Your Dreams 2009
Are you convinced your dreams are trying to tell you something? If you think there's a message hidden in your dreams then Charmaine may be able to help you interpret it. She provides dream analysis for a number of newspapers and magazines and is now helping Aphrodite's readers understand their dreams. You can email Charmaine for help and read her weekly interpretations here. More recent dream interpretations are available here.
Mom And Me Have Same Kidnapping Dream
15 December, 2009
Q. Ever since I was little I have had dreams about someone coming through my window to kidnap me and I am not able to scream. Lately my mom has been dreaming of a stalker trying to get to me. What could this mean?
A. I'm usually reluctant to declare any dream to be issuing a warning because most of them, even the scary ones, are not doing that. But as both you and your mom are having the same type of dream right now, I would suggest caution, especially in regard to danger from strangers, intruders and the like. No need to worry but just be more aware for the time being. If you have recurring dreams about being kidnapped, there are two possibilities - as a child, you either had a scary experience that left you emotionally scarred, or you read/saw something about kidnapping and it stuck in your mind. Children are very impressionable - that's why they have nightmares more than adults. Another option is that your mum knows about your dreams and your anxieties/fears could've transferred to her, hence both of you experiencing frightening dreams. Apart from being extra careful for now, try to relax and let go of your nervous thoughts.
1 December, 2009
Q. I was at home, sitting in the kitchen at the table waiting for my boyfriend to come pick me up. His mom came to pick me up with him in the car because he can't drive. My mom and dad were there listening to music and moving about the house normally. I had a cell phone which my boyfriend had called me on to say he was on his way. My boyfriend's mom must've pulled up because I see him sit on the porch as if he's waiting for me. At that moment I yelled for him to wait while I scurried around trying to find a belt to tighten my pants. I could hear myself say this, it was raining outside and I was thinking he got wet so he went to his mother's car and all I saw was a flash of his red t-shirt and I ran after him but when I got outside they sped away as if they didn't see me. I sat down outside on a step and cried because he left and I felt so strongly that for whatever reason I needed to go with him. Then I was suddenly dressed in a red graduation cap and gown and his mom came back and parked as if waiting for me. Three females got out of the car with the same red cap and gown on as I had on but I didn't know who they were. One was Asian, one was African American and very beautiful and I don't remember what the other one looked like, but they said they were looking for me and to come with them. They called me "pretty girl." I got up and suddenly smiled thinking that my boyfriend came back and this was all some kind of misunderstanding. I got to the car and opened the back door and he wasn't there. Some girl in a red graduation uniform was in the back seat and my boyfriend's female cousin that I know. There was room for me and no one else but the other 3 females were standing outside as if they were waiting to get in after me. The African American girl hugged me and smiled and said, "Aww. It's okay, pretty girl." My boyfriend's mom was also there. She was the driver and dressed in red as well but it was puzzling to me that I couldn't see her facial expression. For some reason I felt kind of scared and uncomfortable. Then I woke up very afraid. It all seemed to be really happening. I'm not sure what all this means but I think that means something and would like to know as soon as possible.
A. Actually, everyone dreams every night. You probably aren't a natural recaller, that's all. For someone like you, a detailed dream would be significant and meaningful. I think it's to do with the current problems you're having with your guy. The dream indicates some sort of insecurity and red signifies anger/passion. So, you're clearly grappling with some deep emotions. Until you unravel them, this type of dream will recur for you. Are you worried about your boyfriend with other women? Do you wonder if his mum likes you? Get down to the essence of these issues so you can release any anxiety you have. Sort things out with your guy - whatever's bothering you.
17 November, 2009
Q. I'm having some back to back dreams about three men. One of them I'm currently talking to, the other, we hit things off, now he calls me once a month, the last one, I used to like in middle school through the 10th grade. We never dated, we never had a conversation, he was really popular, and he knew I liked him. Then just last night, I had a dream about guy number 2. What is going on? This has never happened before.
A. Dreams of past guys usually mean unresolved issues with those relationships but your case is a little different. The question you could ask yourself is - why these particular men? There must have been others you were interested in along the way. Also, one you liked in the more distant past, one you used to like and one you like currently. Is that the only common thread? If you can find what these guys all represent, you will unlock the meaning of the dream. The message may have to be dug our but one thing is certain - these dreams are not a coincidence; they definitely mean something. All I can do is point the way - think about they're like, how do they make you feel, their looks, personality, anything that will offer clues. This is not about the 3 men but about you and I'm betting it's an emotional matter. Maybe you're worried that the current guy will fade away like the others. Whatever it is, let the fear go and trust the present.
