Due in August-September 2010

Discussion in 'Archived Discussions' started by KawaiiNot, Dec 19, 2009.


 
  1. Confused-Hasya

    Confused-Hasya Active Member

    Aww, Ali! I understand. It isn't their fault that timing worked out that way, though. Try to think that way if you can. It'll maybe help you feel better. Tell your dh to tell his mom that you want yours to be adults only too, if you want it so much.

     
  2. AliBaby

    AliBaby New Member

    Ooh, that would aggravate me as well Nessa!

    Well, it kind of is since they chose not to use protection! He didn't even want to ever have kids, so I don't know why he wasn't careful. There may have been alcohol involved.
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 24, 2013

     
  3. Confused-Hasya

    Confused-Hasya Active Member

    Huh! Are they what, in their teens to do it without protection if they didn't want to have kids???

    Nessa, that would annoy me even without being hormonal.

     
  4. nessa26

    nessa26 New Member

    Oh yeah, you gotta love those that don't want kids, but do nothing to prevent it. Nature WILL take its course unless you take measures to prevent it. That's why its so frustrating that mother nature doesnt discriminate, like in the instance of my hubby's cousin's baby mama (scenario above). This is the typle of girl who will contnue to reproduce because she has no cncept of protection or birth control It's quite nauseating.

    I wish there was such thing as mandatory birth control for teens (yeah right, like that would ever happen). Way too many babies being born to teen moms, and not to say that some of them dont turn out to be good parents, but its such a huge problem for society in general.

     
  5. AliBaby

    AliBaby New Member

    Not teens. They had both recently turned 21 so like I said, I think it may have been an alcohol related incidence.

    Okay, now I am feeling guilty talked badly about them. Don't get me wrong...I love them both and I am sure I will adore my new nephew. I just wasn't happy about the situation.

     
  6. nessa26

    nessa26 New Member

    Having gone through such a long time TTC, its normal to feel how you did Ali. I was extremely resentful towards preggos after my ectopic. But after a while of steaming over it, and perhaps a few alcoholic beverages, LOL, I was ultimately happy for them!

     
  7. Lily_Blossom

    Lily_Blossom New Member

    Sorry I've been MIA ladies! My husband had a last minute surgery to remove a benign tumor, it's been nuts [​IMG] But he's back at work and doing better now.

    Kawaii- Beautiful picture of your baby! What a sweet smile, I'll bet your heart is melting!!

    Alibaby- I feel my baby's kicks mostly on the right side. He is breech, sitting down with his legs to my right side. So he grinds my left hip bone with his feet a lot, fun fun.

    SO here's the skinny with me:

    According to the tape measure, I was measuring 4 weeks bigger than what I should be. SO I had an ultrasound this past tuesday at 27 weeks, 2 days pregnant. I have a LOT of amniotic fluid, a LOT. Also the baby is a big little stinker. So a double whammy. He weighs 2 lbs 9 ounces give or take 6 ounces. His head is also a biggie, the doctor measure it, aye aye aye. I am not looking forward to pushing that thing out! My doctor said all is well, it's just a combo of the fluid and my ginormous man child making my stomach look 4 weeks further a long than I really am. It's so fun to be at the grocery store, or church, and have people look shocked when they find out I'm only in my 27th week of pregnancy, and not ready to pop any day.

    The extra fluid puts me at a higher risk for premature labor. Also my doctor was concerned about gestational diabetes, so I got my glucose test yesterday, SO NASTY. Nothing THAT orange can possibly be good for you!! I had to take my 2 year old with me to the glucose testing which was oh so fun [​IMG]

    So I'm freaking out a bit about having 2 kids. My two year old daughter is so busy, and very demanding at times. I'm worried I might go nuts. Did I also mention that she still likes to wake up at night? She has night terrors.

    Anyhoo, sorry again for being MIA, I promise to be better about updating from now on.

    Here's a couple of pictures:

    27 weeks pregnant:

    [​IMG]

    And a profile shot of our sweet baby boy:

    [​IMG]

     
  8. AliBaby

    AliBaby New Member

    Lily, I don't think you look any bigger than me and we are only a week apart.

     
  9. Confused-Hasya

    Confused-Hasya Active Member

    Yes, Nessa, mandatory birth control for teens; I totally agree. It's called abstinence, in my opinion. 21 - no age to be parents still. IMO, wait for emotional maturity to arrive first. I may be biased after seeing several young moms.

    That said, my grandmother was 15 when my mother was born!!!!!!!

    Just realized - my mother was 25 at the time of her firstborn and I am double my grandmother's first child age...

     
  10. KawaiiNot

    KawaiiNot Active Member

    Aaw! Thanks for the compliments on the little fella! We do think he's kinda cute. [​IMG]

    Lily, your belly and the dude are both looking great! I'm sorry to hear about your hubby, but glad he is on the mend. Good that it wasn't anything serious.
    I hope everthing will turn out ok with the amniotic fluid. Is there anything you can do yourself to reduce it? Probably not. He better stay in there for another while though!

