Feelings toward BF/DH part 7

Discussion in 'Contraception' started by Raunchy-Row, Apr 11, 2011.

  1. Ellengoldy

    Ellengoldy New Member

    Hi girls. Long time reader first time poster. Iv been off the bcp for about 4 months after being on it about 4 years, and so many changes have happened. Bloated, digestive problems, acne and the worst being depression. This has affected me and my boyfriends relationship and I also feel very clingy/paranoid/ insecure about us over almost nothing. I was never like this at all! I can't cope with much and become very moody and emotional all the time. I'm that close to going on anti depressants! I really don't want to. Iv suddenly decided my boyfriend might be gay and also convinced he doesn't love me. Please help, I think I'm going crazy [​IMG]

  2. Jenna0777

    Jenna0777 Member

    Hey Ellen, this sounds very similar to me! I am four months off this month. I'm definitely better than I was the first month but let me tell you it's still not easy! Do you feel numb towards your bf? You can vent on here as much as you need. A lot of us girls post on the effects of stopping birth control even though the forum has been dead for a while:/

  3. Evanessa

    Evanessa Member

    Hi everybody, how are you all?

    I cannot complain because I feel better than I felt when all of this started, like you said Jenna. But I am not the one I used to be I cannot feel natural feelings for my boyfriend and even family.

    It is like something is wrong, like I fake it or I don't know.

    Hope you all feel better!

  4. floss

    floss Member

    Hi gals, I was just like you for quite a while after coming off the pill. It's v frightening and feels like it's "real" but it does pass.

    I just posted on the other thread but I've found agnus castus v helpful..

  5. Evanessa

    Evanessa Member

    Thank Floss to give us hope. I hope you feel better now

  6. Evanessa

    Evanessa Member

    How are you all? I can tell you I feel better in general. I have less anxiety anger and crying spells. I feel more like myself.

    But concerning my Bf it is still complicated and strange. I can spend some good times with him, but I am not able to miss him or feel excited to see him. I can't really explain how I feel about him. But I keep the faith, some days are betters than others.

    Hope you're doing ok and that you all feel better!

  7. Evanessa

    Evanessa Member

    Hey I would be happy to hear from you all. Hope you are ok!

  8. Retro_Pam

    Retro_Pam New Member

    When I was on it I didn't feel right. NO libido--I timed it to see how long it would take for it to disappear--try three days! Besides that it felt like I could feel my blood pumping through my veins when I tried to sleep (I never got a full night's sleep on the pill) and I was getting weird sensations in my legs which made me nervous because of the dangers of getting blood clots. Not to mention I was spotting and it wouldn't stop, so after only a month I went off the pill and everything returned to normal. I didn't feel like a woman--when I get my period each month, everything feels normal and feminine again. My plan is to buy a Lady Comp and begin tracking my menstrual cycle and have my man (when I find him) use barrier protection on the red and yellow days.

  9. Evanessa

    Evanessa Member

    Hi Pam,

    Thanks for your message of hope. I am happy you feel good again!

    I would love to hear about the other people too! Hope you are going ok!

  10. Evanessa

    Evanessa Member

    Hi again everybody

    I am sad to see nobody wants to answer here, but still I hope it's because you all feel good now!

    As far as I am concerned I still have bad moments, according to my cycle. I still can feel anxiety, irritation or sadness at times.

    But my worst problem remains my feelings. It's been almost 7 months now and I still can't feel that I love my BF or family like I used to. Is it going to be better one day? Or should I just give up ?:(

    I would be happy to hear from someone who is living the same.

    Please take care all of you, and I am really happy if you are all OK now [​IMG]

  11. D Scully

    D Scully New Member

    I'm new here, but I thought I would contribute. It makes me feel less alone to see there are other people with the same side effects as me! Anyway... after being on HBC for 4-5 years, I realized that it was making me sick!

    I had recently developed a heart arrhythmia, that, while not serious (according to the doctor), should still be "watched".

    I did a little digging and realized that my BC could be to blame. Then I began examining my behavior over the past few years, particularly with my boyfriend. I have been argumentative, moody, weird, and recently very detached... almost like I don't love him. And of course I do! so much!!! We have been together for 5 years now, and I want to be with him forever and ever and fart rainbows and hearts and stuff!

    ...so why was I feeling all those feelings, like I wasn't good enough, too fat, whatever, and those paranoid notions that he was doing stuff with other girls, which was of course unfounded? I'm a really easygoing, grounded, normal person, and these feelings are entirely unlike me completely.

    I was normally bubbly, happy and full of life before BC. The past few years, I've been going through the motions. Doing well in school, but mostly just getting by. I even realized that I didn't even like sex anymore! I was just doing it for my boyfriend! And I love sex!

    I've been off HBC, and I initially experienced acne flareups, bloating, constipation, and headaches. However, right now, my skin looks amazing, and I'm actually feeling much better! Also, that arrhythmia went away after a little over 2 weeks off HBC!! I realize that going off HBC might not be the best thing for everyone, so I'm not judging anyone for staying on them.

