Mommas of Toddlers and Preschoolers - Part 2

Discussion in 'Archived Discussions' started by gutterflower, Nov 30, 2010.

  1. desertgirl

    desertgirl Active Member

    We put one of those childproof knobs on and it sucked--it was hard for me to open. Plus, we also have to lay down/sit with piper till she's sleeping, and then trying to struggle with the door to open it to leave would invariably wake her up, and we'd start the whole dang sleeping thing over again. It was necessary since she can reach up and open the dead lock on the front door, and walk out of the house whenever, but my husband finally put a chain on the front door. So off went the childproof knob, and now Piper is back to being able to open her door and come and get me at night. Which she does every single night. Oh well, more cuddle time wiht my kid, I guess! The only thing I really wish now is that she'd sleep past 5:30am.

    Oh, Piper had croup on Sunday night. Freaked us out, we almost took her to the ER. Doctor practically laughed at me and my husband on monday morn when we took her into doctor, still all freaked out. Last night she woke up again a tiny bit wheezy, but a few phlegmy coughs and she seemed better. A nice day off of work for me and my husband though. The doc said to do somethign fun, so we took her to the zoo, ate lunch somewhere new, and then played outside at home for the rest of the day.

    Thanks for the birthday wishes! Piper had a great day! The cake was so good--and looked good too, but it is sort of icky to eat food the color of a neon rainbow, lol!!

  2. TDG

    TDG New Member

    Desert--That reminds me--I need to get a chain or something for our front door too. Evans all about escapeing now that the gates broke n he can get to the front door. Freaks me out because we live on such a busy road!..nevermind the tractors comeing and going behind/beside the house. Im glad Ps already feeling better.

    Evans napped all morning so now the whole day is thrown off. Blah. Im way too tired and df is supposed to work late. I hate summer..he works all the time and being a single mom is the pits. I dunno how anyone does it full time!

  3. labby06

    labby06 Active Member

    TDG - I hear ya on the not knowing how single moms do it full time! After my 5 days of it I was sick of it! Actually after day 2 I was sick of it, lol!

    Croup seems to be pretty popular right now. A friend's little boy also had it and had to get the steroid shot and go to the ER for observation. Hopefully we'll stay clear of that.

    Our night was terrible, again. She was up 4 times last night. She does well until midnight and then that is when all hell brakes loose. We had a thunderstorm go through last night and there was a very loud crack of thunder. Scared the crap out of me so I thought for sure it would wake her but it didn't. But no 15 minutes later she was screaming her little lungs out running out of her room. I'm so torn because if it's a nightmare then I want to console her and cuddle with her and make her feel safe. But I'm wondering if she just knows that screaming like that will get that kind of attention. How in the world do you tell the difference? She was obviously very upset and very shaken, so I have to imagine she had a nightmare again. The other 3 times she was up DH and I took turns putting her back to bed and she wasn't screaming as bad. The last time I got up with her I marched her back to bed, she climbed in and I left and decided to just hold the door shut. She didn't get back out of bed that time though!

    DH promised me that when he gets home today I can take a nap. He better make good on that promise and not come home late either! I can barely keep my eyes open at work today. It sucks!

    Oh, forgot to add the stupid childproof door lock thing didn't work! It doesn't fit the door right! If you put it on the outside of the door you can't close it and if you put it on the inside of the door (in her room) you can't open the door from the outside and you have to lock it before you close the door so then we would be locked out of her room! So that's getting returned and I think we are just goign to temporarily replace the door handle with an actual knob that she can't turn.

  4. gutterflower

    gutterflower Active Member

    Well from experience, being a single mom is easier than relying on a man for anything. There's no anger towards anyone and you just go about your life because that's just the way it is. I am such at peace and honestly love my life. The only thing I miss is the intimacy of a partner, but I know if I were to ever get in a relationship again, he will be a family man who respects his partner in every way. Somedays I miss my ex, but then I flip the reality on and it is not worth all the anger and frustration. I think what makes it worse for you ladies is the constant broken promises or help expected. I'm so sorry some of you are dealing with this, I have been there, know quite well just how much you love you SO. I have never wanted to be a single mom b/c my mom was and I made sure to have everything before I even considered kids, so I'm better off and pretty proud of myself and I enjoy every minute of motherhood.

