FEELINGS TOWARDS BF/ DH PART 6!

Discussion in 'Archived Discussions' started by D 4 A, Aug 16, 2007.


 
  1. Cheryl175

    Cheryl175 New Member

    I didn't get weird feelings about my bf til i was off the pill. I was feeling depressed on it (got quite bad) so came off...them BAM...anxious that I didn't love him, he would irritate me more, this is the guy i want to marry so it scares the life out of me. It got less about 2 weeks ago altho now the week before im due on it's come back in waves...so I deffo think it's a hormonal thing.

    I also get paranoid...not so bad as you but my bf started a new job today and a guy from the work text him asking if he wanted to get a coffee first...i immediately assume this guy is gay and after my bf...how crazy is that!!!

    Babyblue just keep talking on here...message me if u like i could use a buddy as well. Its the worst thing ever but if you dont start improving dont be afraid to quit the pill althogether. 8 weeks on and im still trying to shake off the effects... mainly the depression [​IMG] Kills me... i know how you feel! xx

     
  2. jbrbabe

    jbrbabe New Member

    Hi Baby Blue

    I starting taking the mini pill cerazette and within 7 days to two weeks I was crying all the time, questioning my very loving relationship, feeling insecure and generally awful.

    I personally chose to stop after two packets, I just couldn't take anymore and neither could my other half.

    Everything you describe sounds like how was feeling, I was so down and depressed.

    You have to do what feel right for you although I am so glad I stopped when I did because I have been off the pill for 8 weeks now and I'm still trying to feel like I did before I took it.

    Take a look at some of the other topics I think they'll help you and help you feel better :eek:)

    xx

     
  3. floss

    floss Member

    Hey ladies
    This is my first post here and I'm crying at my desk as I write it.

    I really think the pill has left me a crazy person, and the focus of my craziness is my relationship.

    I started on mercilon because I met my boyfriend (10 mths ago) and at first thoguht it was great (previously had moodswings on microgynon) but had doubts about my relationship. I put this down to always having been an over-thinker, and not enjoying my job v much.

    It got to the stage where I was crying in the shower every day before I thought I should come off the pill. The doctor was sceptical but said I should if I wanted to.

    Ever since I have felt ten time worse - every day my brain is buzzing constantly with doubts about my boyfriend - whether he is 'good enough for me' and so forth. I've even been worrying that when I start to feel better I will not want him anymore because he will bore me?!

    He is the kindest, sweetest man in the world and treats me brilliantly, though I'll admit we've had some ups and downs due to him being cautious (he had newly broken up when we met and it took a few months for him to commit to going out).

    I am permanently exhausted, I've lost weight and feel like I'm losing my marbles. Reading 'Stop Thinking Start Living' has given some brief relief, and I'm giong to see a hypnotherapist tomorrow who has helped me in the past with phobias.

    Can anyone tell me how long it took for them to feel like their hormones were getting better and the thoughts calming down??

    Thanks for reading x

     
  4. EnoughAlready

    EnoughAlready Active Member

    You need to get that under control, obviously. Every girlfriend I've ever had has had paranoia except for the woman I'm with right now. She does have anxiety, but she's on Lexapro for it and it's awesome. We're getting married and we'll be TTC and I'm not sure if I want her to go off of it. When she's not on it, it's horrible. She's a total freaking off the charts biatch.

    Like, I can't stand her for a day when she's not on her meds.

    On the other hand, as far as paranoia goes, it's really just an attitude. Some people wait for evidence before they move on for being disrespected. The guy who wants to have coffee with your guy could be gay and after your boyfriend. So what? Gay people exist and they hit on people.

    Do you really think your boyfriend can't handle himself, or do you think he's really gay underneath it all?

    It's tough, but you've got to let it go. You never know what's going on.

    Besides, as Kurt Cobain sang years ago, "Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not after you."
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 8, 2013

     
  5. Guest

    Guest Guest


    this is due to bc issues not because she is crazy or has bf problems. when hormones are back in balance all will b fine
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 8, 2013

     
  6. EnoughAlready

    EnoughAlready Active Member

    That would be cool. Maybe the paranoid/anxious women I've dated in the past were all hormonal. They weren't all on the pill or just getting off of it.

    Some women are just emotional. It's good, Cheryl15, that you see it as external from you, at least. Women I dated couldn't see that. They really could tell the difference between a thought, which is "I'm afraid that a gay guy might be hitting on my man," and reality, which is "A guy who works with my guy wants to take him out for coffee and that's it; if there's more, it's too early to tell, but I'm having weird feelings about it."

