Mommas of Toddlers and Preschoolers - Part 2

Discussion in 'Archived Discussions' started by gutterflower, Nov 30, 2010.

  1. Bron

    Bron New Member

    Happy birthday P!

    DG sorry your DH was like that - I'd tell him he's too old to be so nasty to a small child - he needs to grow up!

    Nessa hope you can get the vitamin D sorted out relatively soon and have a BFP asap.

    Laurana seems very tired today and is a bit whiny. I want to do some things with her but shes being resistant so I'll just leave her to play by herself until she gets out of hand again.

  2. Penguin-Goon

    Penguin-Goon New Member

    DG that's so sad! Ida smacked Charles lol!

    Happy birthday P!!!!!

  3. MyrtleWarbler

    MyrtleWarbler Super Moderator Staff Member

    Happy Birthday, P!! For your birthday, my wish for you is that your daddy lightens up, and plays peek-a-boo with you all day long!! He's a stinker!!

    Nessa - I've been hearing more lately about Vitamin D and the problems a deficiency can cause! Hopefully your ovulation gets back on track next one is sticky!

  4. Penguin-Goon

    Penguin-Goon New Member

    Omg! So I leave the house today for 3 1/2 hours without the girls, first time I've gone anywhere without them in over a month besides visiting Charles in the hospital. Charles wanted me to take them to help my mom pack (she's moving in 3 days) but I held my ground and made him watch them (3 1/2 hours, seriously suck it up dude!!!) and when I get home he has fallen asleep, Julie had stripped down to a bare butt (he literally found her with no diaper at all when he finally woke up...) and colored every square inch of her body with a blue ball point pen, which he made no effort to wash off of her. Ok so I can deal with that, the I discover after looking around that she not only peed on the couch in the playroom she also pooped on the carpet in there and he disnt even notice (or look...). Seriously, WTF???? So I have to clean that up. Then he says (at which point it's 7:30pm and I'm getting the girls in pjs for bed) oh, I didn't feed them any dinner cause I didn't know what to give them... OMFG. poor Julie is pulling on the refrigerator door yelling snack cause she's starving, so I give them some quick dinner then get them in jammies. To top it all off Julie had a bright angry red diaper rash now too cause j guess he didn't wipe her when he put a new diaper on her not knowing she pooped (she had freaking poo on her butt, how the hell do you not notice that?!?!!). Ugh I can't even leave my children with their own father for a few hours.

  5. labby06

    labby06 Active Member

    Happy birthday, P! Hope it was an awesome day and daddy wasn't such a meanie today!

    Welcome back, MW! I've been wondering how your TTC efforts have been going. Fingers crossed for a BFP! Yeah, my story was a bit of a shocker. I also think it was the first DTD that did it (the day after my last AF ended), especially after my HCG being so high and being able to see the heartbeat right away. I think his little swimmers just hung out in there for a really long time and maybe the stressed caused me to ovulate early. I'm still not totally sure though considering I have been stressed out before and have never once gotten a period early. Who knows though, I think I was just really screwed up last month all around. Either way, it's a welcome surprise and I believe it happened now for a reason. Perhaps had we waited like I wanted to there would have been other issues. At least that's what I keep telling myself, haha! This path was chosen for a reason, even though we may never know what that reason is!

    Goon - OMG I would have totally lost it on DH had he done something like that. There are times when I get mad because he will pull the whole "I didn't know what to give her for dinner" excuse. Makes me sooooo mad. I also get mad if he doesn't start her bath when I'm not home. His is excuse is always "I figured you would want to do it". For some reason he HATES giving her a bath. I will often times ask him to start her bath while I get her dirty diapers in the wash. He will sometimes put up such a fight about why I can't just wait the 5 minutes it will take to get her bath started. I think sometimes he just feels uncomfortable because she's a girl because he's made comments before about how he hates changing her and having to wipe "down there." I told him to grow up and as long as he doesn't get any weird thoughts while cleaning her up then he has nothing to worry about. He will do it, but often times makes it known that he doesn't like to. Well I don't exactly like wiping poopy butts either, but it's part of the job!

  6. Bron

    Bron New Member

    Hope P had a good birthday - was going to say that you should have told your DH that he is far too old to be being mean to some poor innocent child and he should grow up.

    Goon OMG! I read your post to my DH so he knows I think that is terrible although he will never feed Laurana breakfast and he's never had to get any other meal for her unless he's making for everyone. I think I would have told him to get off his butt and find something for the kids to eat so he not only knows I am mad but has to do something about it!

    Labby I am sure it is all for a reason - even if it is just that THIS is the baby you need - that egg was only available that month.