Baby On Fire
3 November, 2009
Q. I had an extremely vivid and disturbing dream this morning. In the dream I walk into a place I was not familiar with, only to find a small child sitting on hot coals in a large fire pit. Around the child was a bag that was essentially "steaming" the child and the wording on the bag said "to maintain juiciness". I remember grabbing the child out of the pit and just holding on to it screaming and yelling that "you can't do this"; the child was not crying and seemed to have a blank expression on its face (which to me was equally disturbing). I tried to take the child away but the next thing I know, my husband comes up saying that "it is necessary for him and though he feels about it, he HAS to do it". In my dream I don't remember relinquishing the child because it then fast forwarded to after my husband completed his "meal" and I nearly vomited in my sleep. I have three children (6, 4, and 2) but the child in the dream was not any of my children nor did it look even remotely close to any of them. My husband was out with an old buddy of his last night so he was not at home while I was having the dream. I have read dream interpretations where the cannibal is either eating the dreamer or the dreamer is the cannibal, but I haven't seen anything about a family member being the cannibal and eating an unknown person.
A. What an awful dream. No wonder you were upset. The child in the dream is not intended to be one of your own children nor, in fact, an actual child. I think it's your inner child. Why does it feel vulnerable? It is clearly indicated in this dream that you feel your inner child is under threat. Moreover, your husband is the predator! He's consuming you. The message is clear. The next step is to figure out what is causing you to feel this way. Is he a dominating personality? This issue runs very deep and requires an honest look at yourself, your husband and your marriage. Do some reading about the inner child which is the free, fun, happy part of you. If it's being suppressed by anything or anyone, you have to fight to protect it.
20 October, 2009
Q. I was wondering if you could help me understand if there is an actual meaning behind my dream or if it is just some type of insecurity. This dream has come to me twice this week. I am dreaming about my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend. In the dream we meet in person to discuss what seems to be our problem with each other. What's weird about it is I cannot remember even speaking in this dream nor do I recall her ever speaking about anything regarding her dislike for me. She is his ex of 4yrs and it turns out that he left her for me. She blames me and has expressed that to me in Feb, early on in our relationship. I later found out that he was still involved with her while involved with me. My boyfriend and I have grown past this but I find it strange that I am now having these dreams about her after so long. Is this just my sub-conscious trying to say I think things were not resolved properly?
A. It's the feeling of a dream that often brings out the meaning/message rather than the actual events. What was said in your dream and what you can or cannot remember is not as important as figuring out what it's trying to tell you. If you've had the dream more than once, its message is urgent. Can you think why it's happening now? Are you going through emotional or relationship changes at present that may be bringing these insecurities on? I think you're on the right track when you say it's coming from unresolved issues. Maybe you feel guilty because your boyfriend left her for you but that's not your responsibility. Their relationship is theirs to deal with. If they were happy, he wouldn't have wanted someone else. Let the past go, live in the present and the dream will have no reason to come back.
6 October, 2009
Q. Last night I had a dream about myself performing "When You Believe" on a large televised stage, kind of like the Pop/American Idol set. In my dream I had gone back to being about 12 years old, even my voice sounded young but still very good and I was watching myself as I am now (25 years old) and was very impressed, emotional in fact and very proud almost like a mother would be! I am a professional singer but have recently moved from England to Australia and have not done much public performing. I know that I miss it a lot and am currently trying to get back in to it again. I am just wondering what the dream means, looking at myself as I was 12 years ago and I wonder also if the song has some relevance? I also had a dream that one of my girlfriends from home had called me and was gossiping about some of our other friends, I remember just thinking I really don’t care. I remember thinking in my dream that I considered my friends very childish and didn’t have time for them anymore.
A. Isn't that the song Susan Boyle sang on the talent show that made her famous? If it is, there was a lot of media coverage which might have influenced your dream. Regardless, the song title does have significance as belief is essential for success in life. As you're a singer yourself, it's quite likely that you wish for performing success yourself. Did you have ambitions to sing professionally when you were around 12? That's how dreams work - they show us scenarios from past, present and future that are part fantasy and part reality. The singing child represents your inner child and it's totally appropriate for you to feel pride at her accomplishments. As to your old friends, the dream is telling you that you have moved on and left them in the past.
