Discussion in 'Who's Due When...' started by Raunchy-Row, Feb 24, 2013.
Bunny!! Congratulations! Boy, you busy lady!
Iris is about to be 5 months and I realllly want to get them done, but I was worried because of the reaction she had to getting shots. Her first round she completely freaked out and wouldn't stop crying, at her 4 month appointment she cried for like, a minute.
Where did you go to get them done?
I'm so hurt. Disappointed. Angry.
I knew when I found out that I was pregnant our relationship wouldn't last. It was just a matter of time really. But I didn't expect things to go down how they have. I couldn't care less that our relationship is over, I actually am the one that said it was over for good. I do care about what he's done to his daughter, rather what he hasn't. I send his mom pictures a lot since she's in another state and he doesn't send them to her. We started talking and it turns out he's been lying to his mother and I more than I thought. I guess his mom has been sending quite a bit of money for Iris for some time now, she has not seen a dime of it. He's never mentioned there being any money from his mom. Even when I've had to scrape money together for diapers, he never mentioned any money. I feel like he just stole from his daughter - that was his daughter's money and he took it so he could get drunk.
I'm absolutely disgusted by his behavior. He puts partying, drinking, and hoes before his family. He actually called me laughing about how he got so drunk the night before he woke up in the hospital. He is 27. A 27 year old child. I'm just so done with it all. Entirely. I told him I wanted us to come up with a parenting plan together and submit it to the courts. He freaked out on me. I doubt he'll work with me on it. I told him if he didn't I'd just take him to court and get custody established that way. It's not like he wants our daughter full time, he doesn't even want her by himself. I can't believe I gave her a dad like this. There are so many details I've left out about our relationship. I just can't - too many lies, too much deceit, such terrible priorities, stealing from your daughter, but somehow I should be grateful?
It occurred to me today, on Iris' 5 month birthday, how little he has actually done for her. He has never given her a single bath, or even so much as assisted me with doing so. He has never read her a single book. He has never taken her to a doctor's appointment. He has never taken her to physical therapy. He has never done her pt with her at home, or even asked me about what exercises she needs to do. I had to tell his mother what size she wears, as he could not even do that. He's never once stayed up with her at night as she's cried. He's never once had to deal with her teething pain. He's never cut her nails. He's never cleaned out her nose. He's never gotten her dressed. He doesn't know her hunger cues. He doesn't know what she does to show that she is tired. He doesn't know how to soothe her as she cries. Most importantly, she doesn't know who he is. I just started working weekends again, the first day I came home from being gone all day she was just falling asleep for a nap when she heard me, she instantly perked up and just sat on my lap babbling on, laughing, smiling, touching my face, completely loving on me waving her hands because she missed me. She acts the same way towards him as she does with her pediatrician.
He hasn't so much as asked me about her in 3 weeks. Hasn't asked for a picture. Hasn't asked to see her. Hasn't just checked in to see how she's doing.
We're meeting when I get off work Saturday, he wants to 'talk.' I'm sure it's so he could try and talk me out of getting involved with the courts. I'm not going to be angry. I'm not going to yell. I'm not going to mention I've spoken with his mother. And no matter how bad I want to, I'm not going to pop him in the face. I'm just going to give the appearance of not caring. I'm going to complete the documents we need to submit for custody (hopefully) then I'm telling him I want nothing to do with him. I don't want to be his girlfriend. I don't want to be his friend. I don't even want to be so much as an acquaintance. I will tell him not to speak with me unless it is directly about Iris. I'm just so past caring.
I'm thankful for having my mom, she helps me so much. I'm thankful for my beautiful, healthy daughter. I'm thankful my job took me back. I'm thankful this is the year I'll be graduating from college. I know my life isn't over, I have so much going for me, and I have so much to do to assure Iris the future she deserves. I also know that she and I deserve better than her father.
Sorry for the novel, I have so much pent up.
Oh Elise I'm so sorry. You're such a strong Mama, and you know what's happened is the best for you and for Iris. She'll do just fine with you and it sounds like she'll be better off not spending a huge amount of time with her father. I'm sorry you had to find out bad things about him from his mom of all people. Will she want to be involved with her granddaughter regardless of what the ex is doing?
Elias is 6 months old next week. I can't even believe it. Tried to upload a file but it's too big--he's gorgeous, big blue eyes and a great personality. Breastfeeding is finally established for us--it took 3 laser revisions of tongue tie but they were worth it. He's just such a great baby, so relaxed and always watching what's going on I am totally in love.
I know we're better off. I actually feel so much happier. People make comments on how happy I feel as well. It's worth it. She does want to be involved! She's so sweet, she actually sent some money for a highchair. She also told me I should call his dad, and that he would want to be involved still too and would be able to help me with her if I ever needed it.
6 months already? Wow! Time flies! I can't wait to see a picture! I love pictures of babies. Are you able to only breastfeed now? Happy to hear you've over come it. How big is he now? If I remember he's been large like Iris too.