    Laurana needs more sleep - she was really difficult last night and Kirima had a hard time getting to sleep too so I am also tired today. Wish Laurana would go down for a nap today but that is highly unlikely.

  7. Penguin-Goon

    Penguin-Goon New Member

    well had a long argument/talk with charles last night when he finally came home from hanging out with friends. things better change now! of course hes being good today. we will see. he knows now im not putting up with crap anymore and that kids are a JOINT responsibility and not just my problem. he doesnt need to babysit, he needs to CARE for his children without making me feel guilty for having a few hours off every month. he also needs to start caring more about my feelings and emotions and not just looking out for himself anymore. so things better improve!! i know everyone screws up sometimes, but hes been doing this for a while and taking advantage of me and i got tired of it after last night, that was the last straw!!

  8. TDG

    TDG New Member

    goon--LOL...I dont think Im lucky...Im just VERY demanding. He knows he can either help or get the hell out. And yes hes a good man because given those options hed rather help. He doesnt usually do things my way...for example when I did get up yesterday Brendyn told me daddy gave him cookie cereal for lunch. I asked df..he goes well yeah but thats not everything I gave them, I was like well what else did they have...he goes a banana! So I asked what they had for breakfast...the same! LOL. So he fed them cookie cereal and a banana for breakfast and lunch..the lazy ass. But yes thats much better than letting them starve. God I would have murdered him. Like seriously...Id have told him to get the hell out and find somewhere else to sleep or hed have gotten a serious ball punching in his sleep. DF is a great daddy...he adores his family and would do anything for us..with minimal complaints. But hes not perfect..if he keeps lieing to me and leaving his chew where the kids can get into it Ill have to murder him in his sleep. [​IMG] haha. I really hope charles shapes up before you run out of patience! He better learn how lucky he is to have a very patient wife...if he were my hubs hed have been a goner already!

    MW--I agree about sprout..thats a great channel. Except dirt girl..that show is creepy weird. lol. Thats awesome..I hope I do that good bow hunting. DF can be so cocky about his hunting skills so Id love to show him up! haha. Good luck on the 2ww!

    desert--that is terrible. I hope you set him straight! Are all men totally dumb or what? I really really hate when df pushes the kids to grow up sooner...they already grow up too fast! BTW Evan still loves peekaboo too. Did P have a good Bday other than daddy being an azz?

    nessa--interesting about the vit d because the kids ped was telling me how nearly everyone in this country is deficiant nowadays because the only way to get it from nature is to sun bath naked(because the body produces it from sunlight but it must be on the torso not the arms/legs and who the hell runs around naked outside lol). Maybe that plays a part why sooo many people have fertility probs now too.

    bron--I hope L settles down for you. Crabby tired kids is never fun!

    We had a busy day, df and my mom took the boys swimming at my ex stepdads house. Evan was wild...he is so fearless he scares the crap out of me. Evan would totally just dive in alone if we let him. Brendyn is a big chicken but he loved it if someone held on to him tight. He swam for like 5 hours straight! Waylon also loved it. He was sooo tired so I figured hed get fussy but he never did. Today we are all wiped out.

  9. labby06

    labby06 Active Member

    I guess we don't get the Sprout channel because I have no idea what it is, lol. We just have your run of the mill basic crappy cable because we don't watch a whole lot of TV and I can't see paying that much for a bunch of stuff we don't watch. I have a hard time paying what we do for cable and have considered cancelling a few times and just watching our stuff online. We have Netflix and I find that we spend more time watching stuff streaming through there than we do on actual cable. The only thing our cable is good for is watching the news and channel surfing, lol!

    I did have some luck this weekend with getting her to watch some stuff on PBS. She was really in to Curious George and somewhat in to Cat in the Hat. She's still so-so with Sesame Street. Some stuff with catch her attention but she seems to lose interest in it rather quickly.

    And don't worry, I've been having blow ups with DH lately too. He's been away for 5 days on a fishing trip with his dad. I kind of lost it when he called last night saying he wanted to stay an extra day. I seriously have not slept in 4 nights, partly beacuse Olivia was up and partly because I just don't sleep well when he's away. He's always going away on these kinds of trips. When do I get a break? Then he says that he tells me all the time to go do something for a few days. He only says that because he knows it won't happen. I'm sure the day I tell him "hey, I'm going away for a few days, have fun" he will completely lose it on me and call me every 20 minutes about how to do this or that. He says not, but I know better, lol. It also doesn't help that I'm just purely exhausted. He doesn't get it. He yells at me and says that I just need to go to bed earlier. It's not just that. My body is goign through a massive transformation right now. I wish men could experience our lives for just one day. I swear they wouldn't make it through the day, lol!