    So, you're a step ahead.

    Good luck!!!

     
  7. Cheryl175

    Cheryl175 New Member

    Hey,

    Yeah I was never like this before...got to be hormonal...ive had a load of other stuff like depression/sickness/insomnia...

    Turns out all the new staff were invited... just my stupid brain going into overdrive. When I'm not with my bf I'm paranoid I dont love him etc... all the symptons that other ladies will pill problems have mentioned!!

    Cheers though guys...hope these feelings disappear...like I really want them too because my bf is amazing...which i could feel happy [​IMG]

    Keep going ladies...keep understanding men [​IMG]!

     
  8. Bitter B*tch

    Bitter B*tch New Member

    I have never seen this thread before!

    I am off the pill now for 3 months as of January 1, 2011. I am still having issues hormonally. I hate it, I can't wait to be normal ME again. Thank goodness my boyfriend is so close with me he noticed the changes as did I, we did something about it and he said he would stick it out with me, no matter what:) What a good guy! Even when I am insane!

    Lately, he jsut started working nights and I have trouble being at home by myself now. I am terrfied at night, it takes me hours to calm my nerves to sleep as every noise I think is that someone outside...??! I know, I NEVER was like this BEFORE! Among other things, I just don't want to have sex anymore, and before ALL THE TIME. I will never be going on any form of hormones EVER AGAIN! I still feel that I am up and down, it has been 3 months, but after 13 years, I think that is a long time!

    Kudos to everyone for talking/venting everyone needs it:) It will get better, it always does....as my Mom would say!

    Keep your heads up, and keep trying to remain sain and positive!!!

     
  9. floss

    floss Member

    PLEASE help me ladies.

    My doubts about my relationship are crippling me.

    I keep thinking my boyfriend isn't 'good enough' yet the thought of splitting from him makes me want to vomit.

    Please can someone tell me how they dealt with this? I started Magnesium OK last week and St John's Wort today but I can't go on like this.

    I had a day last week where I felt like 'me' again and was excited about seeing my boyf next day - then when I saw him BAM back down again. Previously I've been fine once I'm with him, but this weekend even with him I was bad. I keep wodnering if this means that deep down me and him are wrong.

    My brain needs a rest. Please tell me it gets better. Please.

    Thank you.

     
  10. Bitter B*tch

    Bitter B*tch New Member

    Hello Floss [​IMG]

    I know that I have felt the exact same way about my boyfriend, and he thought I was falling out of love with him. It was so sad, I didn't know what to do. The best thing I can tell you is communication, talk to him, tell him that your hormones are all out of whack, tell him it is not his fault you feel this way. Are you still on some form of birth control?

    I had to go off mine, as it was ruining my relationship/life! I still have ups and downs and it has been 3 months, and 10 days. If you have understanding boyfriend, he will understand:) I cried for no reason, I would get mad at him for no reason, I wouldn't want him to touch me, among other things. Day by day we are getting through it, some weeks are great! Some are awful, he knows that no matter what I will never leave him. Plus I like knowing that he will never leave me, he said no matter what I will always be with you. Just that alone, helps me as I like knowing that I am not alone in this battle.

    So communication is vital, plus if you are still on the pill maybe think of going off?

    Hope this helps:)

     
  11. floss

    floss Member

    Thank you so much for replying.

    The tricky thing with my boyfriend is we've only been going out since early last year, and I went on the pill for that reason so my thinking about us has always been slightly muddled.

    I stopped the pill in OCtober because I had a reached a crisis point of panicking about my rel'ship and about him leaving me.

    A few weeks later we had a row, which led to him opening up about his feelings - he had been treated badly in the past so has been q cautious in this r'ship. He confessed that he wasn't ready yet to say he loved me. This, oddly, was ok with me for a day or two but then the anxiety kicked in.

    I have been feeling paranoid about not being good enough for him, then suddenly last week it switched to him not being good enough for me. Oddly enough, this has coincided with him being very caring and loving.

    I broke down on saturday and he was in shock - I don't want to scare him off by saying how bad it is so merely said I had a bit of a hormonal head. He was v understanding but said I need to just move on. He is right of course.

    But I am constantly (and I mean CONSTANTLY) worrying about whether we are right or not. If someone waved a magic wand and said I would marry him one day and be happy I could cope with this and just write it off as a bad patch for me. Why can't I just do that anyway???