    Also those who have husbands who provide for their family and are SAHM's, men just think that is your job, so unless the man was raised with helping their wife/partner, I wouldn't expect them to change unless they get help and get a rude awakening.

    I personally think if both parents are working full time, then it's an equal responsibility. As a tip of advice, my roomate and his wife both work (well he's in school full time) and they take turns on one bathes the kids, the other cleans up the kitchen. I think the problem with my ex and I is that I worked full time day shift, he worked night shift and looked after the kids during the day, which I happily did most of the work. The only thing that we lacked was intimacy with our busy schedules, well mine, I was too tired to do anything else, when he constantly wanted to get laid when the kids were awake and needy.

    Anyways hope you can all find some peace, no fun being angry all the time...

  5. TDG

    TDG New Member

    I actually have to admit..just last week when df worked really late I thought how nice it was without much more time I had to do things when my time didnt need to divided one more time, and I just felt peaceful not dealing with him..but we were also haveing a BAD week. lol. Normally I enjoy both his help and company. I also have anxiety issues so Id probably lose my marbles without help with the boys. Im just not strong enough to handle everything alone. Today is one of those days...I need backup!!! lol

    labby--you had better get that nap! or do some serious ball punching!

  6. Bron

    Bron New Member

    DG glad you took the doctor's advice and did something nice - blame it on him if anyone finds out lol. Sorry to hear though that Piper had croup.

    Wow, you guys live in open houses or something - we have a security gate on our front door that is always locked and an electric gate so no one can get onto the street without the remote - the box is padlocked so unless you know where the key is you can get stuck in a power failure too! Tonight when DH came home the dogs were barking and someone was shouting and whistling outside and I just remembered the hijacking (it was nearly a year ago now) and wouldn't let Laurana out to say hi to her Dad til I was sure no one was trying to hijack him (cause sometimes they come in the house and steal your stuff too and I was debating where to hide and lock the kids in) Its been ages since I had a scare like that but I went ice cold then hot again at the thought. Luckily everything was fine of course, but there is no ways I will let my kid out anywhere unless I am sure things are fine and usually if I am with her even to play in the front garden.

    Labby I don't think I'd succeed at locking Laurana in her room - she's also still out every single night and in our bed often, but we leave her bedroom door wide open even though she comes to find us - then DH just says in a rough voice: "Go back to your bed" and she does. But maybe that is after a lot of practicing and trying different things.

    Gutter I do not know how you do it. I know both single parenting and being married while parenting have pros and cons and I have been separated from DH before for a long while but had my Mom's help then - doing it alone every day... I don't think I could, especially not with two. DH and I have somehow figured what we can and cannot expect from each other most of the time - ie I know what he will NOT do and I think he knows there are things I won't accept and things I just won't do either.

    Laurana is still using bottles (I know she is nearly 4 years old!!!!) I am trying to cut them again now - we left it until after the baby was born as we were struggling when I was pregnant with it too. Now I am worried she is dehydrating herself as she wants the bottle in the middle of the day too and I have been refusing - she has sippy cups and normal cups so she must just dehydrate then. Sigh... when we drink anything at meal times she is fine and uses a normal glass or cup, but if she is not at a full family meal then she wants a bottle - its ridiculous.

  7. TDG

    TDG New Member

    Bron--we dont lock our house and we leave the keys in our cars!! lol. The biggest danger here is a loose bull(which we actually did have in our yard a while back) haha. Well that and the moutain lions but those are rare. I cant imagine living somewhere so dangerous. You are going to have a hell of a time getting rid of the bottles now. It seems kids who have a bottle or paci past 2 have the worst time getting rid of them. I weaned the boys off bottles around 16 months...first not allowing them during the day..then replaceing a night bottle with a sippy of water. It wasnt near as bad as I expected with either kid.