    My cycles were like clockwork pre BC, so I'm hoping to do natural family planning with Ladycomp and charting once they get going again. Until they do, my boyfriend will use condoms/spermicide. Fight the good fight!

  12. Evanessa

    Evanessa Member

    Hi Dana : p,

    Nice name and picture [​IMG] I lreally liked this character when I was younger ^_^

    Happy to hear you feel better, especially about the arrhytmia, this is really crazy what HBC can do to our body. It is frightening too!

    Anyway happy for you that you're able to feel feelings now [​IMG] For me it is the contrary, it seems that my when my natural hormones/cycle came back, it took away my feelings for my bf.

    But I keep the faith, hope you all feel better here!

  13. D Scully

    D Scully New Member

    Thanks!! ^-^ Dana Scully was a childhood icon of mine, and I have a weird hobby of making gifs out of X Files clips. I'm a graphic designer, so I spend lots of time in Photoshop, LOL.

    I feel just so much better being off that poison. The first week was when I had the most problems, but I'm sure it was just post-hormone body turmoil stuff. I mean, I had been on it for like 5 years or something, so I'm sure my body had to adjust. I did have a skin breakout on my chin right after ovulation this week, but it was pretty mild. Nothing compared to my stress-fueled HIGH SCHOOL acne!!! *dramatic music*

    Your feelings for your boyfriend might come back. Your body might just be still adjusting. Some women take months or years to come back to normal. I always had fairly solid cycles and hormonal patterns, so maybe that's why I'm getting back to normal so quickly. Who knows?

    I hope you start feeling better, soon!

  14. Evanessa

    Evanessa Member

    Hey Dana thanks for your kind words:)

    Again I hope you are fine [​IMG]

    Yeah I understand when you talk about skin problems, I have some too, since my cycle tries to work on its own naturally now.

    I hope my feelings problem will disappear soon, because it is really difficult sometimes [​IMG]

    For the moment I have to deal with anger coming out of nowhere, I am waiting for my period. I really don't like to feel angry like that, for no real reasons. Sometimes it seems like I am looking for something to be angry about,or a reason to quarell with BF or family, really this is annoying [​IMG]

    where is my patience? I want it back [​IMG]

    Take care [​IMG]

  15. IBelieveInUs

    IBelieveInUs Active Member

    hey ladies i'm six months off the pill and still pretty miserable. i'm better than i was a couple of months ago when i was literally bed-ridden and crying hysterically. but i'm still anxious, depressed, sad, irritable, and frustrated. my relationship with the love of my life has become devastating and torturous. deep down, i know how much i love him but i can't feel the love. i'm constantly questioning if i love him, if he's the one, if he's "right" for me. i find him irritating when i NEVER did before. being with him used to be so easy and since the pill, it's been so hard. it devastates me. i want my old, happy, healthy relationship back but after the pill, i feel like a completely different person. so irritable, foggy brained, my mind feels dark and cloudy, i feel panicky, i am miserable. when i ruminate and obsess over my feelings for my boyfriend, my head literally feels like pressurized or something. like my brain literally hurts. i'm so mentally and physically exhausted. i want to feel the love again so badly. i want to enjoy my time with him again without questioning everything and checking my feelings constantly. i hate this. we have a perfect relationship besides this OCD/anxiety. we have tons in common, never fight... we balance each other out perfectly. we're supposed to be moving in soon and I'm putting so much pressure on myself to feel better by then. he's so supportive, thank god. but I am driving myself CRAZY.

    physical issues: random nausea and dizziness when standing, very pronounced blue veins in hands, foggy brain, fluttery stomach, exhaustion, vivid dreams, intense sugar cravings, weight gain. UGH!

  16. Evanessa

    Evanessa Member

    Hi there!

    How are you all? I really hope you feel better [​IMG]

  17. IBelieveInUs

    IBelieveInUs Active Member

    I'm doing a little better but I still have a lot of setbacks and bad days. I miss my patience and understanding. I'm still so irritable, moody, and weepy. I hope this goes away soon. I miss my old self. And I miss my relationship and my love for my boyfriend. Some days, it feels like I'm recovering slowly but surely. Other days, it feels like I'll never get better. How are you feeling?

  18. Evanessa

    Evanessa Member

    Hey Ibeliveinus,

    I just read your post and I could have written it myself. I often say that I miss my patience and my oldself , you're not alone!

    I can't complain I feel ok, still have anxiety and feel irritable around ovulation and period, bad PMS too. But I still can't feel love for my BF like I used to. But I will wait...again.

    I really hope you will feel better soon! Take care!

  19. IBelieveInUs

    IBelieveInUs Active Member

    Sorry you can't feel the love. I know that feeling all too well and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I keep telling myself that if I didn't love my boyfriend, we wouldn't have made it this far and that I wouldn't have good days or good moments sprinkled into the dark days. But it's so, so hard some days. How long have you been off BCP?

  20. Evanessa

    Evanessa Member

    Hey IBelieveInUs, thanks for your nice words, I really hope you will feel better soon too. I am around 9 months off, what about you? Take care!


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