Feelings toward BF/DH part 7

Discussion in 'Contraception' started by Raunchy-Row, Apr 11, 2011.

  1. Raunchy-Row

    Raunchy-Row Super Moderator Staff Member

    Intro: *as posted by D4A*

    Hey! This is the 7th thread of this topic. Here is a group of women who as a result of taking the pill have become depressed/anxious and feeling numb towards their partners and other loved ones. Over 70 women have come and go saying the same things:

    * I don't feel anything for him (or her)
    * I have no sex drive
    * I'm paranoid I'm gay
    * it came on all of a sudden
    * maybe I don't love them anymore etc
    * I'm paranoid I like other men

    Other symptoms I and other women have suffered with are:
    * low libido/non existent
    * IBS-other digestive problems
    * Irregular periods
    * Sweatyness
    * nausia
    * bloatedness

    The main advice is to come off the pill and get to the root of the cause. Sort out the hormones and depression.

    The treatment that we have all sought after are:
    *Acupuncture- this has very much helped me,Chloe1 and D4A. Helping to regulate periods and therefore treating depression.
    * Vitamins (must do these)- Vitamin B6 in particular, zinc, magnesium, evening primrose oil, vitamin b12 liquid if suffering from obsessive thoughts.
    * Natural progesterone cream- with depression-hormone related things it is often oestrogen dominance and therefore low in progesterone. You can supplement it by using (emerita-paraben free) natural progesterone cream. Taken over several months hormones can be restored to normal.
    * counselling- I myself haven't but some women have recommended to do so.

    Please check out all of the other threads in the archive-the other remaining 6 parts are there to explain how exactly we have felt.
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 24, 2013

  2. whattodo89

    whattodo89 New Member

    Hey everyone!
    I guess i'll be the first person to start this one [​IMG] This week will be a better week for me. After a wonderful weekend away with my boyfriend, it was nice to have little moments when i felt like myself again, and I could show him that lovey dovey side of me that just hasn't wanted to come out! Sadly it didn't last long though [​IMG] Tomorrow will be 5 weeks off yaz (aka poison) yayyyy although i havn't started my period yet...took a pregnancy test just to make sure and it was negative phew! So is this normal? I've been having some cramping, assuming i would start next week and still nothing! Hope i shouldn't be worried.... As it goes with my boyfriend, we just keep trying to move forward and look at the positive. He reassures me everyday and tells me that we will fight this and get through this. I tell ya, it's so much better when he's around! It's hard, i have my bad days for sure. I'm trying to just relax my mind a bit when i get that relationship anxiety and say like clark mentioned in a post, "yeah that thought is there but i'm not going to give it the time of day", and it has been helping me a bit.

    And the recovery process continues! Hope you all are having a wonderful week!

  3. whattodo89

    whattodo89 New Member

    also...i find myself getting more paranoid then before! Like how long will he put up with me for, or what if....which deep down i know that he would never do that, and he's reassured me sooo many times that til death do us part he is here and he is going through this with me and wants to share my pain. CAN THIS PLEASE GO AWAY ALREADY!!! i wish i was one of the lucky ones where this just went away in a few weeks....

  4. quittingthepill

    quittingthepill New Member

    Does anyone else feel a strange mix of sometimes feeling SO in love, attached, clingy, needy with your BF/DH and then other times where that isn't there? Usually I'm actually more inclined into the feeling uber love/clingy/needy feeling but I do get both.

  5. Guest

    Guest Guest

    i think the ladies where are "better in only a couple of weeks"
    is a myth !!!! hahahha

    so far not one of us have been that lady !

    hell we are going on at 6-7 months and still not 100% yet

  6. shellawat

    shellawat New Member

    Lol. I agree with you clark! after more weeks, ladies will show what they trully are.

  7. Deboona

    Deboona New Member

    Hey everybody! I am so glad I found this forum!
    Whattodo89 + quittingthepill - I've been having the same issues as you! My boyfriend came down on Tuesday and before hand I'd felt completely hopeless about us, we had 3 wonderful days together where I felt almost like myself again, he left yesterday and I'm already starting to slip back into my bummy mood and negative mind set.
    We've got to keep positive and try to remember the awesome feelings we had when we're feeling like ourselves! [​IMG]

  8. Waterbaby82

    Waterbaby82 New Member

    Hey everyone! Has anyone else had these awful feelings about their boyfriends after they came off the pill or just when they were on it? I was fine when I was on the pill and have really struggled, become anxious and over analysed my relationship for the last 6 months, since stopping it...thoughts please as it feels like I am going mad!!

