|
 Your Dreams
Are you convinced your dreams are trying to tell you something? If you think there's a message hidden in your dreams then Charmaine may be able to help you interpret it. She provides dream analysis for a number of newspapers and magazines and is now helping Aphrodite's readers understand their dreams. You can email Charmaine for help and read her weekly interpretations here.
His Ex
30 June, 2009
Q. I would like your opinion on what these dreams are trying to tell me. My husband and I are looking at a house. We realize it is exactly what we want. The Realtor tells us the price and we are so happy because it is what we can afford. We pay the money and sign papers. We walk out of the house and we see my husband's ex. In one of the dreams (I've had this dream twice), I immediately turn to my husband and say we have to sell the house. In the other dream, his ex is smiling, real happy and talking to us and I tell my husband we have to move. I don't know if it matters but in the first dream, we are walking out the front door and in the second, the back. A couple of months later I had these two dreams on subsequent nights but they weren't as vivid. In one I see my husband talking and laughing with his ex. And I think they are so happy. I walk up to them, my husband looks at me but doesn't acknowledge I'm there and he continues his conversation. I can't hear what they are saying though. In the second one, my husband and I are meeting his friends (that I don't care for) for dinner. When we get there, my husband's ex and her husband are there. We sit down and everyone is talking but I don't know what to say. I just sit there feeling awkward and uncomfortable. When I say my husband's ex, I mean from 23 years ago. We all live in the same city but rarely run into each other. Why am I having dreams about my husband and this woman?
A. Dreams do merge past, present and future. Something usually triggers a memory or event from the past. Any idea what it is in this case? The details are not as important as the underlying message which seems to be insecurity about your husband. If you see any truth in this, try to address it as the dreams will continue until you do. There's a degree of general lack of confidence portrayed in these dreams too, as you are ignored by your husband at one stage and in another incident, you say you felt uncomfortable. These dreams are quite telling about you, so learn from them.
Dream Girl
16 June, 2009
Q. In my dream I was on vacation somewhere tropical and I met a very beautiful female and I remember every single detail about her but I can't remember her face except for hazel eyes. We had our sexual moments and our sit down and talk moments as well. I have a girlfriend but she looks nothing like the girl from my dream. The weirdest thing of all is I felt as if I fell in love with a girl I have never seen in my life and that she was all but a dream. Can you interpret that?
A. You literally experienced a "dream girl." Regardless of whether or not you have a girlfriend in waking life, we can all dream of an ideal man or woman. In fact, people who are single are encouraged to create dream lovers as a healthy way to have love in their lives until they meet a real-life potential partner. Your having this dream does not mean you're unhappy with your girlfriend or don't love her enough. This dream woman is not real. She's a good kind of fantasy. There's no harm whatsoever in it.
Moving
3 June, 2009
Q. I hope you can help me with this recurring dream. Last night (in my dream), I was packing my suitcase because I had to leave quickly, I was very panicked and things would not fit in and I had to leave a lot behind. Another dream I have had often is that I have to move immediately and am packing a suitcase and that is all I can take because of time and am fretting because I have to leave all my homewares behind but have to get out of there fast.
A. Packing is always about movement, as you would expect. As you've dreamt about this more than once, either you're wishing for some excitement in your life or there's change predicted. Have you got any travel in the pipeline, or other move? What concerns me though is the anxiety levels associated with this activity. You're always in a hurry and forced to leave important items behind. Are you living your life too fast? Experiencing too much stress? This dream is definitely a wake-up call, warning you to slow down. It's not healthy to rush about too much and get insufficient rest.
Boyfriends Past
19 May, 2009
Q. I always have dreams where I have to choose between my fiancé and my ex-boyfriend. This boyfriend is from about 8 years ago, when I was 14 years old. It was a very innocent relationship because I was not ready to be sexual at all. We were together for about 6 months, but I truly loved him. He was an amazing person and he helped me through a rough time in my life. I think he still loves me to this day and would be with me in a heartbeat if I asked him too. In my dreams he is always telling me how much he loves me and I always choose my current fiancé over him. We have very little contact through e-mail. No phone or face to face contact. It’s really making me feel like I'm making a mistake marrying my fiancé. Help me please!
A. I get more letters about exes than just about any other subject. My usual answer is that dreams of exes are always to do with unresolved past issues. This meaning is intensified when the dream recurs and your case guarantees that it's urgent. You may think there's nothing to work out with your ex but your dreams are saying different. Of course you're not crazy. Maybe it's as simple as speaking to him personally. It's always better to have positive relations with everyone as far as possible. Whatever your regrets or resentments are from the past, it's time to let go. The dreams are making that very clear. You don't really have to choose between the past and the present. I think the fact that you liked this boy when you were young and innocent also makes it a kind of fantasy, therefore, hard to shake off. It's just all getting mixed up in your dreams and you're allowing them to confuse you. Follow your intuition, be with the man you love and stop doubting.