  8. gutterflower

    gutterflower Active Member

    I remember going on Google Map and visiting Africa, so I have an idea what your homes look like, beautiful but scary to have gates/fences everywhere. I also went downtown area and a guy was laying on the side of the road dead or alive looking mugged or something. You would love it where I live, so peaceful and quiet, no fences just trust from everyone. Of course unfortunate events can happen, but rarely.

    I'm glad no one took me sooo harshly, I don't get help from anyone except from myself and my ex. He takes the kids Monday and Tuesday nights, except last night he worked and I was looking forward to kid free night, YES CAN YOU BELIEVE I NOW LOOK FORWARD TO IT???? I still can't....tonight I am keeping Audrey b/c we are going to see her 1st theater movie Rio in 3D, I am sooo excited!!!
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 24, 2013

  9. Bron

    Bron New Member

    Lol about the bull TDG although they can be dangerous too. My husband yells at me if he comes home and finds the security door unlocked even if the main wooden door is locked - he says I am not being safe. Yeah, they say where we live is like having the innocents in prison while the criminals walk free - and it is. There is electric fencing between my neighbours house and our house - although I have no idea if they turn it on or not. I doubt that guy was dead that you saw gutter - people just do that here, or they are stone drunk and passed out. The most dangerous animal we can get in our houses is the rinkhals snake - it'll kill you but I have only ever seen a live one once at a vet - we killed it.

    Enjoy the movie gutter!

  10. nessa26

    nessa26 New Member

    Bron, you are right. Married couples, and single parenting both have their pros and cons. I for one can't imagine having raised Sofia this far without DH. We have always taken turns consoling her in the middle of the night, bathing her, feeding her, etc. When I have days where she is a complete nightmare, and Im all alone, I know there is an end in sight because DH has to come home sometime, and relieve me of a tantrum throwing toddler. I commend single moms, and even the SAHMs. I couldn't do it!

    How is everyone?

    Enjoy the movie Gutter!! That looks like a cute movie!

    Wow mountain lions TDG?? I was watching the local news a couple weeks back, and they were showing a mountain lion that had come down from the mountains into the city. The awful drought we are having around here caused the poor thing to go looking for water. Unfortunately, they had to shoot it dead. It was very sad.

    Doctor's appt today. I don't want to bore you guys with details, but basically she is going to check my prolactin and progesterone, then start me on Clomid next month. She was so close to just writing me the script today, but said she wanted to do things right, and check everything, and I have no problem with that. So at the very earliest, a March baby. Fingers crossed!!

  11. labby06

    labby06 Active Member

    Good luck, Nessa! A March/April baby is what we originally planned for but it didn't exactly happen that way, lol!

    We live in a very rural and fairly safe area. I honestly don't lock my car unless we're going away and taking the other car. There have been random burglaries over the years, but they mainly seem to target businesses or turns out to be an acquaintance after something specific. Any murder/homicide type crime in this area usually isn't random so unless you have beef with someone wanting to target you you are pretty safe. The majority of our neighbors are old retired folks, so they keep an eye on things during the day. We have our guard dog too, lol. She sounds mean and would hopefully be a deterrent, but if anyone ever did get in the house she would just lick them to death, lol. I have been researching some alarm systems though just for that extra peace of mind. Haven't decided what we're going to do there yet though.

    I commend single moms as well. I can't wait until DH gets home. She has been a COMPLETE disaster since I picked her up. I don't know what's going on but I'm wondering if it may be tooth related. Both yesterday and today she had her hand shoved so far in the back of her mouth that you could barely see it. WHen I unstrapped her I saw her shirt was soaked from drool running down her hand/arm! It was crazy. So I don't know if that's bothering her and maybe waking her at night? I just don't know what tooth it would be since I think most of them are through now and she won't let me look in her mouth. She's also been RAVENOUS. We send so much food with her to day care and the past 2 days she has eaten EVERYTHING plus additional snacks they gave her! They can't believe how much she is eating, so I'm guessing growth spurt? I may give her a dose of motrin tonight before bed to help with any tooth/growing pains she might be having and see if we can get a decent night's sleep for once.