  10. labby06

    labby06 Active Member

    OMG, I can't freaking believe this. I told DH that as payback for leaving me alone for 5 days that he was doing bath and bed because I was tired of the fighting with her. He said ok fine. Well wouldn't you know she's a perfect little angel in the tub. A far cry from the screaming, stomping toddler that I had to climb in the tub with just to keep her from slipping and falling that I had to deal with. Then he gets her ready for bed, I said good night to her and he walks her back, she climbs in bed, he says goodnight and he walks out. She STAYED in her bed and went right to sleep! WTF!!!!! As soon as I walk out of the room she starts screaming and comes running out. I have to lay on her floor or sit by the door for over an hour until she falls asleep. Ugh, he's doing bath and bed every night if this is how she is going to be for him! So of course now he says "I don't know why you complain so much about how hard it is to get her down, this was cake" Ugh, I wanted to punch him in the balls so hard!!!

  11. TDG

    TDG New Member

    LOL...oh man labby...thats the worst. I used to have the same issues---kids acting awful for me and perfect for df, until he started doing baths n bedtime every night(since I got preg with W) now they are just as bratty for him! Haha Every dad should spend a week alone with thier kids so they get the real picture of life as a mom and all we do. See how freakin fast they get burnt out. Id kill to be able to get df preg...even just for 2 in the beginning when you are exhausted n feel awful and one for the end when everything hurts and your organs are squashed and every move takes 10x more energy than you have. lol.

  12. labby06

    labby06 Active Member

    Well I spoke too soon, lol! After about 15 minutes she came running out of her room. He's been back there with her ever since. I keep checking in on the camera and she's rolling around in bed and he's just kneeling next to her. It's about time he deals with it, lol!

  13. labby06

    labby06 Active Member

    Well he only lasted a half hour then came out and said "she's just going to have to stay up because I'm done." I said no, that's not the answer and marched her back to her room and laid on the floor until she fell asleep which took about 20 minutes. Somehow I knew I would be the one putting her to bed tonight! He just doesn't have the patience to deal with it, and it really tests my patience as well. I'm just glad I could throw back the "that was cake" statement at him!

    And of course she's finally asleep and now a thunderstorm is rolling in. I hope it doesn't wake her!

  14. Alluring-Ash

    Alluring-Ash Super Moderator Staff Member

    lmao, about all the ball punching going on in here [​IMG]

    DG- I hope P had a wonderful 2nd birthday and tell her daddy to lighten up, she is still *just* 2. Do people not understand that 2 is still very much a baby or toddler stage? What do they expect out of them at this age? Ugh, not in re: to your DH but in in the general life of living with a 2 year old myself and this being an issue lately. How was the cake? Welcome to the terribles [​IMG]

    Nika- Ughh ... Where to start with the family drama...Let's just end it with you are too kind! Those boys could really use you in there life for stability, maturity, discipline and most of all love, but like before, your family MUST come first. I am so sad for them. I wish their mother would step up to the plate and stop trying to play housewife... Glad all is ok with the girls but sounds like some good "ball bashing" needs to be going on your way too! Pshh.... boys....

    Labby- Is the night time disaster in the air? It has been going on our way too! Hope she gets better about it soon! We just have to close the door and let him scream or else he will take advantage and not go to sleep at all! Good luck with it all.

    Wish I had time to comment for everyone but I am so beyond tired right now and want to crash while the house is quiet!

    Night guys!!

  15. Bron

    Bron New Member

    Labby glad your DH did see its not so easy - men though can just give up and hand it over to Mom. I can't remember what we did at age 2 with Laurana - I know up til 18 months I used to also sit on the floor in her room reading a book til she fell asleep as she screamed if I left the room. If you are going to be in there every night try and make it comfortable and have something to do! And give DH bath time at least - he needs to be involved and you need a break.

    TDG lol, men and food - at least he fed them. I must say if I get anything down Laurana in the morning then I am happy even if its half a banana - she's terrible about eating breakfast.

    DH rearragned Laurana's room yesterday - I'll have to get in there and sort out some things, but he wanted to give her a bed side light in the hope she wont come to us in the night - lol, it never worked. He's dealing with her every night and she has only slept through once since the baby was born so I think he is desperate. Personally I think he should sleep elsewhere and I don't mind handling them both one night, but Laurana will go and find him anyway - she is a total Daddy's girl at the moment.

  16. labby06

    labby06 Active Member

    Ash - it must be in the air. Last night was terrible again, but I told DH he was on duty last night. Of course just because I didn't get out of bed doesn't mean that I wasn't awake each time she got up. I had a bit of a meltdown this morning crying that I NEED to sleep. He got away for 4 nights of solid, uninterrupted sleep. I can't tell you when the last time was that I could say that, and those nights he was gone were 100x times worse because I think she knew things weren't "normal". Hopefully now that he's home she will get back on track. He doesn't have a little one growing inside of him sucking all the energy out of him. I am seriously to the point of not being able to function and now I have to sit at a desk all day and deal with all of the BS here. I'm seriously going to lose it.