Cheating Dreams
6 May, 2009
Q. I'm 18 and, well, I keep having dreams that my boyfriend's cheating on me with my cousin. When I confront him, he flips it on me and tells me to stop acting dumb and stop with my stupid jealousy issues. I'm not a jealous person but lately I have this gut feeling that he's cheating on me! I love this guy but I want to know if it's something for me to worry about. At the same time, I keep having dreams with my ex-boyfriend that I was with for 2-and-a-1/2 years. At the same time in that dream, I regret ever talking to him and realize I love my boyfriend that I'm with now. Please help me and let me know what these dreams mean.
A. You should never accuse someone of anything based on a dream. Not because dreams are not real, but they're not literal, only a reflection of our waking reality, like the flip-side. The dreams may very well be warning you of potential danger, especially as they're recurring but, by going on about them to your boyfriend, you're only losing your credibility. Wait till you have real evidence. Your intuition is a different matter. If you're having gut feelings about infidelity then check it out by all means. If you really love him, sort it out then let it go.
Grandma
21 April, 2009
Q. Last night I dreamt that my family was going to a second funeral for my grandmother, my mother and I walking in together (this was my father's mother). The location was a funeral home, her body more brown and grey. I sat down at the foot of the casket, crying. I turned and her eyes opened briefly, went shut and then opened again. They were the deepest blue. My aunt came over and said, "She's warming up." Her eyes fluttered again, the casket turned into a gurney, my aunt wheeling her out of the room and then she said, "I want to talk to Becky, I want to talk to Becky," which is me and then I woke up. Any thoughts?
A. As I always say when asked about dreams of dead loved ones, the interpretation depends on your belief about the afterlife. I personally believe that our loved ones can visit us after death but with your particular dream, I think it springs from your own desire for your Gran to be still alive. That's why the coffin turned into a gurney. A coffin represents death whereas a gurney is a hospital trolley designed to help. In hospitals, people have a chance of getting better. Hence, your aunt saying your grandmother had `warmed up, and her eyes turning bright blue, indicating good health.' This meaning is intensified by you hearing her calling your name. You want her to be alive and speaking to you - perfectly natural. These dreams may continue until you resolve the loss of an important loved one.
Worms!
8 April, 2009
Q. Early this morning, I dreamt of having worms in my mouth. The worms were still in their pods hanging on the roof of my mouth and there were a lot of them. But I can visually see the inside of my mouth looking at these worms in their pods ready to hatch or come out. I was not scared, not in fear but was only shocked and wondering why they were there. The worms were white in color, the pods that they were enclosed in were cream in color. The worms were not harmful, not as they seem visually and they did not hurt and/or inflict any pain at all. They were just hanging on the roof of my mouth. BTW, I know last night I had a few questions for myself regarding a decision I need to make about my career/work choice and in addition trying to determine my actual move to another city and possibly another state. I have been contemplating on these two decisions for quite some time, if that's relevant.
A. It always helps for me to know what's on your mind when you go to sleep as this affects your dreams. In this case, though, it doesn't seem to be directly related. Think about worms mean. They're pretty disgusting to most people and the thought of having them in our mouths is the stuff of horror movies. The fact that you weren't scared and the worms weren't harmful tells me the dream has a positive meaning. Here's what I think the link is between the worms and your decision - because they're in your mouth, ready to hatch, I believe you are concerned about something you have to say, perhaps to the person who won't like the choice you make. Indecision is very stressful so stop fretting, make a decision and ensure no more wormy dreams!
Child in Danger
24 March, 2009
Q. Last night I woke from the most horrific dream, it had me in tears to think of why I would dream such a thing and now I can't get it out of my head! It was pretty short, it consisted of me thinking my daughter was fairly quiet in her bedroom, aged 2 1/2, so I went to check up on her. When I opened the door there was a man, unknown to myself who looked very pleased with the fact that he had just sexually abused my daughter. I ran into the room and kicked the man in the head and at that point I woke up. This dream has really scared me, I can't get it out of my head and it's getting me down. I know that nothing like this is happening in real life and never has to me so I'm just wanting to know what the meaning of this dream must be? I hope you can help me as lack of sleep and worry is really starting to effect me. I am also 21 weeks pregnant.
A. I can certainly understand why this dream upset you so much but please don't take it literally and lose sleep over it. As you say, the events depicted don't have any basis in reality so you need not worry. I don't think it has anything to do with your daughter being actually abused. I'm glad you mentioned being pregnant because that explains your dream. It is simply a reflection of your feelings of protectiveness over your existing child and the one coming. You might be unconsciously anxious about the welfare of them both. Our emotions can play games with our minds so rest easy and you won't have nasty dreams anymore.
Cheater!
10 March, 2009
Q. My boyfriend in my dream has slept with our friend and my sister and then told me in my dream he didn't even when I saw him in my dream doing this.
A. You seem to have a lot of doubts about this guy. The dream clearly tells me this. Now, what you have to work out is if there's any truth to your suspicions and fears. If you just have an over-active imagination, it's up to you to change your thinking so you don't end up damaging your relationship. If, on the other hand, your dream is telling you need to watch out for him, check it out and break it off with him if you need to. My main warning to you is - things you see in dreams are not necessarily true so don't sweat on it and make it happen. Dreams occur to help us see things more clearly, not obscure our vision.
