Feelings toward BF/DH part 7

Discussion in 'Contraception' started by Raunchy-Row, Apr 11, 2011.

  1. PinkLeopard

    PinkLeopard New Member

    Hi Rose18!

    Welcome, I wanted to tell you to come over to The Effects of Stopping Birth Control (Part 3) as this board isn't as active anymore. We have ALL been through what you are going through, and I promise you, it's NOT YOU, it's the pill...it has depleted the serotonin in your brain and the ocd thoughts is a result of it. Also, when I felt my worse, I went through all of the old Feelings toward BF/DH threads and it really made me feel better. There are 7 threads on this subject! Just lets you know how much it effects us all, and to assure you that it's 100% the pill.

  2. LostBF22

    LostBF22 New Member

    Hello everyone,

    I am so glad I found this site, it has helped me a lot with a recent breakup. My girlfriend of over 3 years, who I lived with, recently broke things off due to lost feelings, numbness to me, etc. She has been taking BC for over 12 years, but has switched methods many times. About 2 months ago, she had to take an antibiotic which the doctor said would mess with her BC and we should use other methods. This is around the time the numbness and lost feelings started. Obviously, I can't say for sure this was the cause of our relationship falling apart, but after reading all the stories here I have to wonder. I am trying to get her off the pill to see if that has any effect. I just wanted to say thanks for all the stories and any advice on how to do about this would be great.

  3. Evanessa

    Evanessa Member

    Hi LostBF22

    I am sorry you have to face this hormonal hell. The same thing happened to me a year ago, and I can tell you that I was ready to break up with my bf, and we 've been together for 11 years. Infact the first months I nearly broke up with him a looooooooot of time.

    If she has anxiety, depression, and if she feel like there are no real reason why she doesn't love you anymore it can comes from the pill. I felt I didn't love my bf anymore but I didn't know why... and few day before it began evething what normal between us. I was happy with him.

    I am sorry for you and for the people suffering because of these hormonal crap. Tell your girlfriend about this forum, maybe it will help her to read our stories, you can write me if you need to talk (and of course she can too!)

  4. rp11

    rp11 New Member

    hi I am new here and am really struggling with my fiance
    I would love your opinion, because she does not agree with what i think at all.
    Here goes....
    takes Cilest BCP for 1 month in July and has huge water retention in her legs, so stops taking it.
    September & October 2012 she has;
    frequent night sweats, insomnia, waking at 4am and not sleeping, heavy periods, feeling quite low, distant emotionally, and finds 2 breast cysts, and then very swollen painful breast end of November. They went really hard on the outer upper sides.
    I assume this was a hormone imbalance, potentially low progesterone.

    The her doctor prescribes Yasmin to help with the symptoms and once she takes them for December and January, she becomes emotional, depressed, crying for weird things, then unloving and uncaring about anything. then says she does not feel herself, or does not feel normal, and often confused about her feelings.
    She left our 15 year relationship end of January for a few days space, and i asked her to stop the pill, which she did, to my knowledge, as i am sure her changes are down to that.
    She has been off 1 month and she has hardly seen me, and gone from wanting space, to then saying she doesn't love me anymore to now breaking off our engagement.
    When i ask why, she says just because, or says she hates me being better than her at things, so odd.
    considering all of these extreme things that have happened ina few months i am so confused, considering we have always said we are soul mates, best friends and have never had a hint of splitting up in 15 amazing years!
    i would love some feedback because she gets so angry if i say it may be hormone related.

  5. JenniferE

    JenniferE Member

    rp11--I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this. I'm not sure that I have any amazing words of wisdom, but hopefully I'll leave you with something helpful!

    I too was engaged while going on the pill and off. A big part of the side effects for me was feeling numb toward my fiancé, depression, and constant guilt. I felt guilty all the time for not "feeling the love" toward him. However, one night I finally opened up to him about how I felt, and that was the first step of recovery for me. It would be difficult for your fiance to see the connection if she hasn't compared her experience with other women's. Until I found this forum, I was completely lost and convinced that I was losing (or had completely lost) the love for my fiancé. If at all possible, ask her to read through this forum, as well as the one titled "the effects of stopping birth control Part 4". Beyond that, just be as supportive as you can. She may get angry when you say it's hormone related because she may think you're implying that it's just PMS or something like that. If you do discuss it with her, maybe just begin by asking her how she's doing, just in general. She might eventually make the connection on her own if she continues to feel bad. Let us all know how it goes.