  9. campengurl17

    campengurl17 Member

    Hey im trying to view all the other other threads, but it want let me. Reading through these post is giving me hope because i am going through all the things listed above and its about to drive me crazy. I know i love my boyfriend and want to be with him, but its like i have no feeling for him. They have put me on depression meds. A little history is i was on alesse for about 9 months when they switched me to nuvaring. During the first month of nuvaring i was fine until it was time for my period. When it was time for my period i went all to pieces. I cried all the time, felt numb and like i had no feelings. I have no joy in anything i do anymore. I have been of birth control for almost 3 weeks and i am soooo ready to feel like my self again. So my question i do you guys have any advice for me? Am i going to feel like myself ever again and feel like i used to for my boyfriend. We have been togather for over a year and everything has been fine. i have no reason to feel this way. Please Help!!

  10. Guest

    Guest Guest

    hey campengurl

    try to post under effects of stopping bc. thats where we all post no matter what your symptoms, or weather u had them due to stopping bc or starting bc or both.

    its just a convienient place to keep us all together on one thread.

  11. hopefulgirl13

    hopefulgirl13 New Member

    Hello, I am new to this forum and am so glad i found it (every new person says that here, lol). For the past two weeks I have been reading these forums and have gone back to read the archives too. I felt so relieved when I first read this and I hope that some ladies on here will be able to give me support and hope. I don't know why I feel so embarrassed to tell this story, even though I saw other women on here have the same issues.

    Just to give you a quick summary of my experiences In October of 2008 I started Ortho Tri Lo. I was on it for a whole year. In January of 2008 I started dating a guy that I was head over heels in love with. He left to go overseas for a yaer but we decided to do long distance. I continued taking the pill. In the beginnign of June 2008, my friend told me about how she had just found out that her most recent boyfriend was gay. She was heartbroken. All I could think of was "what if i am gay and end up hurting my boyfriend"

    Then I was consumed with these intrusive thoughts. I was then fearing I was gay (not that I think there is anything wrong with that). I became really depressed because I was afraid I was gay. I didn't want to lose my boyfriend. I was hopeless and wanted to die.

    In November of 2009 my boyfirend broke up with me and I stopped the pill. I was still having the intrusive thoughts but they were becoming less and less. A year later in Oct. of 2010, I started dating a great guy that I was in love with almost immediately. I started the pill again, and started loestrin or microgestin in november or december of 2010.

    The first few months I was just having stomach issues and exhaustion issues. I was fine, for the first couple of months, I still had a sex drive and was still head over heels for my new boyfriend.

    Around 5 or 6 months I hit rock bottom again. I was having the same intrusive thoughts concerned I was gay and just didn't want to come to terms with it, I was deeply depressed and felt numb to life. I had zero sex drive. I wanted to die again. I hated feeling this way. I hated the idea of losing my boyfriend and just wanted to turn back time to feeling amazing again.

    I know those thoughts were irrational, because I have never had a crush on a girl and when i was going through my akeward phase some girls go through i would pray that boys would finally like me. I prayed and prayed to get my first boyfriend.

    I knew these thoughts were irrational and insane, but they felt so real at times because they made me question my feelings I had in the past about boys. Like did am I imaginging feeling that way for him or did I really?

    I hated how I felt, I was questioning my boyfriend and my feeligns for him which was insane considering the month prior I wa planning out pretend wedding in my head. It all came on so suddenly.

    My mom was the one that made the possible connection between me being on the pill and this form of OCD appearing. I stopped the pill the second time in the beginning of June 2011. I have had 2 periods since then. But i still have the intrusive thoughts and concerns that I am going to ruin my boyfriends life because I am so unsure about what i want and who I am. I still have zero sex drive, which before the pill was healthy.

    I know I want to be with him the rest of my life, but it is like there is a constant nagging voice in my head telling me that I don't or questioning whether he is really what i want.

    I want it to stop!!! I wish I could go back in time to the girl who was about to take her first pill of birth control and warn her that this would happen to her and to not even try any kind.

    I hope that it really is all attributable to the pill. I pray every day that it is and that I will go back to the happy person I was before I started the pill. I want to marry my boyfriend, I want to go back to being head over heels with my boyfriend, and I want to stop questioning it.

    I am taking vitamins and supplements (flax seed oil, spirulina, magnesium, zinc, multi, parsley, liver cleanse, and a chinese stress relief).

    I just hope someone that had gone through this can tell me that it gets better. I don't want to ruin the wonderful thing I have with my boyfriend (he has been amazingly supportive of me. I haven't told him about the crazy thoughts I have just that I had severe depression on the pill).

    Any words of wisdom or hope for me would be greatly appreciated.