  12. desertgirl

    desertgirl Active Member

    I think I live in a fairly safe area, but anything can happen. Tucson, in general, has a high crime rate. There were a couple of murders (separate instances) less than a 1/4 mile from us in the past few years (both in a MUCH nicer neighborhood) so we've been much better about locking doors and such. We have 4 dogs, 3 of whom are big and could be scary (I hope to not ever have to find out) so I'm not too worried about crazy fools breaking in, but, I'd rather a effed up meth head encounter a locked door first.

    O's been ravenous? She must have stolen P's appetite, lol. The kid doesn't eat much anyway, and since Friday has barely eaten anything. Like, maybe a few ounces of food ALL DAY for several days. I guess the croup is probably affecting her appetite. She eats so little on a normal day though, that I'm starting to worry about really stupid and obsessive issues that I grew up with and I really hope not to pass on to her. Hopefully I'm hyperaware of that projection though, so she at least won't hear it from me. I already had to tell my mom (who is about 105lbs dripping wet) to stop telling Piper that "grandma's belly is so fat."

    have fun at the movie, Gutter!

    Nessa, good luck with the next doctor's visit! sounds like things are moving.

    Ugh, Bron, we still give Piper a bottle. I don't plan on stopping anytime soon. It's a comfort thing for her, and as of now, I don't see the harm in it. I've read the reasons to stop, and since she doesn't get one a night, knows how to drink from a cup, and eats a variety of 'real' food (umm, well sometimes), doesn't walk around with one all day or hanging from her mouth ever, I'm really not worried about it. I guess I'll be going through the same thing when she's Laurana's age!

  13. TDG

    TDG New Member

    Bron--Im sure glad we dont have poisonis snakes since my house is full of non poisonis ones! lol.

    Nessa--Yeah the mt lions were actually placed around here to control the deer but they multiplied much faster than expected. They occasionally end up in last year was under someones camper so it had to be shot. The city police shot the @$#%^@ out of the took like 100 shots to hit the was pathetic on the cops part. LOL. We are pretty certain one killed our dog(a big lab) last year. They can drag a 600lb calf up a tree so they are certainly not something to mess with. lol. But no one around heres ever been hurt by one so Im not overly scared.

    Labby--those far back molars are some very painful teeth to come in so that may very well be the prob. Hopefully the drugs help her..and you get some sleep!

    Oh my gosh what a day Ive had. Evan napping in the morning threw everything SO off. These two havent stopped fighting all day. If df didnt come home to take over they would be ducttaped to a chair..not kidding! LOL

  14. labby06

    labby06 Active Member

    LOL on the duct tape, TDG! Sometimes I feel like doing the same!

    I got a bit of a nap, yay! Only got to lay down for an hour and didn't sleep the entire time, but I'll take what I can get! He had her in the bath when I woke up. It was a bit late, but whatever, as long as I didn't have to deal with her, lol!

    I gave her some Motrin and we both went in her room to say goodnight. We both left right away and I stood at the door holding it shut for when she got up. She didn't get up though! She's been down about 20 minutes and she's still laying there rolling around, eyes open (I can tell from the reflection in the camera that's in there). But she's quiet and isn't running out. Let's hope it stays that way.

    She hasn't had a bottle since she was about 8 months old. She just decided one day she didn't want it anymore and would no longer take the pumped breast milk from it at day care. At that time I was sending bottles of breast milk and a sippy cup of water. They ended up dumping the water and putting the milk in there and she took it no problem! That was the end of bottles for us and I was so happy. She never did take a pacifier, and never really sucked her thumb, so we don't have to deal with breaking those habits either. I wish she would have done one of the two though to help soothe her a bit more. I was a bad thumbsucker and did it all through elementary school, but only at night. There was a girl I went to high school with who still sucked her thumb during the day in high school!!

    Update: She now appears to be sleeping! Woohoo for not having to lay on her floor tonight!!! Now to see what the rest of the night holds....fingers crossed!!!

