On a hot, humid, stagnant summer afternoon in Dothan, Alabama two old men are playing checkers on the front porch of the general store. An old hound dog is laying at their feet. At some point the dog stretches, reaches back and begins to lick his own genitals rather conspicuously. The first old man speaks up quietly and says "you know what Jim Bob? There been times I wished I could do that." Jim Bob shook his head with disgust and said "No you don't. Ain't worth it. "You mean to tell me you tried it!" "Yep" "And it ain't worth it?" "Nope, hurt like hell!" "Did you crick you neck?" "Nope" "Did you throw yer back out?" "Nope" "Then what hurt so bad?" "Dern hound dog bit me!"