All In The Family
22 September, 2009
Q. I had a dream where I ask my aunt on a date and tell her that I love her. Could you help me with what this dream means?
A. Is this an aunt you are particularly fond of or close to? Please don't worry about the inappropriateness of this situation. Dreams often show us things we would never actually do but that's precisely the point. Dreams are about experiences and feelings we keep under wraps during our waking lives. That's not to say you're in love with your aunt. You might just love her a lot in the usual way, or alternatively, you want to get closer to this lady. Maybe you're feeling generally lonely or isolated from others at present. Put aside the aunt issue and do something practical about getting happier and more involved with other people.
8 September, 2009
Q. I am one of 4 siblings and the youngest. Last month my 2nd oldest brother passed away from cancer. He was diagnosed quite late and only had a few months left with us. Of all my siblings, I felt a closer connection with him. He was wonderful to me growing up and has left me with many, many fantastic memories of that time in my life. When I had my daughter, he was just as good to her as he was me. He came to stay with me the beginning of February as he was truly too ill to look after himself and I nursed him as best I possibly could. Physically it was tiring, but mentally it took a huge toll. It's not that I didn't realize fully that all I was doing, was making things as comfortable and easy for Jim as I could, because I did, but I found each time he had a "better" day, my hopes would cling onto that, in that he was maybe getting better, and then the next day, he would be very ill again. I had many late night visits with him, as he seemed to be more aware and awake through the nights than through the days, which was tiring, but I cherish every second I had with him and wouldn't go back and change a thing differently. I am recently having many dreams about Jim coming back to my home. I know in the dream he has passed, but I greet him as though it is very normal for him to be here also. He is always still ill with the cancer in my dreams and I am still nursing him, in whatever ways I can, but it is comfortable for me being with him, not frightening that he has returned after passing. He doesn't present himself as a spirit or angel, but just as my brother Jim would be and had been while he was ill. My question is, am I just missing him and it's manifesting in the dream state or could he be actually communicating in some way to me through my dreams?
A. That's the $64,000 question. There's no definitive proof on this subject. It's very much a personal belief. I lost a very close friend last year and she visits me in my dreams all the time. I believe that it's more than my missing her. In your case, though, you see your brother as he was in life which makes me think it's more to do with your feelings about his death. Most experts in this area say that if spirits visit, they appear young and healthy again. I think the intensity of your relationship with Jim is causing you to conjure him up so much. Have you grieved properly? I think it will help if you get some closure so you can know that you gave him a terrific gift - but let him go now.
Boyfriend On The Other Side
25 August, 2009
Q. My boyfriend died 3 years ago. During the first year since he passed away, I would dream that he was back to talk to me - like he was asking for forgiveness about something. The thing is, we are always interrupted and he can’t say what he has come to say. At times I dream that I’m wandering in the cemetery, looking for his grave, and when I find it, I would sleep on top of it. Sometimes he appears, but he is so far away from me, I can’t touch or talk to him, but he is there. I’m really battling with these dreams.
A. Dreams of dead loved ones are important for the process of bereavement and closure. The form they take will depend a lot on the relationship you had with that person. What does your boyfriend need forgiveness for? Do you know or is that what's confusing you? I think the reason you're interrupted and he never gets to finish what's he's saying is because the words themselves are not important. If he died with some regret in his heart, that's why he keeps visiting you. To stop these dreams or change them, all you need to do is let him know he's forgiven with no reservation. Then he can truly rest in peace. The dream of lying on his grave is a tender experience where you can feel close to him again. He is too far away for you to reach him physically but not through love - that's always accessible. So, let him go but allow yourself to feel him close and him to live on in your memory.
12 August, 2009
Q. I have two recurring dreams I hope you can help me understand. In one, I am looking for a toilet, and I find a big block of public toilets but they are just disgustingly filthy dirty, blocked up, smelly, overflowing, just foul. When I finally find one half-decent, it is always exposed in some way, like no door etc. The toilets always seem to be in a school context, like it's a big high school toilet block/changeroom. But in my dream, I'm not a student. I always hated this dream, it seemed so gross, but I keep having it and when I googled it recently, it seems to be quite a common dream? There seems to be quite a few different interpretations of what it means and I am interested in how you would interpret it. In the second dream, I have the ability to fly around the room. I can just kind of levitate and fly around at ceiling level. I feel quite clever about having this ability and I always seem to do it to kind of show off, it's never an anxiety thing or I'm trying to escape. But when I try to stop it, either because someone in the dream asks or tells me to or I want to stop it myself, I can't get back to the ground. It's like a gift I have, but I can't control it.