Falling
25 February, 2009
Q. I had a weird dream of me climbing up to a helicopter and then falling from it. What does this mean?
A. Falling is one of the most common dream experiences. It's always about feeling out of control. Your dream has the added dimension of the helicopter. Do you have any special connection or interest in this mode of travel? There's no specific message that I can see about riding in a helicopter but falling out signifies danger and powerlessness. So, to decipher what this dream wants to tell you, think about what in your waking life currently makes you feel scared or helpless? As always, get that clue straight and the meaning will become clear. Then you can address whatever the issue is and hopefully, let it go.
Ex Still Around
10 February, 2009
Q. I have a recurring dream about my ex-boyfriend. The funny thing is we broke up eight years ago and remained friends and talked on a regular basis until one year ago. After our breakup, he moved away and wanted me to visit then move with him. After all we had been through, I couldn't. He used to tell me he was ready to get married and that he would not wait forever so I better hurry. After almost two years, I had a strong dream and feeling that he was married/ getting married or had a baby on the way. I had to call him and he would not admit anything. It turns out he was visiting my MySpace page, although he doesn't have one, was married and had a baby girl who was one at the time. He was contacting my best friend and talking with her. She just happened to tell me one day that he "stalks" my page. Well, I found it kind of creepy which prompted my call to him during which he admitted having dreams about us and our sex life when we were together. I also found out his sister had passed from cancer (she hated me.) The dreams I am having are becoming more and more detailed now. When we were together, his family did not really like me. He is white and I am black and I am 4-1/2 years older than him. We dated from the time I was 23/19 to 30/26 - we were into some drugs and good times, but not addicts. We moved in together three weeks after we met. He changed colleges for me on his own, so needless to say his family was shocked and his sister was borderline racist. In my dream last night, his mother liked me and never said anything bad about me to his current wife. His sister gave me advice on our relationship and how to get him back. His Dad said he missed me and his nephew was a kid again and playful. I remember feeling out of place and wondering why they were being friendly with me. It felt good. My question is why am I having these dreams? I have not spoken to him, but want to. He does not have my new number, but does have this email address. I know I shouldn't because he is happy. But, my gut is telling me something is going on with him and I can't put my finger on it. Maybe his wife is pregnant again. I don't know. Why would his sister be in my dream and be nice to me?
A. As I often say, I get more letters about exes than just about any other subject. It's not hard to understand as broken relationships often leave us unsettled and hurting. In your case, you've both moved on but I agree that if he's checking you constantly online, there's something going on with him. If I had to guess, I'd say he's not gotten over you - simple as that. Why don't you contact him and just ask him how he's doing in a casual way? You can tell him you've been having dreams and just wondered if he was okay. As to the content of your dreams, as his sister has died, it's possible her spirit is visiting you to say she's sorry for the way she acted. The whole family treated you differently so perhaps that's how you wished it to be. Our dreams often reflect our innermost desires. Take this as a sign that you have unresolved issues with this guy and do something about it very soon.
Mom On The Other Side
28 January, 2009
Q. I have dreams of my mother. She passed away 5 years ago and when she comes to me in my dreams, she talks to me but I don't understand what she is saying. What does that mean? Then some days we talk about my life and how the family is doing. Can you help me understand?
A. I personally believe that when we see dead loved ones in our dreams, they are actually communicating with us. This is in no way proven or provable but I've had a lot of personal experience with it. Recently a very close friend of mine passed away. I asked her before she died to communicate with me if she could. Since then, I've had many dreams of her with very clear messages. Sometimes, the communications will be vague and at others, vivid and powerful. It really doesn't matter. What's important is that your mother just wants you to know she's still with you. Enjoy her visits and don't sweat the meaning too much.
His Ex!
13 January, 2009
Q. I was wondering if you could interpret a dream I keep having. It's not an everyday dream. I dream this every couple of months. The dream I had last night was about my boyfriend leaving me for his ex-girlfriend. She told him she wanted him back and he left me for her. His ex is married and in the dream, she leaves her husband to be with my boyfriend, they have a daughter together and we have a son together. I don't know why I had this dream. In one of the previous dreams that I had the night before, I dreamed that he kept leaving me. He would act as though we were a couple and then when he would see me, he would act as though he didn't know me. These dreams have been occurring more and more often, I see my boyfriend was arrested 2 weeks ago and he will be there for a year. I am wondering if maybe him being gone could be causing these dreams? Please analyze them and let me know because they are driving me nuts!
A. Relax. Dreams aren't supposed to upset us even when they're scary or confusing. All recurring dreams contain an urgent message so let's try and decipher what yours is. From what you've described, I'm picking up very clearly a high degree of insecurity, fear and anxiety. I'm glad you told me your guy's in jail because that really explains it all - your feelings and the reason for the dream repeating. The details aren't important in this case and it's not actually about your guy going back to his ex. It's about loss. He's away from you at present so it's not hard to understand, is it? Be patient and he'll be back soon. Try not to worry because it will create more of the type of dream you've been having. If you relax and trust, the dreams will stop.
More of Charmaine's dream interpretations...
|
