Is she cheating?

Discussion in 'Female Sexuality' started by Guest, Nov 9, 2005.

  1. Guest

    Guest Guest

    Several months ago my wife switched to wearing thong underwear when dressing for work saying that she was trying to eliminate VPL. More recently I bent down to pick up some dirty clothes to take to the laundry room, including the thong panties she had changed out of upon arriving home from work. When I picked the small pile of clothes up I felt something sticky, and wet. When I got to the Laundry room I realized the sticky wet stuff was in the crotch area of her thong. Although it appeared similar to semen, it was not the same consistency. there is rarely a day now where I don't notice this substance in her thong, and some days the amount is substatial. Could she simply be getting aroused at work? Masturbating? Or, having sex with someone? Being a man I obviously don't know the first thing about vaginal secretions.

  2. Eres

    Eres New Member

    I know this isn't what you want to hear, but that really doesn't sound good, man. A small amount of discharge is normal (my wife has worn panty liners since our son was born), but the change in behavior is what worries me. Best case scenario, maybe she's just having a mid-life crisis or something. I think I would confront her about it expressing exactly why you have concerns. If she isn't having an affair, I think she'll understand if you're diplomatic about the way you broach the subject. If she is, well, it's better that you know (she could be risking your life).

  3. Guest

    Guest Guest

    Curious cat,

    I think you should just know for your peice of mind that a HUGE percentage of women have clear or whitish grey sticky(pretty odourless)discharge everyday of the month.I have has since I was 13 and s do all of my girlfriends,i used to hide it from my boyfriend as I was embaressed(it's not the most attractive thing!)but once he had seen it i didn't bother hiding my panties,just know that it's very common,plus I find seaman has a distinctive smell(I'm not saying you should sniff her underwear but...),the discharge does not really smell of anything than female scent.I guess the only way to find out is to ask but just bear the above in mind.It is very common and very normal and it does kind of look like sperm i guess.hope that helps.

  4. Guest

    Guest Guest

    Oh and btw,
    thongs are renowned for giving girls irritation and infections because of they way they rub and...go up so more discharge would be normal.Especially if they are made of synthetic material...jus anothet thign to bear in mind.

  5. Guest

    Guest Guest

    I guess the quetion is, what is a normal amount of discharge? I don't want to hit the panic button, and start a conversation about infidelity if I'm not on solid ground. When I check later after her panties have dried, you don't see the same tell tale stain as semen. We have a great marriage, but I've learned that's not guarantee against infidelity. Her best friend who works in the same office was recently having an affair with a coworker, and I was the one who confronted her telling her she was putting too much at risk - her job, her marriage (which by all accounts is in great shape), and everything else would follow suit. I did not tell her husband. I was able to confront her because I knew - In this case I don't. I should probably hope that a gynecologists sees this post, and tells me what is normal -color, texture, amount, etc , so I know if I'm being a paranoid husband, or if I have something to be concerned about. Thanks for your input though. P.S. Don't know if the mid-life crisis thing is what's up, but she's in her early fifties.

  6. Guest

    Guest Guest

    Thanks Holi - At least I have some more information to weigh. What is a normal amount of dicharge? Anything else to look for, Color, etc?

  7. Guest

    Guest Guest

    Holi - never noticed it before - possible some biological change could've made it start recently? I believe what you're telling me is accurate, and therefore a good thing for men to be aware of so they don't start getting goofy paranoid like me.

  8. Eres

    Eres New Member

    For the women, do you think it would be ok for him to ask in this situation. I would say something like, "Honey, I couldn't help but notice you've started wearing sexier underwear and have noticed some other things which have got my mind racing. I'm probably being silly, but I can't help but worry that maybe there's something coming between us." If my wife said that to me, I would completely understand given the circumstances (if nothing was going on). Granted, she'll probably lie if something is going on, but at least you can guage her reaction.
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 24, 2013

  9. joemhc

    joemhc New Member

    Dude... The same thing happened to me. I was picking up laundry and noticed one of my girls thongs and saw this white @$#%^@ on them and i can't even tell you how hard my heart started pounding. so i kept it quiet and just looked at them the day after and the day after that and so on until it was an everyday ritual that i looked at her panties and noticed this stuff. so i confronted her on it asking bassically the same way that ERES suggested. she got very embarrassed and told me that she has had that since she has been about 12. she was very embarrassed by it and told me that she was sorry that i saw that. i knew she was telling me the truth because of her reaction to it when i asked her about it. Personally, i don't think that you have anything to worry about. but... then again.. women are shady.

  10. Guest

    Guest Guest


    Does she wear them for you?
    Does she wear them to be sexy for you?
    Does she feel sexy wearing them?

