Hi everyone, I've been with my bf for two years now. He is the laziest, most apathetic person I have ever met. The only things he shows any noticeable excitement in is food, the dog, sports, tv and video games. Everything else he can take or leave. On top of this, outside of that, in terms of domestic matters and things in the relationship, he does not take initiative to make anything happen unless I say something about it. Now I'm very action oriented. I like things to be done as efficiently and accurately as possible, and believe in giving everything I do 100%. I believe in helping people and getting work done whenever I see a need, and I get excited about ideas and trying different things. So his casual, lackadaisical behavior grates on my nerves. I've never asked him to change because I don't think that's fair, and I also figured it would help me to be with someone a little less high strung so that I don't get so caught up with making things happen and learn to just enjoy the present. However, his apathetic attitude applies to the sexual and emotional aspect of our relationship also. And in that respect his behavior drives me insane. If I don't mention or initiate, we will go a month without sex. When we do have sex, he never seems excited or really into it. It is always short and once he cums he is done for the night. He never grabs my ass or says he finds me sexy or what he likes in the bedroom. Besides a good morning or good night peck on the lips we don't kiss. We don't hug or cuddle. Besides the first time he said it or after an argument, he has never said in sincerity, "I love you." Never says how he feels....about anything outside of the interests I named above. I know that's a long list of complaints and when I say all that first, it's easy to ask why are you staying if you're so upset or whatever. Well, it's because there are a lot of good things in this relationship too. He has helped me to be a little less high strung. When I tell him I need him to something, he does it. When he notices I'm sad or upset, he tries in little ways to make me comfortable or happy. He listens to what I say and considers it. I've never had that before, and it means so much to me. I feel respected because of it. But because of what's lacking, I do not feel loved. There's no emotional expression in this relationship, no physical passion. I've told him this before, the sex issues more than once, and for a month or so things will improve. Then we'll miss a night or a kiss and we're back to square one. I do not like repeatedly asking for things, it makes me feel like I'm nagging. But with so much lacking emotionally, I go through these phases of feeling so detached. I feel like a roommate instead of a girlfriend. I don't know if I'm expecting too much or if this is a typical problem or what. It's been like this since the beginning of the relationship. In the first year I didn't really see it as a problem, because neither of us were really thinking about the long term. But in thi second year, we moved in together, and lately have casually referenced marriage. We've switched into a ling term sort of mode and it's frustrating me and freaking me out because we still have these problems with emotional expression and sex. The idea of spending my life doing this back and forth with these problems depresses me. I shouldn't wonder if my bf really wants to have sex with me or is attracted to me, and I want to know that if I am emotionally vulnerable with my partner that he can reciprocate that with me. I do believe my bf loves me, but he just does not share the drive for depth in life and emotion that I have. It's become a point of huge disconnect for me and I don't know if that's normal or ok or what. Even with these proble.s, I think this is the healthiest relationship I've ever had. I don't want to throw away something great, but I don't want to waste time trying to fix something that can't be fixed. I would really like to hear from anyone who may have had or be having a similar experience. I'm really confused and because I can't decide what the right thing is I can't really do anything which is stressing me out. Look forward to responses and thanks for reading.