A. The toilet dream is indeed common. I myself had that same dream over a period of years. My understanding of the meaning is that toilets represent our "rubbish" so when we see them in a dream and they're overflowing and blocked, I guess it's pretty obvious that we need to do some work in our waking life, whether emotional or psychological. On top of that, your dream left you exposed which means you feel vulnerable. In a school setting, this feeling probably relates to your past - a hurtful experience maybe? To stop this dream, you need only let go of any negative habits, ideas or behaviors that are causing problems for you. Flying means freedom so if you use it in a dream but can't control it, this tells me you are taking your love of freedom too far, perhaps shirking responsibility, refusing to grow up, that type of thing. Only you can know what applies but the dream's message is clear - get grounded!
Nephew On The Other Side
28 July, 2009
Q. I had a very disturbing dream last night where I had sex with my nephew who died 5 years ago. This was on a couch in my parent’s house and my dad walked in but did not see us. And my nephew said he cannot stop. What can this possibly mean?
A. It's not as weird as it seems to you. Dreams of sex with relatives are actually quite common, for a variety of reasons. It's not about sex as such but more to do with connection. As your nephew is dead, the dream has even more meaning. Was there a special bond between him and you when he was alive? Have you missed him a lot? These feelings could definitely create a dream of love-making with him. You have nothing to worry about. There's no sinister message. It could even be your nephew's way of reaching out to you from the other side. Let it go and hope for some less worrying dreams of him in the future.
14 July, 2009
Q. My daughter Olivia has had a recurring dream for about the last 2 months. In her dream she is unable to find me and she gets really scared. In each dream there are different people and situations, but the link between them is she can't find me. I am a stay at home mum, so am available to her 24-7. I spend most of my time with her, so I don't understand why she is dreaming about this. The only thing that I can think of is my Mum passed away suddenly last November. Do you think there is a connection?
A. You don't mention your daughter's age which is a crucial factor. Children have more nightmares than adults because of their innocence and vivid imaginations. As you say you stay at home for your daughter, I will assume she's quite young and analyze your dream on that basis. Her dream is clearly caused by anxiety and yes, losing her grandmother could certainly bring this on. Death is hard for anyone to absorb, let alone a child. This dream is simply her subconscious's way of dealing with her fears. I suggest you talk to her and allow her to discuss her feelings so they don't have to dominate her sleep anymore.
30 June, 2009
Q. I would like your opinion on what these dreams are trying to tell me. My husband and I are looking at a house. We realize it is exactly what we want. The Realtor tells us the price and we are so happy because it is what we can afford. We pay the money and sign papers. We walk out of the house and we see my husband's ex. In one of the dreams (I've had this dream twice), I immediately turn to my husband and say we have to sell the house. In the other dream, his ex is smiling, real happy and talking to us and I tell my husband we have to move. I don't know if it matters but in the first dream, we are walking out the front door and in the second, the back. A couple of months later I had these two dreams on subsequent nights but they weren't as vivid. In one I see my husband talking and laughing with his ex. And I think they are so happy. I walk up to them, my husband looks at me but doesn't acknowledge I'm there and he continues his conversation. I can't hear what they are saying though. In the second one, my husband and I are meeting his friends (that I don't care for) for dinner. When we get there, my husband's ex and her husband are there. We sit down and everyone is talking but I don't know what to say. I just sit there feeling awkward and uncomfortable. When I say my husband's ex, I mean from 23 years ago. We all live in the same city but rarely run into each other. Why am I having dreams about my husband and this woman?
A. Dreams do merge past, present and future. Something usually triggers a memory or event from the past. Any idea what it is in this case? The details are not as important as the underlying message which seems to be insecurity about your husband. If you see any truth in this, try to address it as the dreams will continue until you do. There's a degree of general lack of confidence portrayed in these dreams too, as you are ignored by your husband at one stage and in another incident, you say you felt uncomfortable. These dreams are quite telling about you, so learn from them.