  6. rp11

    rp11 New Member

    Thankyou JenniferE
    I appreciate your words. I just can't bear losing the one thing I love, where I have no real reason why.
    The physical symptoms all point to hormone imbalance, and her body has been through so much.
    I hope time is a healer.

  7. Evanessa

    Evanessa Member

    Hi Rp 11

    I am sorry too to hear that another couple suffers because of this hormonal mess.

    I totally agree with JenniferE, if you can ask her to read through this forum.

    We all know how she feels here, I too lost my feelings because of hormones, before I found this forum I was ready to break up with my bf ( we've been together for 11 years now) and I was sure that I was completely crazy. I am still healing and it can be really hard some days.

    Please try to tell her she is not alone and that all the ladies here will be happy to talk to her and help if we can. Write me anytime if you want to talk and it is the same for her of course! Take care.

  8. rp11

    rp11 New Member

    Thanks Evanessa
    I wish she thought she was a little crazy but as far as she is concerned it is normal to just lose love and feelings over a matter of weeks.
    I would understand if we argued a lot, but we don't ever.
    All our friends thought we were a perfect easy going couple, and cant believe her change.

    the worst pain to feel is loving someone who doesn't love you back.

  9. rp11

    rp11 New Member

    well we have had to see eachother over the last few weeks with things we had to do. So now that is finished I am going to give her the space she asks for and hope she feels the love for our relationship again.
    It has been 7 weeks off the BC pill now. not long i know.
    i cant do any more for her.
    Her doctors are useless, however she went yesterday and now she says she is suffering from dizziness, fatigue and shakes.
    He said it is probably side effects, so at least there is some recognition that is has been having an effect.

  10. JenniferE

    JenniferE Member

    rp11--I can't imagine how hard it must be for you, but I think you're doing the right thing. She has to see it for herself to begin the healing process.

  11. rp11

    rp11 New Member

    Thanks jenniferE. it has been so difficult. but today she phoned and said a few things that is showing that she realises she was feeling down a few weeks ago and looking back on it she is starting to notice.
    I will never give up on her, because she is the only woman i have and will ever love.

  12. Evanessa

    Evanessa Member

    Hey rp11

    I really hope everything will be alright for you and your girlfriend, hang in there and write me anytime! We all know how hard it is. Take care.

  13. rp11

    rp11 New Member

    Thanks Evanessa, the kind words have really helped.

  14. Cheyenne24

    Cheyenne24 New Member

    Hey everyone!! I'm new to all of this!!
    So I started taking BC pills in January 2014.. Everything was normal. I had normal sex, was crazy in love with my boyfriend and felt so happy about everything! I JUST RECENTLY STOPPED BC. On April 24, it was mine and my boyfriends 9 months. Nothing was out of the ordinary. I was excited to get home to see him after his baseball practice and kissed him and hugged him like I always do! Later that night we were sitting on the couch and I burst into tears. My bf went to hug me and usually I feel so secure and better when he does that but at that moment everything I felt about him changed. I felt like it wasn't him. I have been in this depressed mood for a week now. And I cry at the drop of a hat. Anxiety attacks. I am worried about mine and my boyfriends relationship. He says he's willing to wait it out as long as it takes for me to get better! I love him so much and couldn't imagine life without him!!! Is it my hormones that could be unbalanced making my feelings and emotions towards my bf like this?? Oh and I also started my period the Monday after I stopped taking BC. HELP ME!!!!! I want to feel normal again

  15. missbliss

    missbliss Active Member

    Hey Cheyenne24,

    I suggest that you re-post your post in the "Effects of Stopping Birth Control (part 5)" thread! You're more likely to get responses because there are a lot more girls who post there on a daily basis -- not sure if people are that active on this thread. Everyone in that thread has dealt with these changes in feelings for their boyfriends. Including me. It's called ROCD (Relationship OCD), its a form of anxiety that happens when you become consumed by the fact that you don't feel the way you're supposed to feel toward your boyfriend/husband/spouse. It's definitely brought on by the hormonal imbalance. Please check out the other thread :) You will be okay!! xoxo