    Thanks for listening, it helps.

     
  12. Cheryl175

    Cheryl175 New Member

    This has been one of the worst things for me... Crippling guilt, tears, feeling like a total bi*ch is how it left me feeling about my perfect bf and perfect relationship. Deffo hormonal as I was starting to feel normal again with him then the week before my period BAM back to square one...now a week later we are fine again. I know it sucks big time...but you really do just have to wait it out...I told my bf about it and told him it was my head and emotions gone crazy and luckily he was very supportive and in turn ended up telling me it was my hormones everytime i went a bit loopy!

    I came off my pill 8 weeks and 4 days ago...just starting to feel a bit better...it all takes time, but looking back I am so much better now. Was horribly depressed :-( Moved home from my student accomodation, got extenuating on all my work, gave up hobbies...it was HELL. Never have I had depression or been tearful...didn't even know what PMS was. It's sure been an eye opener...will never take life for granted again. I cannot wait to have the best summer of my life!!!

    Anyway, don't panic...I used look at happy photos of us before all this started, just to remind myself how i feel when i am ME. I also listened to songs that were out when we got together, reminded me of how good we were...and how good we would be if my hormones werent so messed up.

    Apparently its common... horrible i know but dont do anything rash. Give your bf a cuddle and tell him you love him [​IMG] Keep thiking about you before all this...as that is who u r naturally under all this!

    Message me if you like...im on here all the time lol instead of writing my essays! Eeek!
    Hope everyones okxxx

     
  13. Cheryl175

    Cheryl175 New Member

    p.s me and my bf have only been together since June...

    I too started thinking that maybe i wasn't in love with him. Maybe im still in love with my ex (as we only broke up last march!)
    My bf has been great but admitted he struggles to understand it...altho wouldnt we be freaked out if they started behaving like we are?
    My bf has just got a new job...i hate it because i dont know who he is with what hes doing etc...basically a hormonal paranoid jealous so and so! Youre not the only one...it WILL go promis xx

     
  14. WhiTniZZle

    WhiTniZZle New Member

    To all of those suffering after just coming off the pill, and to those of you having unwanted feeling towrds your BF/DH . . .

    I just wanted to offer a little hope from my own strength and experience:

    I was also on hormonal birth control. I took different kinds through out the 8 years I was on them, but I took whatever kind I was on RELIGIOUSLY! needless to say, it WAS comforting not to have to worry about getting pregnant, and my preiods (if you can even call them that . . . they are truly jsut withdrawal bleeds to comfort you) were right on time. I had gained alot of weight, and was all around not feeling myself.

    So I took the dive last May and decided to come off. The first 3 months were basically hell. I was CONSTANTLY concerned I was pregnant (which is it's own form of insanity) and my fiance is a recovering addict, so that had its own paranoia! ALSO, I anticipated loseing some weight when I came off the pill . . . NADA. I think it is safe to say I was experiencing some mild depression. But fortunately some days were better than others.

    I spent alot of time calling other WOMEN who I knew would understand my feelings and moments of craziness. I avoided calling people like my mom (not to say your mom is this way) who would simply join the grief session with my and start a 'who's life is worse' battle. I called folks who would help me to put my problem into perspective and to help me focus on the right here, right now.

    I also began going to a free meditation class at our local yoga center. This REALLY helped me to learn how to clear my mind AT ANY TIME. I journaled alot, and also took up the practice of writing F#&$ you letters to whoever or Whatever I was having sore feelings towards, and really focus on whatever fears I was experiencing. I WOULD NOT DELIVER THESE LETTERS, but instead I would stick them in a box for me to come back to later. Usually in a month or so when I would re-read one, that problem was not only gone, I had even forgotten about it.

    This was a real opportunity for me to sort of 'restore' my faith in a divine creator, because I noticed that alot of my anxiety and fear wasn't really based on fact, but was definitely based more on things and situations I had created in my head.

    And a look at NOW:

    We got married in October, and are now trying to have a baby! I started focusing on me, and not him. I still have to journal and write letters sometimes, but I am so much better at noticing unhealthy thoughts and behaviors, and I am much more able to take healthy measures to be HAPPY! when AF is approaching, I am typically a little more crazy than usual, but I am very lucky to have caring DH who understands those times.