    Ugh, sounds like hassle with the babyshower, Ali. Could you ask for it to be grown ups only? I think that's a reasonable request, and not to forget it is YOUR shower. It really should be exactly how you want it.
    As for the order of the grandkids, I don't think many grandparents really care. Some probably do treat differently, but hopefully that's not true of yours.
    Pipsqueak will be number 6 on my side, 3 on my SOs, but he won't be any less special to the grandparents. Your boy will be perfectly himself in every way, and I think grandparents have a special knack for seeing just that. [​IMG]

    As for me I have been diagnosed with borderline gestational diabetes. Came as a shocker to be honest. No biggie though, I usually eat a carb restricted diet already so I know I function well on it and how to put one together. In many ways it will be good to get back to my preferred way of eating, and I'm completely ignore the fact that I'm currently craving chocolate like a madwoman. I look very good in denial, right? [​IMG]

    Really? You think people should stay virgins until 21?
    (And I must add that I know plenty of people 21 and even younger that make amazing parents, and some 30 year old that are irresponsible nimwitted parents. While I agree age is not just a number, it is still not ok to judge because of it.)

    I am of the opinion that a healthy sex life is almost a human right. It has so many positive effects on both health and psyche. People deserve to have a good sex life.
    The fact that you choose to have sex does NOT mean that you are consenting to pregnancy. That's like saying you are consenting to a car crash every time you get behind the wheel.
    Of course people should use birth control if they don't want a child, but no birth control is 100% and accidents do happen. It is a very difficult place to be in, and it doesn't help to see that people are more than happy to blame and judge you for your mistakes.

    I almost feel like an idiot now just because my pregnancy wasn't planned. I don't think that's very fair that people go around judging me because of it (some even did on this very board), or making assumtions about my parenting skills.
    Oh well, I have a thick skin and refuse to take it personally. [​IMG]
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 24, 2013

     
  11. TDG

    TDG New Member

    kawaiitnot--Im withn you, age has little to do with it...personality is the bigger issue. (I am a mere 22....pause for the gasp :p lol) And accident baby or not...its how you decide to handle it. It certainly doesnt mean youll be a bad parent. Our first was planned and tried very hard for, but the next two(or 1.5) were huge suprises and we love them just as much as the one we worked so hard for. Now that being said... Ill agree most 21 year olds are not ready to be parents because I come from a spoiled, lazy generation. Our grandparents nearly always had kids by 21..were they bad parents? I dont think so, just better people perhaps..

    Ali--I dont think its wrong to want an adults only party, it should be about your baby only. It sucks but its always hard to compete with a first grandchild, even if it was unplanned or unwanted.

    lily--I dont think you look too huge for 27 weeks. Your bump is adorable!! So is your little, or big man! You defidently look like your havin a boy, pretty low bump!! Dont worry about havin two kids, its not that hard. I mean some days are, but you just have to remember its temporary and will get easier and easier. [​IMG]

     
  12. TDG

    TDG New Member

    jeeze--I even reread it and I still made typos... Im just so exhausted I cant see straight! lol

     
  13. Confused-Hasya

    Confused-Hasya Active Member

    Oops, sorry, kawaiiN and TDG, that's not what I meant at all. As I was saying, I was being biased because of several young moms I have seen where I used to live before being irritable to their children because they can't do what others their age are doing, which is having fun. Wait!

    I have also seen several quite irresponsible older moms. If one wants to be a mom, there is only so long she can wait for emotional maturity to arrive first.

    As I said, my grandmother was a mother at 15. I am not judging her, and certainly not judging either of you. I remember your initial posts, KN, and remember either posting or thinking that I admired your decision to keep the baby even though it was a shock to you. And I am impressed by how you've thrown yourself into researching what's best for your baby.

    TDG, being a third time mom at 22 is working well for you but unfortunately doesn't work well for many first time moms in their teens and as no contraceptive is 100% effective, IMO, abstinence is good until the girl/woman is either in a stable relationship with a provider, has her own money, or is able to provide for the baby on her own, and not have to drop out of school/college to do so. Esp. if her parents are not in a position to provide for another mouth.

    To each her own. I wouldn't presume to tell anyone how to run her life as long as she isn't harming anyone.

    PS: TDG, "how you handle"... completely agree. Out of curiosity, when did you begin ttc?

     
  14. Confused-Hasya

    Confused-Hasya Active Member

    Ouch, Lily, glad your husband's tumor is benign. I hope it hasn't been too stressful for you.