Iris turned 5 months last week. She is such a hand full, she wants to do everything too fast. She can roll into the next room, and is even sitting by herself now! I reeeeeally miss the newborn stage. I miss having a tiny baby, she was only tiny for a few weeks! She's starting to morph into my twin! It's adorable.
Callie just turned 9 months and started pulling herself up and cruising around furniture, completely out of nowhere. I've also caught her standing up pushing the ride-on toys and walking beside it. Crazy! For being my delicate preemie expected to be delayed 2-3 months off her usual she sure is picking stuff up fast. I miss her being tiny too, but she's turning into my mini me and shadow. She follows me around the house always trying to climb up my leg and gives me huge grins and giggles when she sees me. She seems to be picking things up a lot faster than the boys did.
Oh, and I'm looking for a one syllable middle name to go with Piper. Suggestions?
Elise yeah we're fully at breast--we actually always have been, it just wasn't comfortable. He's 19lbs 4 oz as of a few days ago so we must be doing something right!
Bunny ummm the first one that popped into my head was Lee, I'll see if I can think of any others How are you feeling? Crazy that Callie is already trying to walk with help, I can't even imagine what havoc that will wreak in our house--gonna have to start baby proofing soon that's for sure!
Oh and I keep trying to post a picture but it says it's too big--I'll try from my phone later after we're in bed
Bunny how are you feeling? Elise how are things with you?
Eli is 8 months old in a few days which is just crazy to me! He's sitting up beautifully but still trying to figure out how to move. We're still exclusively nursing with some baby led weaning thrown in and so far his favourite thing is green olives
My nausea finally went away around 15 weeks and was promotly replaced by heartburn and reflux. I'm not sure which is worse. We've decided not to find out gender this time, but DH swears it's a girl. I'm atarting to get pretty achy now from stretching on my c-section scar. Since I'm only 18 weeks I'm sure I'll be "enjoying" this for the rest of my pregnancy.
Wow 18 weeks already? Amazing. Time flies so fast. You must be so busy!
Yeah, it's gone pretty fast and with my early deliveries I'm halfway done already. I don't feel like I've been too busy since I've pretty much been a SAHM since I lost my job in February and haven't been able to find another one (unless being offered one at less than half of my previous wage counts). I run out of unemployment in a couple weeks so I'll be working in our family business then. If I start complaining about my boss being an ass it'll be my husband. LOL! I told him I didn't care what I was doing as long as after taxes I got $2000 a month to replace my unemployment and that I wanted to be able to do whatever in the evenings at home as much as possible so I can be home with the kids. It sounds like I will be doing all the computer stuff he hates and I'm trying to convince him to fire his flake of a bookkeeper and let me do that (once I learn the software). She's only part time anyway. His dad foundher in a bar somewhere years ago and hired her because she was willing to work for $10 an hour. She's an alcoholic with no car and comes in on weekends looking like a homeless person. A few months ago she'd sent a text that she was on her way in and was just waiting to catch the bus. She didn't actually get there for two days. Must have been pushing the bus instead of riding it! She really needs to go, but we've never had any luck finding anyone willing to work only 8-16 hours a week.
Oh man I hope it works out for you then! I go back to work in a few weeks but just for 4 hours/week (it's all I can do without affecting my EI payments for mat leave)--I start back full time in October and hubby will stay home with Eli. Not looking forward to shift work again.
We settled on a different name altogether. Since we aren't finding out gender this time we've picked Ophelia Hope for a girl and tentatively Spencer Chase for a boy, although still looking at other options too.
BG I'm super impressed with your patience not finding out the gender this time! I totally expected you to fold and find out! lol
It's been hard, but if we have any more kids after this (there is the possibility of one more pregnancy a few years fown the road) we will be finding out, at least for ourselves even if we don't share it. DH thinks we're having a girl, I think boy. If it's a girl we are done for sure. If it's a boy we are leaving the door open to trying for another girl in a few years and having me get an IUD. I don't really want an IUD but DH doesn't want to do condoms or withdrawal anymore on the few days it's necessary. That's how we ended up with this baby. It was too much trouble to get up and get a condom once. LOL
I love my copper IUD, it's been great! And insertion was a breeze after a baby. How much longer do you have to go?
I'm 25-1/2 weeks now and I usually deliver by 36, so I don't have much longer to go.
I'm nervous about the IUD because I'm not a fan of the idea of a foreign object that just hangs out inside my body for years that's known to cause heavy, crampy periods. Although I know it's rare, I'm also paranoid about the possibility of it moving on me and embedding or perforating something. My choice is either get the IUD or get something permanent done and give up the possibility of another baby down the road if we were to decide to try for another in a few years. Even if we don't decide to have more kids it's nice that it would still be an option. All of DH's friends have been giving him a hard time about having #4 anyway, let alone in less than 4 years and he's been telling them he's planning to get fixed, even though he's really not. He's afraid of doctors, needles, blood pressure cuffs, etc., and puts off and avoids going because of it. LOL