    Here's the link to the thread: http://www.aphroditewomenshealth.co...irth-control-part-5.16096/page-94#post-363758

    Mb xoxo

  16. luna

    luna New Member

    Hi everyone. Please help me or give advice
    I've been on the pill for 3 months now and ive had terrible mood swings throughout and sore boobs but i just took no notice. Then these past few days things have got A LOT worse, i adore my boyfriend and love him with my whole heart. But these paat few days ive been having doubts and horrible thoughts in my mind and then they suddenly go for a few minutes and im happy again, but i soon get sad. Ive stopped taking the pill today and i feel terrible. I cant stop crying and i just want to feel the way i used to feel about my boyfriend its driving me crazy. I know i definitely love him i just want to get back to my old self again. Hes being very supportive but how long do you think ill take to be my normal self again on average? Its driving me mad :( thankyou

  17. Justaman

    Justaman New Member

    Hi y'all,

    Long story but here goes.
    First let me say thank you for all women who have posted their feelings about these horrific chemicals. For clarification I need to know other people's opinions about my situation.
    My wife and I have been married for 18 wonderful years. These years have had their ups and downs. I have known her since third grade and she was after me since we met. I felt soooo much love from this woman that I can't explain it. The ups and downs ( in hindsight) have been around the time of BC. She took Depo and had a Jeckyl and Hyde syndrome with hormonal rage to best describe it. We tried for a long time to conceive and finally had our first. We have had 3 more since then and she has had bouts of PPD. the PPD did get better with each child as she knew what was happening. The last kid was breached and delivered by c-section. Oh how the doc got on to me to get snipped. At the time I was unemployed being in construction and the economy tanking. Could not afford a vasectomy even if I wanted it. She was placed with Merina and low and behold the mood swings started again. She has told me recently she was suicidal on the Merina. To a point of actually pulling the trigger!!!!!!! I cannot fathom this just because of the bright , loving, easy going person she is. She exudes LOVE! When not on birth control we have an awesome marriage!

    Recently, we thought we slipped up and she wanted to go on BC again. I warned her and she persisted to do it . We have had some trust issues and problems, but my perception is all these problems are everyday marital. Finances, kids, work, and nothing we could not work through. Oh and work?! I'll get back to that!
    Recently after some nurse at the health clinic stabbed my angel with a devil rod!, she came to me in just a couple weeks and started crying in the kitchen during the middle of the afternoon, just after we had a nice ride ( Harleys). STRANGE! She explained she did not feel as good as me and I should run off with some nurse at the chiropractors office who had been flirting with me. I did not know about the flirting until my wife told me about this. I usually don't notice this kind of stuff cause I'm not concerned with anyone else. But why would this incident happen in the first place? It was just weird and I kinda ignored it.
    Then she bled for two months and after the bleeding stopped she went out with friends and drove home drunk. I questioned her calmly about this and she had a MEEEEELLLLTTTTDOWN!!!!! She told me all the bad I was causing in the marriage and how she wanted a divorce. Blew my mind!
    She told me I have always worked to much and did not love my family because of this!? She wanted to be treated like a princess not a bad &ss. I never had money just fall in my lap and always had to work very hard to earn it and pay the bills. Plus my princess stayed at home with kids and spent more money than I thought was necessary. I have to work long hours and cannot find another job that pays enough to support us. And really, I pump septic tanks and repair them for a living. Does she really think I would love this more than being with my family?