  15. MyrtleWarbler

    MyrtleWarbler Super Moderator Staff Member

    DG... I'm with you on the food/body image thing. I really don't let myself fret if Allie doesn't eat much at a particular meal. Other times, she eats a lot (like tonight - she loved the "Shepherd's Pie-like" casserole I made, she at a huge helping!). I don't want her to assume that every time you sit down, you have to eat a big plate of food. I want he to know it's OK to stop when you are full. Etc.

    Labby... I'm so sorry about your rough nights! Allie stirs and wakes-up, but usually goes back to sleep on her own. I'm a more sound sleeper, and DH sometimes gets up and goes to her without me ever knowing. I realize now how lucky I'm am, for both things! I bet it is teething, and surely things will stabalize if you continue to be as consistent as you can manage so the basic "routine" is still there. Ugh, good luck! I hope the rest of tonight is going well! I'm excited now to get preg again, but a little worried about how hard it will be with a busy toddler! BTW, do you have to send food for lunch with Olvia? Or do you just choose to? Our daycare provides lunch. I do worry that it probably isn't as healthy as I would prefer, not as organic (though she does get organic frozen veggies). But I have to admit, if I was one "mom" feeding 6 kids lunch every day, I'd be opting for convenient and affordable items, too! I've been thinking of sending her milk, though, b/c that's one thing I insist on organic for her at home. I don't want her hitting puberty at age 9, LOL! BTW, I know a grown man who sucks his thumb out of habit, has been caught at work and gets teased! You can tell with his teeth, it has messed up his bite.

    Gutter... How was Rio?! Looks like a cute movie! I haven't been to any of these new 3D movies, seems to be the new trend. Didn't even see Avatar in 3D. [​IMG] DH does his share around our home (and then some, to be honest, since I'm busy with coaching and church board stuff). But not wanting to see Avatar with me in the theater was a ball-punching moment for me, LOL!

    ETA: Do your kids have any kind of "lovey" - a blanket or teddy bear, that they have to have at night, want to take everywhere, etc? Allie loves this dog that my friend gave us. IT actually is really cute. Funny thing is she loves to rub the tail against her face when she is getting sleepy, so it looks like she is sniffing the dog's butt, LOL! I try to keep her from taking it out of the house, or at least sneak it away from her when we drop off at daycare. So far, that has worked. She'll ask for it, "Doggie?", then we just distract her. But at night... it's a must have! I ended up finding a second one online (was hard, I think it's discontinued!). Anyone else?

    OK, if I don't get my butt to bed, I'll be kicking myself in the a.m...

  16. Myste

    Myste New Member

    Wes never had sleeping troubles once we transitioned to the crib, and he never had a lovey. Since Alex arrived he's grown attached to a car blanket we have though. He wants it at naps and bedtime but doesn't carry it around or get upset if it's not there during the day, or even if we put it on Alex. Also he never really took to a pacifier or thumb-sucking either.

    I'm lucky my husband helps out a lot with the kids and some of the housework. We certainly have our problems but he does his share, and he really surprised me when I had to be in the hospital and he had to step up, but when he was home for 2 weeks after Alex was born he learned just what it takes to be a stay at home parent and didn't like it at all!

    One odd thing - Wes seems to have reverted to 2 naps a day since Alex arrived. He used to get up at 6 or 6:30, take a nap at 11-1 and then go to bed around 7 or 7:30. Now he's getting up around 7 (we get him out of the crib around 7:30) and goes down at the same time as before, but now he's napping 10-11:30 and 3-4:30 or 5. I'm not complaining, mind!

  17. labby06

    labby06 Active Member

    Last night was a little better, but we had to resort to some tough love which was really tough! I gave her some motrin before bed because I do think there is something tooth related going on. When I brushed her teeth and got to the lower left she yelped and turned her head and wouldn't let me get back in there, so I think something is hurting. She went to bed great and didn't get out of her bed at all so I had hope!

