she would try anything.

  2. nafi

    nafi Active Member

    It's possible she is self concious about her body after having kids. Do you still compliment her, tell her she's sexy/hot etc? Do you have the same passion and intimacy you had before the kids? Has she ever mentioned that she doesn't like her body?

    Personally I'm self concious, I don't like my body. I want to lose tummy weight and I haven't had kids. But my BF has said many times that he loves my body and my curves and likes that I got meat on my bones. He always says I'm sexy/hot/whatever and says he would never tell me I'm fat or tell me to lose weight and that he loves me just as I am. He says the last bit cuz I complain I wanna lose weight and all. But him complimenting me and telling me this helps me try to be more confident and accepting of myself, even if I do want to lose weight.

    Talk to her and find out why she doesn't initiate and if there's something you can do to help. Tell her you wish she would initiate more and see if anything changes.

  3. Cruises are amazing!!!! Are you going just the two of you? Or is it a family vacation?

  4. ready_69

    ready_69 New Member

    Nafi, what you have wrote about yourself can apply on my wife 100%, exactly the same. she is always complaining about her weight, but she is not fat and I am always complimenting her. we do a lot of things together, we go out for dinners alone and movies.
    And "kiss forever X", no we are not going alone the kids will be with us, but this cruise has a a special program for kids and they will take care of them all day.

  5. Hanes

    Hanes New Member

    Cruises are awesome BUT I must warn you, do NOT have high expecations for this trip. I have been on several cruises with kids along and sex never happened. First of all, just because they have kids programs doesn't mean your kids will want to go. Second of all, if the kids are in the programs at times, your wife might want to lay by the pool, play bingo or gamble, or watch a show. Cruises offer a LOT of activities for adults and children-I love them. But, like I say, don't expect that your wife is going to want to spend alone time in your room with you. I hope it happens but I just want to warn you because like I say, I had high hopes on a cruise my wife and I took two years ago with both kids along and not once did we have sex. Now, if it were just the two of you going your odds would be really good.

  6. LilMissSunshine

    LilMissSunshine New Member

    Not sure I understand what you are looking for. Tips on cruises to go on? Tips on how to get her to open up more?
    Cruise down the Nile was amazing, we did that for Honeymoon. Gets v hot at midday so taking to bed was essential!!!
    I take it you are talking about going away without kids.
    How about recreating your honeymoon? Going somewhere with a Spa so she can be pampered and feel more feminine and beautiful, if she feels good about herself she might feel more amorous.
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 24, 2013

  7. gardengrl

    gardengrl Member

    My husband and I went on a cruise this past summer and we didn’t take the kids. We had a great time. After 2 kids I too am self conscious about my body but just having the freedom to whatever we wanted created that “pre-kids” atmosphere. We had quite a bit of sex. I was even on a crazy medication that decreased my sex drive but I was so happy to be on a vacation that I wanted him to be as happy as I was. I also have a cousin who worked out a surprise for her husband when they were on their cruise. She had a different piece of lingerie for each night of the cruise. I think sometimes the relaxed indulgent environment can make the vacationers indulge. (spa treats help too:)

  8. nafi

    nafi Active Member

    Have you spoken with your wife about why things may have changed? Why she isn't as open about sexual activities or positions or whatever it is that has changed? I think this is your first step, find out the reason behind the change.

  9. ready_69

    ready_69 New Member

    Nafi, did your husband convince you to change and are you more open to ideas.

  10. Hanes

    Hanes New Member

    Yes, a cruise without kids can be great, heck, just a geteway without kids can be heavenly. My wife and I have only had one day away from our kids in about 5 years, we had sex 3 times in less than 24 hours. I think that was also the last time she gave me oral sex-that will be two years this summer. We just can't afford to go away, no money at all. And, it is hard to find someone to watch our two kids. I think we would have a better chance of getting someone to watch our kids than affording to go.

    The original poster though IS taking the kids so that is why I have to let him know not to up his expectations. Perhaps he will get his wish of great sex but when the kids are around, sometimes the wife is just very reluctant. They usually give you beepers when your kids go to the kids club and like I say, depeding on the age of the child, they are often times reluctant to go play with kids they don't know while being watched by adults they don't know. And my wife, being the way she is, would not leave ours unless they asked to go and even then, she sometimes felt bad about leaving them.

  11. nafi

    nafi Active Member

    Well he's not my husband, we're still just dating right now. For me I still don't like my body, I still want to lose weight (even though I haven't really been doing much about it). But in bed I try not to think about it because he says it does't bother him and that he loves my curves and all. I'm still trying to be more confident and accept my body but I'm not sure I ever will unless I lose at least some of the weight I want to lose, or spend tons of money on a new wardrobe and I don't have money for that.

    As for sex, I'm up for certain positions but there's still some things I won't do (like anal, tried and didn't like. Not with current BF but still won't do that again). But I can't really think of times that my BF has wanted to try a position I wasn't up for. Unless it just wasnt working, then we'd switch, but other then that it's usually great.

    I would talk to your wife, find out what's changed, her opinions and her thoughts/feelings on the subject. Once you have that you can work on trying to change things back to how they were before the kids. See if she has suggestions on how to get that back.

  12. gardengrl

    gardengrl Member

    I have lots of insecurities about my body. I really do want to look the way I did when I was 23. My husband will attest to this. He has begun to convince me that he finds my body to be his desired shape. This has taken a very, very long time. He frequently tells me how much he likes the way I look. I also pay attention to the celebrities that he says are attractive and the all are bigger that the average star. It helps me to believe him. While I am unhappy with the way I look, at least I feel that he doesn’t mind the nursed on breasts, cellulite, baby belly, c-section scars (I could go on and on). Therefore I am less inhibited when it comes to sex most of the time. There are still times when I have to get up and adjust the light before I can really focus on the task at hand. I think the key is convincing your wife that you find her beautiful and if you had a choice you would choose her over ____( insert sexy celebrity here) because you find her to be the sexiest. He also smacks my bottom in appreciation on a regular basis.

  13. ready_69

    ready_69 New Member

    gardengrl, thank you for the good advise, and thats what I have actually been doing,but I haven't seen results yet, but I am a patient person. if you have anymore advices please share.
    I always find Nigella Lawson the chef on the Food Network very sexy, if you don't know here she is a Voluptuous hot women that has a cooking show. but today is the first time I told my wife about my crush on this women, and she was very happy because she sees herself in here, she was very happy, and I got the feeling that she is starting to believe all the compliments that I have been showering her with are true.

  14. nafi

    nafi Active Member

    If the issue is that she doesn't like her body it could take a while for her to feel better about it. Your compliments help, but this is something inside her that she needs to believe. And I think, especially due to your comment about the cooking show host, she didn't believe you, basically thought you were complimenting her to make her feel better but that you think she could stand to lose weight.

    I think you're talking about Rachel Ray? She's not fat or anything but she has meat on her bones (not stick thin) and I think she's gorgeous. The fact that you've revealed this crush to your wife, along with your compliments to her, will start to work a little better to boost her self-esteem and confidence in herself. I hope it does.

  15. ready_69

    ready_69 New Member

    Nafi, type nigella lawson on youtube, and you will see what i am talking about, my wife has the same body form, and I think that is the perfect body for a woman.
    And I thank you for the tip.

  16. shawngold

    shawngold New Member

    I'm a many time repeat visitor to Orlando. I go there for rest, exercise, and for excellent meals at local restaurant. It is quiet but not too quiet and the sunsets are top notch even compared with any other island nations.Vacation Rentals in Orlando is an excellent place to stay and there are many other options for all budgets. I have enjoyed other areas in Orlando.It's quite romantic place.


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