     
  15. BunnyGirl19

    BunnyGirl19 Super Moderator Staff Member

    It's my opinion that I don't care how old you are when you decide to have kids so long as you can support them and put in the effort to actually raise them as well. I don't approve at all of people who decide to have kids and then go on welfare and Medicaid to pay their bills. Seriously, why be so irresponsible? If you can't afford to cover the necessary expenses for pregnancy without your hand out you can't really afford the expenses of a baby either. I don't mind so much if it was completely accidental (i.e. birth control failure despite careful compliance) that someone finds themselves pregnant and needs Medicaid or they lose their job and the health insurance that goes with it after they're already pregnant. My biggest gripe is the people that don't bother to use protection and get pregnant and go on welfare and especially the ones that actually plan to have a child with the intention of using public assistance. I'm also annoyed with the people that just plain don't want kids period, but then can't be bothered to actually put in the effort to prevent it either.

    That said, I started TTC when I was 19 and most people thought I was crazy. However, I had a good paying, stable job. I initially had insurance the first several months after I started trying but my job ended up dropping it. Since I still wanted to have a baby I just saved as much money as I possibly could out of my paychecks so I could pay out of pocket for my medical expenses (I was managing to save $1500 a month at that point). I wouldn't have continued trying at that point if I wouldn't have been able to pay my own way.

     
  16. TDG

    TDG New Member

    Confused--I was 18 when we started ttc. We had been together 3 years--lived together for over a year, and knew we wanted to get married and have our family young. I kind of thought by now wed have 2 kids--not one on the way--and be married already, but Im thrilled with this route instead. A third baby is great and well make this marriage legal sometime! lol.

     
  17. Confused-Hasya

    Confused-Hasya Active Member

    Well said, BG! Impressed by how much you were saving!

    Oh wow! How did you manage your bills and such so young??

     
  18. KawaiiNot

    KawaiiNot Active Member

    I wasn't trying to start any drama or argument, we all have different opinions and that's fine. I just had to put mine in there as well, and I wasn't really offended. [​IMG]
    I know that some people are more sensitive than me though, and experiencing an unplanned pregnancy is one of the toughest things I have gone through. People do assume, put blame and judge, and it kinda sucks to experience that on top of everything else. Thankfully we made the right decision for us, and even though I am beyond petrified sometimes I have never looked back on that decision.
    We're going to do our best for this little boy, he won't pay for our "mistake". I think everything will work out for the three of us, and I'm always grateful for all you ladies and the support I have found here. [​IMG]

    And I certainly doubt I would pass as a younger mother, I've already celebrated the big three oh. [​IMG]

    TDG & BunnyGirl, you girls are great moms whether your 19 or 30. No doubt in anyones mind! BG, now go ovulate dammit. I wanna see atleast two sticky beans this cycle, or I'll have my son kick your ass in mid august! [​IMG]

    Sorry, no time for proofreading. I'm off to bed to hopefully get laid! LOL!

     
  19. BunnyGirl19

    BunnyGirl19 Super Moderator Staff Member

    LOL Kawaii!!!! I'm getting kind of annoyed that my body hasn't managed to ovulate yet. It's been well over a week since I started having my fertile signs so I expected it already. Oh well. Guess that means I'll have to BD some more! [​IMG] I'm hoping to BD tonight when I get off work and again tomorrow before work to make sure I've got my days covered well enough. At least since we identified it being a chromosomal abnormality that caused the loss, I feel much better than thinking it's still something wrong with me.

    It was pretty easy for me to save money that young because I was working full time. When I graduated high school I went to a 9 month program for what I do now for work, which pays quite well, and starting working immediately after completing that program. As soon as I started my first job I started TTC. It was also easy to save because I didn't really have any bills other than basic expenses. I didn't have a car or anything else at that time so no car payments, insurance, or gas (which is now a signficiant portion of my monthly budget, LOL). Things have certainly changed now that I've gotten older and acquired other bills and expenses, so I'd love to still be able to save $1500 a month. LOL

     
  20. AliBaby

    AliBaby New Member

    Wow, lots of things have been said in the last 24 hours since I was on here last!

    Kawaii, I hope no one is judging you. You were using a reliable method of birth control that just so happened to fail you. Also, you seem to be in a very healthy relationship that can provide a loving home to a child.

    As far as sexual intercourse and abstinence goes, I think that sex is very healthy on a physical level, but some people are emotionally ready to have intercourse and some are not. So there is really not a right answer for everyone. We are all different and I think that we should embrace our differences and teach young adults that abstinence is the right choice for some people, but others it is not. If you feel as though you are ready for sexual intercourse then you need to be ready for all the consequences as well, but there are ways to minimize your risk of consequences.

    Lily, I forgot to say that I am glad your hubby is doing okay. Did you know that the tumor was benign before it was removed, or was it removed to be tested? That is scary. I discovered a lump in my right breast 2 years ago and it was scary for us. I had it tested and it was benign, but now I have to go to the "boob doctor" every year for check ups in addition to the annual visits to my gyno (well now OB) who also does a breast exam.

    On a lighter note, I have another u/s on Wed. that I am looking forward to. I am now on the 2 week rotation of visits! Yeah! One more milestone met. I am also doing the glucose test. Do they just draw blood for that or what?

     

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