    We started counseling and it seems that the counselor is just a cookie cutter program, and not taking my concerns seriously. See my wife started having insomnia, hair loss, back ache, neck stiffness, nausea, and mood swings, and more. So I investigated the medicine she was on. Wow what I found about BC!!!!!!! All the problems we are having ironically match to the way she is acting toward our marriage. I don't believe in coincidences either. I brought his to the counselor and her and both of them swept it under the rug. What? I tried to talk to her alone about this and wow, it is like the BC is trying to defend itself as its own possessed demon! She either will have a hormonal guilty meltdown as ( she does not make good decisions) or a hormonal rage fit as she screams at me and tells me how much she hates me. But, but she has not left me yet? She DENIES it is the birth control. Other people including her family has said there is a significant change in her personality. Including her dad. She is daddy's little girl. She also was hesitant about celebrating Thanksgiving and Christmas like we do. She just wanted it to be nonchalant and not a big deal. We have four kids! She has also lost some of her spiritual ness. When I or anyone else talks to her it's like she is very short with us or numb! But when I am short with her she gets irritated. As far as a princess, she was supposed to be our Queen and since the BC she has not accepted the role. Before the BC she was our Queen and did a very good job at it.
    She has agreed to take the devil rod out, but I'm afraid this is just to try and prove me wrong. I also have read on the after effects of this crap. I am scared she will go through significant hormonal change again like PPD, and she will not understand this. I'm scared this will be detrimental to her mental well being and ours. How do I convince her this more than likely is caused by the crap in her arm?

  18. Justaman

    Justaman New Member


    I am scheduled for vasectomy this week and starting a lower paying job with less hours next week.

  19. jac43

    jac43 New Member

    Hi everyone. I want to start by saying how happy I am to have found this thread.. hopefully there are still active people on it! Recently my boyfriend and I decided to move from New York to North Carolina and since then, I have woke up everyday doubting if he is "the one" and if I am going to be happy there having no one other him (side note, this is all during my pms week so I'm still trying to blame that). I have been through this before last December. I woke up one day and cried for hours thinking this was it and I had to leave him. It lasted for days.. I couldn't even look at him without crying, the thought of leaving my bed gave me anxiety, I was having panic attacks about breaking his heart, and so on. This all started on a Tuesday and that Sunday we had tickets to a Jets vs. Giants game. I did feel a little better and the crying slowed down, so I sucked it up and went. I hardly remember being there because I was so disconnected. However, something amazing happened that night... as bad as it sounds, I forced myself to have sex with him (he knew everything I was going through), and right after I got my period!! Within minutes I felt more in love with him than ever before and could run laps I was so happy. Since that night I stopped my pill, which was a generic one Sprintec 28, and we went back to condoms for about 4 months. I changed doctors and started Yaz. I am now on the sugar pills of my 4th month and like I said, I'm starting to get those feelings from December back. Even though I've been through it before, and a second time which came and went fast, I can't help but think this is really how I feel and that moving in together is making it all clear to me. Our relationship is and always has been more than amazing. We've been together for about a year and a half, have never fought and have been unbelievably comfortable and honest with each other. He is the epitome of what I want in a husband.. hard working, attentive, kind, simple minded, spontaneous, etc, etc. It's killing me even more to think that I would ever want anything other than him but now I find myself making excuses like "it wasn't love at first sight so he can't be the one" (we met on Tinder, romantic, I know) "I would never have these feelings if he was the one" "we are not as corny/happy as the couples on tv". I know just while writing this how normal it is to feel this way and I also have hope that once I get my period, it will all go away like last time. It would still be great to hear some advice and hear that I am not the only crazy one out there! Also, if this has happened to anyone, what other forms of birth control do you suggest? I was looking at the copper IUD since it is non hormonal but I'm terrified of getting it put in. At this point though, I'm sick of feeling like this! Sorry for the long rant.. this is the first time I've ever written anything like this in a forum, but I think I need social therapy! Thank you in advance for responding

  20. coto15

    coto15 New Member

    The stories here are heartbreaking, and resonate deeply. Both the Pill and the copper IUD can have a devastating effect on women's health as well as on relationships. I've seen first hand what it did my own beloved fiancee, who coldly and suddenly also walked away (like so many of the stories on here) a few months after having her IUD put in. What people and practitioners need to understand is that, whether you're on the Pill or the copper IUD, BOTH will raise copper, and copper imbalance is at the very root of these emotional changes. The increasing anxiety, depression, panic attacks, and eventual emotional numbness and even personality change all can take hold as estrogen (from the Pill) builds up the copper level in the body. My hope is that this information here (at www.coppertoxic.com) can help other people going through this make sense of things, and understand that it has very little to do with who you are as a couple per se, but rather the psychological and emotional veil that's created by a build up of copper.
    "I would venture to say that divorce courts are loaded with people who's relationships were destroyed by copper toxicity." ~Dr. Rick Malter, Ph.D
    Last edited: Aug 21, 2016


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