    We made it past midnight which has been the normal waking time for her, but all hell broke lose around 3:30. I didn't even realize she was up until I heard her crying standing in our room. DH walked her back to bed and then left the room and held the door shut. She got out of her bed, came over to the door, and she screamed and cried and kicked and threw a tantrum like you wouldn't believe. After about 5 minutes of listening to this I finally got up, went in her room and said in a very stern voice "Get back in your bed". She ran to her bed and climbed in and then I said "Now lay down and stay there" and then walked out and held the door shut. Of course she came running back pulling on the door screaming. Again I opened and said "Get back in your bed" and again she ran to it and climbed in and again I said "Lay down". Then I walked out but kept the door cracked so I could see if she started getting up. Every time she started getting up I opened the door and said "Lay down!" and she would plop back down crying. After about 20 minutes of this she finally laid down and cried herself back to sleep. It was soooooo hard to do, but hopefully it got the point across that she can't be getting out of bed. I have a feeling we'll be doing the same tonight.

    She hasn't really latched on to any one item as a lovey. She loves blankets though and they ALL have to go to bed with her. DH says she will sometimes latch on to something and not let go when he takes her to day care, but it's always something different. One day it could be a blanket, another day a doll, another day a book, then a different blanket, etc.

    We send all food with her to day care. They provide snacks for the older kids and usually give her some too, but as far as milk, juice, lunch and other snacks go we send it all.

  18. Penguin-Goon

    Penguin-Goon New Member

    MW julie has a lovey, and has forever now. her pink ladybug blanket. she loves it to the point i tried desperately to get another one but they are discontinued and no one has them any more and i couldnt even find one on ebay or craigslist lol! she wont sleep without it, nap or night time, and carries it around the house almost all day. 95% of the time she doesnt bring it out of the house, unless i know we are going to be gone pretty much all day or late into the evening cause i know she will be looking for it when she gets tired so i tell her to bring it (she gets all excited like bringing it with her is a special treat! haha) i dont really see anything wrong with it, she loves it so much, the only thing i dont like is she gets very upset if kaydee or other kids lay on it or hold it, she will get VERY angry and start screaming at them and hit them, so we have been working on that. if charles or i picks it up she doesnt have a problem with it but if we lay on it or pretend to sleep with it she will come over and take it or just stand there and cry... were working on that lol.

    well julie had a well check today (shes 20 months old but due to insurance problems she missed her 15 and 18 month apts so were playing catch up!)

    weight: 31 lbs 2 oz (98th%)

    height: dr said 34 3/4" tall which is 95th% but at home shes measuring 30" which is 5th% and im not sure which is right... charles insists shes 30" and theyre wrong but looking back her 1 year apt said she was 30" so how would she have NOT gotten any taller at all in 8 months??

    head circ: 19 1/4" (95th%)

    anyways, i cant believe how much she weighs now!!! such a big girl smile she now officially weighs more than her "big sister" LOL!!!

  19. desertgirl

    desertgirl Active Member

    haha, Julie is big! Try measuring her height again today. I can't believe Kaydee is so tiny!!

    I feel guilty for complaining about my husband. Yes, he's really irritating me lately, and I still want to daily do some ball punching. But he really is a good husband (almost always, lol), and he's an excellent father (minus that mean comment). He helps with everything. Cleaning, diaper changing, caring for Piper, cooking dinners...the only things he doesn't do is her laundry or night stuff.

  20. TDG

    TDG New Member

    Oh how I wish my kids would have a lovey. I had a teddy bear(still have it actually lol). Instead IM everyones lovey and its exhausting. Evan has this weird thing where when hes tired he HAS to stick his hands in my pants--like the waist band..nothin weird lol.. or up my shirt. Hes been doing it since the day he was born and still does. Its cute..until its 2am and suddenly he climbs into our bed n you feel these cold little hands on your back. lol. It kind of ticks me off because my MIL and SIL get REALLY upset about how "wrong" that its inappropriate. Hes just a baby trying to comfort himself--just like thumb sucking. Its not like he knows hes invading space and its certainly not a perverted thing but thats how they act. So stupid.

    labby--hopefully it works soon. Id expect the tuff love to take 4-7 days to fully work.

    goon--thats so strange about her height. Shes such a lil chunker! Evan is a thick kid n hes taller(36inch) but weighs less(30lb) lol.

    OMG B and E wont stop fighting!! All freakin week nonstop. I think a night at grandmas is in order because mommys patience is gone n its only weds!


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