Keeping the Faith: TTC 12+mo. **Part 6**

Discussion in 'Overcoming Infertility' started by gutterflower, May 20, 2011.

  1. Jodi528

    Jodi528 New Member

    AF started on Tuesday. So we have to make the final decision between IVF and adoption. There are pros and cons to each option so it is going to be a tough one. I am going to call the doctor's office to get a little more information on the cost and procedure for IVF and I am going to also contact the local Domesitic Services office to see what the plan would be if we chose to adopt. My husband said if we adopt he would prefer to do a domestic adoption.
    At least this month I didn't have my hopes up so high and I'm not completely devastated like I was last month.

  2. BunnyGirl19

    BunnyGirl19 Super Moderator Staff Member

    I'm sorry Jodi!

    This cycle is out for me, but we weren't able to time well so it's expected. I'm waiting on AF now with no sign except for cramping and a big temp dip. I should at least be spotting right now but am not. Kinda weird I think since it's not typical.

  3. Jodi528

    Jodi528 New Member

    Just thought I would pop back in to say that my husband and I have come to a decision between IVF and adoption. We are chosing adoption! I don't think that I could handle it if we tried IVF and it didn't work. I would blame myself and be miserable. So we have decided that there are lots of children out there that need homes and we could give them a good one. We have our first consultation tomorrow evening. We are very excited and nervous!!

  4. BunnyGirl19

    BunnyGirl19 Super Moderator Staff Member

  5. Confused-Hasya

    Confused-Hasya Active Member

    Jodi, I hope your decision turns out fabulously for you! All the very best. Here's hoping that you're a mother soon.

  6. MyrtleWarbler

    MyrtleWarbler Super Moderator Staff Member

    Jodi, adoption is an amazing way to build a family! My bff adopted her son after 7+ yrs of infertility. How did the initial consultation go?

  7. BunnyGirl19

    BunnyGirl19 Super Moderator Staff Member

    Any updates from anyone? It's so quiet in here!

  8. Jodi528

    Jodi528 New Member

    Our first consultation was a bit overwelming. That agency wanted us to pay $15,000 up front, another $13,000 once matched with a birthmother, plus we would have to pay $3,000 for a home study, $8,000 to finalize the adoption, and they wanted up to $5,000 for the birth mother expenses. So when you add that all up it was going to cost about $44,000!!!!! I also found a website with other adoptive parents and asked a couple of them who used this particular agency and was told not to use them as they were not good people.
    I contacted another agency but DH and I would have to be members of a church and be actively involved in that church. We couldn't meet that requirement.
    So we are on to agency number 3 and will attend a free seminar on December 3rd. I am also considering looking into our local DSS to see about doing foster to adopt. I'm really not set on the child "having" to be a newborn. However, I'm not sure that I could handle a child that has problems because of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome or Drugs.
    If anyone has any advice or information, I would love to hear it. We don't really know anyone that has done a domestic adoption. A few of our friends/family have told us that they can get us in contact with someone that has adopted but they have all done international. Some have even gone on a waiting list for China and waited 5 years! DH is already 40 and we don't want to wait that long! He's already a little apprehensive about becoming a parent because he is afraid that he'll be an older father. I try to quiet his fear because we've seen that quite a few of his classmates have just had children.

    On a side note, AF was due around November 2nd but there is no sign yet. Well actually I had a few signs around that time that I thought she should arrive. Even had some slight spotting. I've taken two tests that came up BFN. I don't know if my body is just having a hard time adjusting after having two months of fertility drugs or if it is just the PCOS. Part of me wishes that it would just show up and quit giving me false hope! The other part of me thinks that maybe this is my reward for not being able to have children...that I don't have to deal with AF every month!!!

  9. BunnyGirl19

    BunnyGirl19 Super Moderator Staff Member

    Good luck Jodi! SO and I had looked at adoption 2-3 years ago and it was way too expensive for us too, $35K-$50K depending on who we talked to. Adopting out of foster care is much, much cheaper and a "perk" is that you get free Medicaid from the state until that child turns 18 so you wouldn't have the health care expenses you otherwise would (not a big deal to me because I get insurance from my work at no cost to me or dependents and $5 copays for everything). That would help offset costs if you did adopt a child with special needs. SO and I found it was much, much cheaper to hire a surrogate and at least with that your child would be biologically yours. In any event, we decided it wasn't for us and we'd be childless if necessary.

    I just finished my last day of Clomid today and am expecting to O next week. I should be O'ing on Thanksgiving if my body cooperates like it should. I'm hoping we can actually time things this cycle since my RE let me do fertility treatements. I just have to take SO's BP medications away from him starting on Sunday or Monday. They cause him some major issues with ED intermittently and it's really frustrating when he can't function and you need to BD at a certain time.

  10. Confused-Hasya

    Confused-Hasya Active Member

    Good luck Jodi! I don't know much about it. Hope it works out for you!

  11. BunnyGirl19

    BunnyGirl19 Super Moderator Staff Member

    I'm frustrated right now. My RE gave me Clomid this cycle and today at CD19 still no O. And I've had positive OPKs since CD15. I don't know what gives. I had a follucle scan that showed growth and the last two cycles without meds I O'd CD17 and 19.

  12. PaulaKoala

    PaulaKoala New Member

  13. rectina

    rectina New Member

    I'm doing good on this end!


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