16 June, 2009
Q. In my dream I was on vacation somewhere tropical and I met a very beautiful female and I remember every single detail about her but I can't remember her face except for hazel eyes. We had our sexual moments and our sit down and talk moments as well. I have a girlfriend but she looks nothing like the girl from my dream. The weirdest thing of all is I felt as if I fell in love with a girl I have never seen in my life and that she was all but a dream. Can you interpret that?
A. You literally experienced a "dream girl." Regardless of whether or not you have a girlfriend in waking life, we can all dream of an ideal man or woman. In fact, people who are single are encouraged to create dream lovers as a healthy way to have love in their lives until they meet a real-life potential partner. Your having this dream does not mean you're unhappy with your girlfriend or don't love her enough. This dream woman is not real. She's a good kind of fantasy. There's no harm whatsoever in it.
3 June, 2009
Q. I hope you can help me with this recurring dream. Last night (in my dream), I was packing my suitcase because I had to leave quickly, I was very panicked and things would not fit in and I had to leave a lot behind. Another dream I have had often is that I have to move immediately and am packing a suitcase and that is all I can take because of time and am fretting because I have to leave all my homewares behind but have to get out of there fast.
A. Packing is always about movement, as you would expect. As you've dreamt about this more than once, either you're wishing for some excitement in your life or there's change predicted. Have you got any travel in the pipeline, or other move? What concerns me though is the anxiety levels associated with this activity. You're always in a hurry and forced to leave important items behind. Are you living your life too fast? Experiencing too much stress? This dream is definitely a wake-up call, warning you to slow down. It's not healthy to rush about too much and get insufficient rest.
19 May, 2009
Q. I always have dreams where I have to choose between my fiancé and my ex-boyfriend. This boyfriend is from about 8 years ago, when I was 14 years old. It was a very innocent relationship because I was not ready to be sexual at all. We were together for about 6 months, but I truly loved him. He was an amazing person and he helped me through a rough time in my life. I think he still loves me to this day and would be with me in a heartbeat if I asked him too. In my dreams he is always telling me how much he loves me and I always choose my current fiancé over him. We have very little contact through e-mail. No phone or face to face contact. It’s really making me feel like I'm making a mistake marrying my fiancé. Help me please!
A. I get more letters about exes than just about any other subject. My usual answer is that dreams of exes are always to do with unresolved past issues. This meaning is intensified when the dream recurs and your case guarantees that it's urgent. You may think there's nothing to work out with your ex but your dreams are saying different. Of course you're not crazy. Maybe it's as simple as speaking to him personally. It's always better to have positive relations with everyone as far as possible. Whatever your regrets or resentments are from the past, it's time to let go. The dreams are making that very clear. You don't really have to choose between the past and the present. I think the fact that you liked this boy when you were young and innocent also makes it a kind of fantasy, therefore, hard to shake off. It's just all getting mixed up in your dreams and you're allowing them to confuse you. Follow your intuition, be with the man you love and stop doubting.
6 May, 2009
Q. I'm 18 and, well, I keep having dreams that my boyfriend's cheating on me with my cousin. When I confront him, he flips it on me and tells me to stop acting dumb and stop with my stupid jealousy issues. I'm not a jealous person but lately I have this gut feeling that he's cheating on me! I love this guy but I want to know if it's something for me to worry about. At the same time, I keep having dreams with my ex-boyfriend that I was with for 2-and-a-1/2 years. At the same time in that dream, I regret ever talking to him and realize I love my boyfriend that I'm with now. Please help me and let me know what these dreams mean.
A. You should never accuse someone of anything based on a dream. Not because dreams are not real, but they're not literal, only a reflection of our waking reality, like the flip-side. The dreams may very well be warning you of potential danger, especially as they're recurring but, by going on about them to your boyfriend, you're only losing your credibility. Wait till you have real evidence. Your intuition is a different matter. If you're having gut feelings about infidelity then check it out by all means. If you really love him, sort it out then let it go.
21 April, 2009
Q. Last night I dreamt that my family was going to a second funeral for my grandmother, my mother and I walking in together (this was my father's mother). The location was a funeral home, her body more brown and grey. I sat down at the foot of the casket, crying. I turned and her eyes opened briefly, went shut and then opened again. They were the deepest blue. My aunt came over and said, "She's warming up." Her eyes fluttered again, the casket turned into a gurney, my aunt wheeling her out of the room and then she said, "I want to talk to Becky, I want to talk to Becky," which is me and then I woke up. Any thoughts?