    The answers to these will tell you exactly what going on. You might want to track her one day when you know she is wearing one of these if the answers to the questions above scare you


  11. Guest

    Guest Guest

    Don't worry. This substance you're referring to is a normal discharge and shouldn't worry you. I always have it on my underwear. Its discusting I know but natural.

  12. Guest

    Guest Guest

    Based on the replies to my post from the women in the group I feel more relaxed about the situation. I think men tend to be a bit more cynical when it comes to the issue of female infidelity. The women who responded gave me some biological explanations that don't involve sex. That doesn't rule it out, and I might be being a little naive, but I doubt most people who have affairs in the workplace have sex every day! Anyway, thanks for all your input.
    KeithNy - the answers are: I originally bought them for use in the bedroom, but she never wore them there or elsewhere for the longest time, then one day she wore them to work, and bought several more pairs for wearing to work as well. I never asked her if she felt sexy in them, so I don't know.

  13. KarenM

    KarenM New Member

    Hi, take it from me the discharge is normal. And because she's in her fifties, she is probably trying to make herself feel sexy to her self. I am a woman ( age 35 ) and I wear sexy underwear when I go out on a night out with my friends ( and of course when I go out with my partner )It is to make me feel good to myself because as every girl knows feeling good starts with your bra and pants.
    Perhaps she has younger female friends who have given her the VPL vibe?
    Anyhow, a womans discharge can change; ie I have stopped BCP to try for another baby and I am swimming in it!
    If my partner checks my knickers he'd have a fit. But I do give him an update on this now an then LOL
    If you are right though she will bw found out anyway.

  14. Guest

    Guest Guest

    curious cat,

    I agree with Karen m,the discharge is normal and she may well have had advice from a girlfriend about the vpl stuff,it is true and that exactly the sort of thing we girlies talk about on our lunch break,oh and the fact that men are not to be trusuted lol!(only joking)
    have had another thought,you said she's in her early fifties well,some women start to go through the change(menopause)arounf then and that would be another perfect explanantion as hormone changes will alter the discharge in apperance,colour my experience it can be anything from transparent ,to grey,to white small amounts (a little dot)or large(a table spoon)in my experience ,also have you ever looked in wifes underwear before this?i mean really looked,maybe it's always been there but you havn't noticed anyway.
    You'll find out one way or anothter

  15. Seashelles

    Seashelles New Member

    Curious cat,

    I am in agreement with all the others here - discharge is normal, and can be embarrasing for a woman to admit to. Sometimes it's heavier than normal - I find particularly round ovulation.

    But clearly the main issue here is one of communication and intimacy between you and your wife, if you need to come to a forum (which is a good thing!) to sort out an issue like this. Personally I find I avoid wearing sexy underwear to work and save it for my boyfriend, simply because I find thongs relatively uncomfortable and I'd rather he was the one who got the enjoyment out of them.

    Maybe your wife's different, and it's very important to be sensitive with and issue like this but I'd try to talk to her. I believe (and this is just my opinion) that women and men should be sexiest to eachother when in a monogamous relationship. Hope things work out for the best, and keep the faith because although I disagree with the comment "women are shady", it's true to say that we're not always the best communicators of our innermost feelings and sometimes need a little help.

    Best of luck.
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 24, 2013

  16. Guest

    Guest Guest

    check her underwear after shes been home with you all day long. Ive noticed that when my wife goes to work she always has this stuff in her panties but after being home all day with me i notice none of this which leads me to believe shes being sexuaally aroused or worse at work.

  17. Raunchy-Row

    Raunchy-Row Super Moderator Staff Member

    Also keep in mind that it has to do with the panties.....if I have panties on that ride up in the right place they do rub some spots that your normal granny stuff doesn't. Also, discharge can change from week to week, I have some weeks where I have discharge that looks exactly like...well....and usually about one week a month where I have none. But I agree with everyone on here--just ask! Chances are she'll blush bright red and that'll be that [​IMG]

  18. Guest

    Guest Guest

    WOW! Don't rummage in black linen. This is my advice.

  19. Guest

    Guest Guest

    get your self a black light the ones they use in disco's go in to a dark room hold it over the panties if it glows then its sperm if it does not then its all her juice.

    theres somthing in spearm that will make it fluorescent cant remember what the exact name of it now, but i have seen it on the internet before. i think it was on some forensic site.

    p.s some washing powders will glow also but if the stain its self reflects the light then id confront her about it or follow her


  20. Guest

    Guest Guest

    If she was cheating, why would she leave her underwear around for you to see? I really doubt that she's doing anything shady. As most of the women have said, discharge is completely normal. The thong underwear is most likely only for the panty line issue. I know when I started be very aware of my panty lines I bought new underwear to try to get rid of them. I wouldn't worry at all.


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