    ALL in ALL, HANG IN THERE!!! Its a rough time, and it takes a bit, but it sounds like ya'll are wanting to take some real measures to move towards a happier healthier life. Definitely read the forums about the vitamins and herbs that help to regulate your cycles and hormones. They may help you get back there.

    Good Luck!!!

     
  15. floss

    floss Member

    Thank you so much girls - I really don't know what I would've done without this forum.

    Whitnizzle, the news you are married and planning a family brought a tear to my eye. Great news.

    Isn't it scary how influential these pills are?? Why don't GPs/Docs ever understand this??

     
  16. Cheryl175

    Cheryl175 New Member

    [​IMG] wish we had more success stories... well I am on month 2 off...and already better than what I was...

    Floss just remember that everyday that goes is one day nearer normaility. i tell myself that everyday. I looked at the calender today and went wowie is it really the 10th jan...poor me i havent been my happy self for 4 months pretty much...But at the start I couldnt even think about the next day...so it does get better with time. I am still working on it...taking vitamins and just trying to keep busy with my uni work. I refuse to let a stupid hormone imbalance and them stupid pills steal my degree and my relationship!!

    xxx

     
  17. WhiTniZZle

    WhiTniZZle New Member

    Cheryl- that assured attitude is how you get through it. Sheer determination.
    It is. Real shame the effects these things have on so many women, but to keep myself from becomeing extremely angry and resentful, I remind myself that I had almost 8 years of wonderful worry free sex! And the 8 months it's taken me to recover from getting off the pill has in a way been a semi fair trade off. This simple thought helps me to keep from wanting to go postal on some former physicians of mine.

    Floss, I'm glad I could offer some positive inspiration for y'all, hang in there, and keep chatting with ladies on here, YOU aRe NOt alone!!!

     
  18. floss

    floss Member

    thanks again.

    That's a good thing to think Cheryl - about not letting hormones steal your relationship etc. I shall try that.

     
  19. Bitter B*tch

    Bitter B*tch New Member

    I love hearing positive stories as well:)

    Floss, you are doing fabulous by taking control of your situationa and understanding it. I wish I would have known all of the things I learned on here three years ago! I would have not gained 35 pounds, among going insane! Anyhow, I think all things happen for a reason! I know that is a common saying, but they kind of do?

    My bf and I have been together since March 2010, I thought the same at about 4 months, I thought I was not over my insane ex boyfriend? Who I had to call the cops on, I tried not to focus on it too much, but I did tell my boyfriend that I don't feel like myself and he understood.(Some things are better left in your head!) I think the bad relationships that I had when I had issues with the pill before, made me realize that I didn't want those things to happen with my current boyfriend. So I made the decision to go off the pills, which I say I just had a scare of thinking I was pregnant!

    I did find that blogging was a great release of things, this forum was probably what jump started my motivation as I thought more women need to know the effects of BC! I think ginseng helped my mood, as did exercise. I did read a lot of self help empowering books, as they always help me feel more positive about myself after. If you buy them online, then you don't have to buy them in store, or if you have a kindle no one will know what the hell you are reading!

    I think the best thing is to focus on your wellbeing first and foremost, if you feel good people around you will feel that and that makes them happier. Do whatever makes you feel good, I sing in my car on the drive home, boosts my mood so I am not grouchy when I get home! lol, find little things, they then turn into bigger things:) I agree with many things that Cheryl and Whitnizzle say, it happens to all of us! Plus the happy songs is a great one, I always listen to what I think will be our wedding song to make me think of how great of a guy I have:)

    We have already started planning our wedding, we currently live together and things in the past week have been amazing! I know that I am not home free as I still am up and down, but it is refreshing to know that I am going to be back to my old self again someday!

     
  20. floss

    floss Member

    hey ladies

    I was going to post last night to say I felt much more myself again, had everything in perspective etc, then have woken up this morning low again. I don't think the fact it's a wet and grey January has helped.

    Don't know what made last night so much better - the fact my mum had come here for the day and gee'd me up, or the magnesium-ok I've been taking for a week, or the st john's wort I started a few days ago.
    My boyfriend came over and was lovely, though I still had feelings of numbness towards him which scares me. I have questioned him in my head for a lot of our relationship, but then, I've been on the pill for all of our relationship. He is truly the loveliest man in the world, and the nicest boyfriend I've ever had, which is why this questioning is so distressing.

    I am trying to remind myself that my thinking is not logical but I am not finding that v easy.

    IT'S SO ANNOYING!

     

Share This Page