A. As I always say when asked about dreams of dead loved ones, the interpretation depends on your belief about the afterlife. I personally believe that our loved ones can visit us after death but with your particular dream, I think it springs from your own desire for your Gran to be still alive. That's why the coffin turned into a gurney. A coffin represents death whereas a gurney is a hospital trolley designed to help. In hospitals, people have a chance of getting better. Hence, your aunt saying your grandmother had `warmed up, and her eyes turning bright blue, indicating good health.' This meaning is intensified by you hearing her calling your name. You want her to be alive and speaking to you - perfectly natural. These dreams may continue until you resolve the loss of an important loved one.
8 April, 2009
Q. Early this morning, I dreamt of having worms in my mouth. The worms were still in their pods hanging on the roof of my mouth and there were a lot of them. But I can visually see the inside of my mouth looking at these worms in their pods ready to hatch or come out. I was not scared, not in fear but was only shocked and wondering why they were there. The worms were white in color, the pods that they were enclosed in were cream in color. The worms were not harmful, not as they seem visually and they did not hurt and/or inflict any pain at all. They were just hanging on the roof of my mouth. BTW, I know last night I had a few questions for myself regarding a decision I need to make about my career/work choice and in addition trying to determine my actual move to another city and possibly another state. I have been contemplating on these two decisions for quite some time, if that's relevant.
A. It always helps for me to know what's on your mind when you go to sleep as this affects your dreams. In this case, though, it doesn't seem to be directly related. Think about worms mean. They're pretty disgusting to most people and the thought of having them in our mouths is the stuff of horror movies. The fact that you weren't scared and the worms weren't harmful tells me the dream has a positive meaning. Here's what I think the link is between the worms and your decision - because they're in your mouth, ready to hatch, I believe you are concerned about something you have to say, perhaps to the person who won't like the choice you make. Indecision is very stressful so stop fretting, make a decision and ensure no more wormy dreams!
Child in Danger
24 March, 2009
Q. Last night I woke from the most horrific dream, it had me in tears to think of why I would dream such a thing and now I can't get it out of my head! It was pretty short, it consisted of me thinking my daughter was fairly quiet in her bedroom, aged 2 1/2, so I went to check up on her. When I opened the door there was a man, unknown to myself who looked very pleased with the fact that he had just sexually abused my daughter. I ran into the room and kicked the man in the head and at that point I woke up. This dream has really scared me, I can't get it out of my head and it's getting me down. I know that nothing like this is happening in real life and never has to me so I'm just wanting to know what the meaning of this dream must be? I hope you can help me as lack of sleep and worry is really starting to effect me. I am also 21 weeks pregnant.
A. I can certainly understand why this dream upset you so much but please don't take it literally and lose sleep over it. As you say, the events depicted don't have any basis in reality so you need not worry. I don't think it has anything to do with your daughter being actually abused. I'm glad you mentioned being pregnant because that explains your dream. It is simply a reflection of your feelings of protectiveness over your existing child and the one coming. You might be unconsciously anxious about the welfare of them both. Our emotions can play games with our minds so rest easy and you won't have nasty dreams anymore.
10 March, 2009
Q. My boyfriend in my dream has slept with our friend and my sister and then told me in my dream he didn't even when I saw him in my dream doing this.
A. You seem to have a lot of doubts about this guy. The dream clearly tells me this. Now, what you have to work out is if there's any truth to your suspicions and fears. If you just have an over-active imagination, it's up to you to change your thinking so you don't end up damaging your relationship. If, on the other hand, your dream is telling you need to watch out for him, check it out and break it off with him if you need to. My main warning to you is - things you see in dreams are not necessarily true so don't sweat on it and make it happen. Dreams occur to help us see things more clearly, not obscure our vision.
25 February, 2009
Q. I had a weird dream of me climbing up to a helicopter and then falling from it. What does this mean?
A. Falling is one of the most common dream experiences. It's always about feeling out of control. Your dream has the added dimension of the helicopter. Do you have any special connection or interest in this mode of travel? There's no specific message that I can see about riding in a helicopter but falling out signifies danger and powerlessness. So, to decipher what this dream wants to tell you, think about what in your waking life currently makes you feel scared or helpless? As always, get that clue straight and the meaning will become clear. Then you can address whatever the issue is and hopefully, let it go.
