anal hurts...

Discussion in 'Female Sexuality' started by younglove, Oct 29, 2006.

  1. younglove

    younglove New Member

    ok... so my bf and i tried anal once, but it hurt so bad i actually screamed in pain... he felt horrible and said we didn't need to try that again. Somehow, I'm still curious on if it would feel really good for him... how can u other ladies do it? is there something i should know?

  2. Juicy-Juls

    Juicy-Juls Active Member

    Ummmm. I would like to know toooo...Cause I jumped out of the bed after only the tip went in...So...ladies please help, my hubby wants me to sooo bad, but the minute it hits, I run screaming too.

  3. Lexxa

    Lexxa New Member

    I don't know what to say except lube and practice, but if it hurts too much for you then don't feel like it's something you need to puruse just for your partner. They should be disinterested in something that makes you miserable anyway.

  4. younglove

    younglove New Member

    I just read part of a huge thread on this... and it sounds like some women like it and some women take a long time to get used to the feeling. i'm a little confused. I don't want to spend like months trying to get used to the feeling... i don't want to buy wierd toys or have him add one finger at a time until I'm used to it! Another question: is Aloe Vera gel really a good lube? That seems odd to me...

  5. Lexxa

    Lexxa New Member

    I don't think you'll be able to get around the getting used to it part.

    I think you should try a thicker lube like maximus.

  6. Guest

    Guest Guest

    Very funny, jul.
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 8, 2013

  7. Juicy-Juls

    Juicy-Juls Active Member

    Actually I wasn't trying to be funny..i was being serious but I think my sense of humor is always shinning...

    Sorry gals if it came across that way...

    I did however have an incident where we tried and the pain sent me through the roof..So we tried the relaxing, stimulating it etc...And I was not able to successfully accomplish it..It really did hurt, and I here of so many woman that do enjoy it like younglove was saying that I was too hoping that there might be a "secret" .
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 24, 2013

  8. Echo in Light

    Echo in Light New Member

    I dunno. My wife, then girlfriend, really wanted it, as in she fantasized about it versus enduring it in order to please a man because he'd been conditioned through porn to think all women will or should enjoy it. Her influence was a pornographic paperback novel. The physical and psychological pressure involved with the social stigma of anal sex either revs a woman's motor or it doesn't, and shouldn't be attempted if she's noticably uncomfortable with the member/orifice size discrepancies, or if she's very worried about trying to live by others' ideals.
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 24, 2013

  9. Tarsia

    Tarsia New Member

    I find, at least for me, it's not so much a matter of getting used to the size but a matter of relaxing. I mean, I haven't played a lot with anal, but I can get warmed up to cock size fairly easily in a session --- start with a finger and he works things up as I relax and adjust more and more. I think a lot of it is both mental and also has to do with how much body control one has. Once I identified how to relax back there (played a bit with myself in the shower), it's easy for me to recapture that. Of course, the unreal amount of trust I have in my SO really helps as well.. I'm not anxious about him rushing things or such. He's going to make sure I'm ready before he slides on in.

    But, it's also pretty mental for me. I really want him to, I have total trust, and I'm able to relax fairly easily, so it all comes together pretty well.

  10. Charlene

    Charlene New Member

    The secret is relaxing, once you learn to do this, you will enjoy it very much.

    Go to a "toy store" (adult) and get yourself a "Butt Plug". Find a time to be alone. Lubricate your self with "Vaseline". Lay on your tummy, spread your legs, start pushing the small end of the plug into yourself, do not force it, just keep slight pressure on it and as your rectum relaxes the plug will go futher in until it will be in up to it's neck. Do not push the intire plug into yourself. Now just lay there and relax. You should now be able to withdraw the plug and push it back in without discomfort. When you can do this several times in quick succession, you are ready to let your husband insert his penis into you.