  12. GPH

    GPH Member

    Just wanted all you ladies to know that there is hope. I'm 11 months post pill (was on it 8 years and went through several different kinds including the Nuva Ring and Depo shots) and all that irrational thinking, and horrible feelings and depression, and the feelings I was having toward my husband are pretty well gone. My mood is so much more level and my anxiety and depression are pretty much nil. I don't feel like I have to be clingy or obsessed over my husband, or get so that I can't stand him at the same time! lol So stick with it and good luck!
    Kayleigh and stephanie718! like this.

  13. Guest

    Guest Guest

    Hopefulgirl. Post under the effects of bc thread. That's where we all chat.

  14. caitlinemcg1990

    caitlinemcg1990 New Member

    Thank you so much for this.

    I was on Aviane for about two years, but had terrible breakthrough bleeding, took a break, then went on Ortho Tricyclen Lo for two months, had depression, asked my gyno to put me on something else. She switched me to Nuvaring, promised that I wouldn't have the same depression on it. Clearly, that was a lie. Within a month and a half, I was crying for no reason, thinking about suicide, self-harm, etc.

    I finally went off the NR on Saturday. Long overdue.

    The suicidal thoughts are gone, thank god, and the anxiety attacks are gone. I'm still struggling with feelings of numbness and irritation with people. I started taking 5-HTP, St John's Wort, Evening Primrose and a Vitamin B complex today. I'll do anything it takes to me again.

    I need to feel better about my boyfriend. My boyfriend is the most incredible man in the world, and he deserves better than what I'm giving him right now. I've said goodbye to at least a third of the hair I used to have, I've said goodbye to my beautiful skin, but I can't say goodbye to him.

    Please, please, please give me hope.

  15. campengurl17

    campengurl17 Member

    Trust me girls..i know how ya feel...you arnt the only ones who feel this way..i know you feel like you going crazy..heck i still think i am...but iv been off bc for almost 3 months..i feel a lot better about him than i did..but i still feel numb and distance from him and question my relationship if i want to be with him or not...when before all this happened i was practally planning out wedding..its hard..i have a wonderfull boyfriend and wonder if i will ever feel the same way i felt before and get out of this dark hole...i feel better than what i was...but no where near what i used to feel like...nuvaring screwed up my life..

  16. larara

    larara New Member

    hi there, ill explain briefly whats happened with me too..
    i had the one depo shot in march, two weeks after i got it done i had a massive panic attack and thought i didnt love my boyfriend in my head it was just "what the fucckkkkk?!?!?!" now 6 months on im still waiting for it to come out. my boyfriend went away for a month in august and we were hoping that when he came back everything would be fresh and amazing. it was.
    but im still so snappy im always thinking awful things about him like "youre not really a good boyfriend, youre such a twit" and it hurts me so fucking much inside. i always question our relationship because i get so snappy he gets a little annoyed so now i keep thinking we arent working anymore and its making me cry 24/7
    please please please tell me its gonna go soon, i really and honestly cant take it anymore, i want to turn back time and make everything perfect cause at the moment i honestly feel like i have no hope in me, im so scared im gna lose him and what we had, so scared.. please help x

  17. Younglove44

    Younglove44 New Member

    hey I'm new here but I saw everyone elses posts and I feel ALOT better about my situation. Its very long! But I hope you guys can relate.

    So I was on Loestrin Fe for a good 4 months? During this time I became very moody and I started fighting alot with my amazing boyfriend of almost two years. We never fought and when I started taking these pills i was a miserable person. Finally one day I realized I just wanted to start crying and realized how depressed I was. Along with being depressed these pills made me anxious. When i wasnt with my boyfriend I would think he was cheating on me and I would be so upset. The fighting was getting worse and I constantly had to be reassured that he loved me. Eventually one day he started giving me one word answers and I actually left school crying thinking he was going to break up with. That day I just stopped taking them. A few weeks go by and I'm feeling okay. Not myself but I think not taking those pills just made me feel a bit better. well one day out of the blue I asked myself if I loved my boyfriend anymore? I NEVER asked myself this EVER and I loved him with everything I had. I never questioned it. So ever since then, my anxiety turned into me not loving my boyfriend anymore. For a good month and a half I was so upset I didnt eat, left school numerous times, cried at least 5 times a day, didnt talk/hangout with any of my friends, didnt care about anything.I kept having negative thoughts about him and even tried to take a break. I lost ALL feelings for him and I didnt even care. I dont know why this even happened. Its been about 2 months since I stopped taking the pills.

    I feel physically TEN TIMES BETTER. I can actually smile now. Im still having negative thoughts about my boyfriend and I really want to feel that love I had for him again. I feel distant from him and I dont want to feel like that anymore. Does it get better? Or should i just break up with him?

