Low self esteem, depression, anxiety, slightly bipolar use relationship for sanity

Discussion in 'Mental Wellbeing' started by JenR, Mar 14, 2015.

  1. JenR

    JenR New Member

    I feel so bad about myself. I realize that I use my marriage (my husband) to make my life even livable or worthwhile. I tell myself my marriage is so great but really it's not. Its like I have to convince myself it is because it's all I have. My mental stuff is disabling so I can't work and lately I feel well I know that my looks have gone way downhill. No decent guy would want a middle aged woman who can't even support herself or her children. So I am with my husband because I have nowhere else to go and no one else would want me. He doesn't really care about my feelings or try and be a good partner. I have to act perfect so we can get along. Always telling him how fabulous he is Yada Yada yada. I feel so trapped And so alone.

  2. MatthewM

    MatthewM Member

    Hi JenR.

    I think you're looking at this from a couple odd angles. First, it's never true that someone has nothing to offer. You never know what will appeal to someone about someone else, and believe it or not, not all guys use looks as the one and only measuring stick. (Also, you're probably downplaying yours more than it's justified. It's human nature to look for our flaws.) Second, if your husband doesn't care about your feelings or try to be a good partner, he's not suitable for you. So I think you'd do better looking at it from a more seemingly egocentric point of view. It's not actually ego, it's just basic equality. He has to put in equal amounts as you, end of story, and if he doesn't, he's not carrying his weight and isn't doing what it takes to keep you around.

    You have value, so maybe you should start acting like it and respect yourself. :)


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