    The problem is she can open her door, so keeping her IN her room is super difficult. I don't want to lock the door in case there were to be some sort of emergency that we need to get in there fast, unless we turn the doorknob around so it locks from the hallway side instead of in her room. Hmm, maybe I'll have to investigate that option. When you get out of bed she will go right back in to her bed, but again will scream if you leave before she's asleep. It's not even that I have to be in her bed or even right next to it. Last night I sat at the door for 20 minutes. Every few minutes she pops her head up to make sure I'm still there.

    I think part of last night had to do with the jammies he put on her too. Sometimes I wonder. I was waiting for him to ask me what she should wear to bed, even though she has a drawer full of pajamas which he is well aware of. He didn't ask which surprised me. I said goodnight to her before he got her dressed so I didn't see what he put on, but figured he's a smart guy, he has good judgement. Well, he put heavy FLEECE zip up pj's on her! She was probably waking up because she was so darn hot! She loves cuddling up with her blankets, so I can only imagine how hot she must have been which may have contributed to the waking. I was going to yell at him this morning about it but I just didn't have the energy to even get into it. I guess I need to pack those pj's away for good so he doesn't put them on her again in the middle summer, lol!

  17. Alluring-Ash

    Alluring-Ash Super Moderator Staff Member

    Awww! Well hopefully tonight is a better night. Noah learned to open his door too, so we put one of those child protection knob covers on his side of the door. He can not get the door open with that. He had a few spurts at that age with sleeping too, but they where short lived ( a week or so ) I think routine is a big part of keeping sanity when they hit about 18mos. Do you think that she does it because she knows you guys will come to her room? It is so hard not to, I know. I have been going to Noah's room with his screaming for "Momma" it makes me so sad but with us if we just let him have his little meltdown with no interruptions he will get back in his bed after just a few minutes and go to sleep. If we go in it is like starting all over from scratch.

    Either way, I hope she starts sleeping better and you can catch a break! I remember being so stinking tired and Noah being so wild and wanting to climb all over me and play when I was first PG with K. It is really hard! Good luck!!

  18. Bron

    Bron New Member

    Labby hope you can get a break soon - its probably all just too much with the pregnancy too. I know with Laurana we told her we'd come back in 2 minutes then left her to cry for 2 minutes if necessary and then 4 minutes and so on til she fell asleep and we still do that now but she was older when we started that so could understand better. If she gets out of bed during that time the time starts again (so if we told her 6 minutes and she got out of bed at 5 minutes then the 6 starts again) It took ages to really work but it works well now.

    I have conveniently forgotten the first trimester of last pregnancy - all I know is it was hard, very hard, so hang in there.

  19. TDG

    TDG New Member

    Id rather take care of 10 toddlers than just one while being preg. I just get SO exhausted and feel so moody and bad when preg it takes very little to get me to a breaking point.

    B and E used to be so good about staying in bed but both of them are terrible now--since Waylon was born n the schedule went to hell. They dont even cry tho..they very quietly sneak into our bed. Neither of us even wake up. Not sure how to handle it...we tried a baby gate at their door but they just knocked it down. I try to just remember some day they wont want to snuggle with me at all but when youre crazy exhausted its hard not to want to just duct tape them to their beds! lol. Last night df got up to pee, and Evan comes running in, gets in dfs spot(I think he thought I was sleeping) he laid on his back with his arms straight out to the sides, closed ONE eye and pretended to snore loudly. Omg I nearly died laughing. I think he really thought he could fool us into thinkin he was sleeping but he looked ridiculous. lol. It must be a monday--Im not sure whos more exhausted and crabby, me or the kids!

  20. labby06

    labby06 Active Member

    Lol, TDG! That is so funny about stealing DH's spot! Our dog does the same thing on the couch and DH gets soooo mad at her! She's not allowed in our bed though. That's still a dog free and what I hope to keep kid free area.

    I found a child lock thing for the type of doors we have with the lever handle (which is why she can open it so easily). I called DH and told him to stop and pick one up on his way home since he goes past Target and I don't. So we're going to give that a try. I know exactly how it will go. She will pull at the door and start to cry/scream/kick when she realizes she can't get it open. Hopefully she will just give up and go back to bed, but I'm not too optimistic of that at this point. I am tempted to just put her back in the crib so she can't even get out, but she was so close to climbing out of it before which is why I moved her in the first place, so I don't think that would work so well either. I have a feeling tonight is going to be one rough night!


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