Ex Still Around
10 February, 2009
Q. I have a recurring dream about my ex-boyfriend. The funny thing is we broke up eight years ago and remained friends and talked on a regular basis until one year ago. After our breakup, he moved away and wanted me to visit then move with him. After all we had been through, I couldn't. He used to tell me he was ready to get married and that he would not wait forever so I better hurry. After almost two years, I had a strong dream and feeling that he was married/ getting married or had a baby on the way. I had to call him and he would not admit anything. It turns out he was visiting my MySpace page, although he doesn't have one, was married and had a baby girl who was one at the time. He was contacting my best friend and talking with her. She just happened to tell me one day that he "stalks" my page. Well, I found it kind of creepy which prompted my call to him during which he admitted having dreams about us and our sex life when we were together. I also found out his sister had passed from cancer (she hated me.) The dreams I am having are becoming more and more detailed now. When we were together, his family did not really like me. He is white and I am black and I am 4-1/2 years older than him. We dated from the time I was 23/19 to 30/26 - we were into some drugs and good times, but not addicts. We moved in together three weeks after we met. He changed colleges for me on his own, so needless to say his family was shocked and his sister was borderline racist. In my dream last night, his mother liked me and never said anything bad about me to his current wife. His sister gave me advice on our relationship and how to get him back. His Dad said he missed me and his nephew was a kid again and playful. I remember feeling out of place and wondering why they were being friendly with me. It felt good. My question is why am I having these dreams? I have not spoken to him, but want to. He does not have my new number, but does have this email address. I know I shouldn't because he is happy. But, my gut is telling me something is going on with him and I can't put my finger on it. Maybe his wife is pregnant again. I don't know. Why would his sister be in my dream and be nice to me?
A. As I often say, I get more letters about exes than just about any other subject. It's not hard to understand as broken relationships often leave us unsettled and hurting. In your case, you've both moved on but I agree that if he's checking you constantly online, there's something going on with him. If I had to guess, I'd say he's not gotten over you - simple as that. Why don't you contact him and just ask him how he's doing in a casual way? You can tell him you've been having dreams and just wondered if he was okay. As to the content of your dreams, as his sister has died, it's possible her spirit is visiting you to say she's sorry for the way she acted. The whole family treated you differently so perhaps that's how you wished it to be. Our dreams often reflect our innermost desires. Take this as a sign that you have unresolved issues with this guy and do something about it very soon.
Mom On The Other Side
28 January, 2009
Q. I have dreams of my mother. She passed away 5 years ago and when she comes to me in my dreams, she talks to me but I don't understand what she is saying. What does that mean? Then some days we talk about my life and how the family is doing. Can you help me understand?
A. I personally believe that when we see dead loved ones in our dreams, they are actually communicating with us. This is in no way proven or provable but I've had a lot of personal experience with it. Recently a very close friend of mine passed away. I asked her before she died to communicate with me if she could. Since then, I've had many dreams of her with very clear messages. Sometimes, the communications will be vague and at others, vivid and powerful. It really doesn't matter. What's important is that your mother just wants you to know she's still with you. Enjoy her visits and don't sweat the meaning too much.
13 January, 2009
Q. I was wondering if you could interpret a dream I keep having. It's not an everyday dream. I dream this every couple of months. The dream I had last night was about my boyfriend leaving me for his ex-girlfriend. She told him she wanted him back and he left me for her. His ex is married and in the dream, she leaves her husband to be with my boyfriend, they have a daughter together and we have a son together. I don't know why I had this dream. In one of the previous dreams that I had the night before, I dreamed that he kept leaving me. He would act as though we were a couple and then when he would see me, he would act as though he didn't know me. These dreams have been occurring more and more often, I see my boyfriend was arrested 2 weeks ago and he will be there for a year. I am wondering if maybe him being gone could be causing these dreams? Please analyze them and let me know because they are driving me nuts!
A. Relax. Dreams aren't supposed to upset us even when they're scary or confusing. All recurring dreams contain an urgent message so let's try and decipher what yours is. From what you've described, I'm picking up very clearly a high degree of insecurity, fear and anxiety. I'm glad you told me your guy's in jail because that really explains it all - your feelings and the reason for the dream repeating. The details aren't important in this case and it's not actually about your guy going back to his ex. It's about loss. He's away from you at present so it's not hard to understand, is it? Be patient and he'll be back soon. Try not to worry because it will create more of the type of dream you've been having. If you relax and trust, the dreams will stop.
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