In talking about healing, we need to address the obvious question - what has wounded us in the first place? Every human being has emotional damage from childhood, disillusionment from relationships and the inescapable pain of being here on the planet in a physical form which belies our spiritual reality. In other words, just being born and living involves a loss of innocence and an adjustment of expectations.
By the time a child leaves school and then later, home, it has learned to accommodate an adult worldview which mainly consists of rules, conventions and disguise. The perfect inner child is subdued, in hiding, lost. Why else do we reach for drugs (of all kinds), consume too much alcohol, sweat the small stuff, develop illnesses, eat for comfort, and even, sometimes, drive ourselves to premature death? It sounds pretty grim but not if we make the choice of health over sickness, joy over struggle, honesty over pretence and life over existence. And that's where healing comes in. There are many forms of healing, primarily: emotional, psychological, physical and spiritual. Let's look at each in turn.
Emotional
The best form of emotional healing comes through forgiveness, whether in spirit or in fact. Whatever has been done to us or not done for us, letting go is a powerful weapon in the fight against bitterness, anger and cynicism. Acceptance is where it all begins - acceptance of our own imperfections and therefore others'; letting go of judgment, stereotyping and prejudices; allowing ourselves to be who we truly are. We are empowered by surrendering the easy option of hating and lusting for revenge. Whether we feel wounded by our own personal history or by world events, especially in recent times, we need to find a peaceful sanctuary in the confines of our own hearts in order for any healing to take place.
Recognizing that emotion is simply energy is also very liberating. Society teaches us that some emotions are desirable, like love, joy and caring; whilst others are unpalatable, like jealousy, fear and sadness. By dividing our feelings into "good" and "bad", we split the very essence of our deepest selves. It's like rejecting parts we don't like and treating them as shameful instead of embracing ourselves wholly in a celebration of humanness.
Some experts say that all emotions can be classified under the two broad umbrellas of love and fear. A student of mine suggested that this actually means love and the lack of love. This is a distinction I can accept. Once we accept all of our feelings as good and heal ourselves through love, when we love ourselves and others unconditionally and spiritually, there can be no fear present. Love and fear cannot live together in the human heart. We become emotionally healthy only when we accept our shadow-selves as much as our positive side, letting them exist side by side, without judgment or self-censure. In time, fear and other "negative" emotions will be diminished. By acceptance, we take away power from the dark parts of ourselves that we're most afraid of.
Psychological
This form of healing is necessary where the wounding is very deep and has been covered over by lack of awareness and layers of denial and avoidance. Once recognition of these defense mechanisms occurs, healing can take place. It might still be a long and painful road, but it has begun. Once a person walks in for counseling, for instance, they have already moved out of denial and into the beginnings of self-acceptance which includes failings, weaknesses and outdated beliefs. When we can say without fear, "I don't have any answers," we are on our way to the recovery of that precious loss - our true selves. Psychological healing doesn't only happen through counseling but can take the form of meditation, bodywork, spiritual practices, tai chi, yoga, relaxation therapy, massage, study, reading and writing; just to name a few.
The only requirement is a desire to do it, then a "how-to" and then a follow-through. It sounds simple but it could take a long time to unravel the mysteries of the past and heal the pain of our experiences. Those who choose to go all the way will find, at the end of the journey, the joy of a life lived in completeness, where true freedom is ever-present and fear is a distant memory.
Physical
Disease is as much a product of the mind as the body; therefore, we must seek the origins of our sickness in our attitudes, beliefs and past experiences. If we are not physically healthy, we can often seek healing in these places. The mind is incredibly powerful and sometimes, getting well is as much a matter of will-power as it is of treatment. Prevention is the key and this happens when we take responsibility for our own health and are proactive in safeguarding it. Balance is an essential ingredient in the mix - we need to look at our patterns of living, our diet, levels of exercise, quality of sleep and recreation activities. Lifestyle is what determines our health or lack of it. Sometimes, just a modest adjustment can make a huge difference.
Managing stress is essential as too much stress can kill. If you don't die from it, your quality of life will be nevertheless significantly reduced. Everyone has stress; only the degree varies, and how it's handled. It's not a 21st century invention but the complexity and insecurity of life in modern times is a heavy contributor to the increase in stress levels and stress-related illness. So, a cautionary concern for wellbeing is vital - not addiction to exercise or paranoid obsession with fitness but an overall caring for one's physical health.
Spiritual
Spiritual nourishment comes from within but can be enhanced by a variety of outside activities and pursuits. We grow spiritually from music, poetry, art, nature, children, animals, play, religion, esoteric interests, laughter and self-expression. How does one gauge spiritual ill-health? A perplexing question, indeed. We know when we're physically ill, we know when we're unhappy or depressed, and we can usually tell if we have a persistent psychological disorder but spiritual death is often unrecognized and therefore, ignored. The consequences are just as dire and probably far more subtle, their effects only evident after prolonged neglect.
Look for secondary symptoms such as malaise, feelings of futility, nihilism, a sense of hopelessness, powerlessness, joylessness, extreme negativity. Getting in touch with your spiritual centre may be what's needed to combat these and it may be as simple as sitting in silence for short periods to still the chaotic mind and stem the tides of panic and fear. Spirituality is part of the life-force as is creativity, joy and sexuality. Therefore, it's as natural as breathing. It's not something we need to learn or manufacture.
Healing is a composite of all the above. Try to recognize what you need every day of your life and supply those to yourself. Don't let them pile up and accumulate like dirty laundry. To heal yourself is not to "fix" yourself, as you are perfectly perfect and need no repairs. When you accept yourself in all your variety, polarities and wonderful imperfection, healing will come easily and as surely as the day follows the night.
Related articles:
Stress Busting
Stress And Women – What You Don’t Know
The Power Of The Feminine
Keeping A Journal
Childhood Self-Esteem
Bereavement