  18. Martian

    Martian New Member

    *originally posted in the "getting off birth control thread*

    Hi Girls.. im a guy who just stumbled upon this but Im afraid i lost the girl of my dreams due to her getting off birth control (not entirely but the way everything unfolded in the past month matches alot of what you all have been thru.. and im also thinking that her being on 3 different types of birth control could've been a cause of alot of our major fights due to uncontrollable mood swings).... My ex girlfriend was on birth control since she was 18 or so and I met her at 23. She is now 25 turning 26 and just this past February decided to get off the pill because she was blaming it on her mood swings (that caused alot of our fights) and her weight gain.. Overall, she was also depressed because she just finished college and was out looking for a job and got rejected by two interviews. Basically she was at an all time low.. very insecure and down. She's been so negative about alot of things and would pick fights with me for no reason.. Our valentines day sucked because she thought I didn't want to celebrate it and went home to her moms without telling me. I was sorta stood up. Anyway, the way she broke up was she mentioned she for the first time described as a "panic attack" that Friday she left. Just the night before we were intimate and happily as ever. We do have our occassional fights and we've been learning to tone them down and thoguht her getting off birth control will help us fight lesss but little did we know that getting off it would be even more of a battle!.. everything went crazy when she woke up that morning while I was at work. She would go online because I can chat at work. All of a sudden I told her I wanted to exchange her camera that I bought her for a more practical one and make her some money. Out of nowhere she flips out and thinks Im trying to do something bad (when just a week ago she agreed to this). So she signs off frustrated. Little do I know she starts to pack her stuff. I didn't know till she text me later that day that she moved out and we were done.

    I am so shocked at how blindsided this all was and all I do know is that she just stopped her ORTHO pack abrupty halfway back in February.. She stated she had a major panic attack that Friday and just needed to get the hell out. Then I gave her her space for 2 weeks and she told me that she doesn't see us as compatible anymore and lately we've been fighting alot (if I knew it was her birth control causing her to be negative, i prob would've been more understanding but I didn't have a clue).. so now i just agreed to let her go..

    FOr those of you who broke up, did your feelings ever come back? I am so shocked as to how someone can lose their feelings almost overnight like this.. and I know she has a huge hormonal effect because before ortho, she was on Desogen but in between those two, she tried getting on the DEPO SHOT once.. and we had the most nastiest fights during that time. She pretty much had a split personality..

    i feel so bad for my ex girlfriend to be going thru all this.. =( and I feel bad for reacting so abusively to her hormonal mood changes...

    Do you think she will "wake up" and realize all that she's done to sabotage us? I feel so horrible that birth control ruined a great relationship of almost 3 years..

    *Update* , I went ahead and emialed her a link to this message thread (i don't know if she'll hate me for it or not but its worth a shot).. so maybe she won't feel alone as to what she's going thru and hopefully all the chaos will pass to think clearly again.. i can only hope but not count on it.

    GOSH, although birth control can be a guy's dream come true (unprotected sex), its so north worth the relationship damage it causes.. =(

    i just stumbled upon this article.. and if its true, then its a sad reality of why we have so many divorces and affairs caused by the birth control pill. so basically its saying that my ex girlfriend is no longer attracted to me and now totally attracted to someone exactly opposite? wow..


    the way she handled the breakup was kinda strange as well, she emailed saying she wanted us to go our separate ways and for me to move on.. then shes been initiating contact via text treating me like im still there for her a week after the breakup. then i kinda got straight to the point that i didn't want to be put on the back burner while she sorted her feelings out but to not regard our very limited contact as that Im ignorning her.. so now its 3 weeks and i finally got a chance to have our first actual conversation with her and she still seemed numb and distant but i was able to clarify alot of things.. another crazy thing is she got desperate and accepted a 6 temp job offer from her old high school friend who lives on the east coast and owns a company with her husband.. she's never been the type to want to up and leave her family and she claims that if she likes it there she might move.. she originally wanted to teach locally and im just surprised at all the drastic life changing decisions shes making right now.. now im just gonna give her no contact space while she's gone until she comes around and she knows im here for her if she needs me but told her that it hurts for her to contact me when im not sure how she really feels..

  19. Evanessa

    Evanessa Member


    And thanks for this forum, it really helps! I even the archive and it made me feel better.I lived the same thing than you , even if I didn't take the pill. In my case my period were stopped because of my weight and they came back after a diet with a major depressive episode, obsessive thoughts and anxiety.

    It was in January but I can't say that I feel 100% better now even if I can smile and eat and I no longer spend my days lying on my bed in my room and crying in the dark.

    The worst thing are the thoughts and the feeling of numbness, I feel like I will never be like I used to with my boyfriend end even family. I hope you feel better, please feel free to contact me. Take care

  20. Evanessa

    Evanessa Member

    Nobody 's there? [​IMG] How are you all?


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