    You will not believe how happy you are going to make your husband, he will have happy tails to think about.
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 24, 2013

  11. NaughtyNicky

    NaughtyNicky Member

    I agree that it's a total mindset. I have NEVER been influenced by the idea of something being "taboo" it's either taboo to YOU or it's not. Society can't tell you what YOU think is bad. I have never used lubricant and only in the last relationship did he usually "prep" me for it (fingering) and size most certainly has no relevance.

    With the first person (and smallest of the three) it was a little painful to start, but fine and enjoyable, with the second person it was painful everytime and I didn't particularly enjoy it because he didn't really seem to care and I never spoke up. With the third and most recent OH MY GOD! I couldnt get enough and he was BY FAR the biggest (5cm in diameter and 20cm in length, by estimation!).

    For some reason it was just GREAT every time!

    Jul - The entrance of the head is most definitely the most painful part if it's going to be painful at all.
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 24, 2013

  12. shopaholic85

    shopaholic85 New Member

    the first time my boyfriend and i tryed anal it felt fine didn't hurt.... then we tried again a couple of months later and it hurt so bad i screamed in pain too and burst out crying lol....

  13. NaughtyNicky

    NaughtyNicky Member

    That sounds like it's quite probably the angle then. The slightest shift in angle can make things go from pleasure to pain in an instant.

  14. biochemical

    biochemical Member

    i could add one more thing to what has been said: try to play with yourself as he is entering you. for me this is the fastest way to come.
    sometimes it takes the head only :-D LOL
    makes me feel
    female equivalent of one minute man lol

  15. why

    why New Member

    yeah hurts me too!! And I have been super lubed up its just the pain is so intense. I have done it a couple times but now it's so painful. I have a toy that is super slick and he tryed to insert it (slender egg top g-spot stim.) and even he was like it won't go in lol!

  16. Juicy-Juls

    Juicy-Juls Active Member

    hehehe...I think mine is just plain 'closed off' to the idea...B/C it does not matter how relaxed or lubed up I am, it feels like I am being stabbed with a knife not his weenie...

  17. ladysixty9

    ladysixty9 New Member

    I have helped out many with this type of play and it is very different from reg sex.
    If you want to get where you can have anal sex you have to start out way smaller. Many mention being relaxed and that is important. You also have to use a ton of lube and start small a finger is a good first item and the shower with a soapy finger if a good way. You should also epect it to take a few weeks to be able to take a man. Also never use anything but water based lube for anal play.
    It can be incredible and I can cum from anal sex and it is incredible.


  18. Echo in Light

    Echo in Light New Member

    I think it's important to de-emphasize sodomy on behalf of the ones who feel pressured into it, as in, feeling like something is missing because you either can't or just don't. It's par for the course with my wife, and really isn't all that uncommon for some women to derive pleasure from it ... but you hear equally the flipside; the women who truly find it disgusting and/or painful, and automatically associate negative connotations with the act due to the biologic functions of the anus, and the social stigma associated with homophobia and even pornographic influence.

    Different strokes for different folks [​IMG]
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 24, 2013

  19. maryberry1987

    maryberry1987 New Member

    I've tried anal several times. He gets it in, and we got at it. A few times it's been very very pleasurable because I play with myself while he strokes...but this last time we tried it (just a couple weeks ago) It was in and it felt SO good, but he took it out so we could switch positions and when he tried to re-enter OW, it burned like hell...We added a lot more lube, and I was relaxed seeing as how I wanted it really badly, but we had to give up because it was burning. Weird...I would like to have anal once the baby is born, because right now it's just too akward. Not because I'm pregnant, but because I can't move around and I'm not as nimble as I was pre-pregnancy. Aww the sacrifices lol.

  20. maryberry1987

    maryberry1987 New Member

    by the way, the first time we tried we were 16 and both drunk, he put it in with no lube or anything, and I thought it was bleeding! So, I dunno, not a good idea to do it while drunk. Then a few times after that we had anal and I didn't like the way it felt, but now I really want it....maybe it's the hormones talking?! :rolleyes:


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